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Old 10-05-2014, 03:01 AM   #1
itchie OP
Adventurer
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: SF
Oddometer: 47
Mongo 14: Chinggis Style

         11PM and I’ve given in to the couch, back slouched and legs splayed open in that way you can only do when you know no one’s looking. Red wine rests in splotches on my black ten dollar Uniqlo jeans and drizzles from the corner of my mouth because I can’t succeed at basic things. The TV is blaring and Gordon Ramsey is yelling at someone nearby about the color of his scallops. It seems that Gordon Ramsey is always angry about something nowadays (but he’s “much nicer on the BBC version”, as my more cultured friends would love to say).

         It’s night but the window is open, the brisk evening breeze pushing a steady flow of gnats into my general area, clearly ignorant of my two foot radius “personal space”. A faint gunshot rings out somewhere in the neighborhood. I’d imagine if this was the mid 90’s in Chicago someone had probably just lost their pair of Air Jordans, but it isn’t. It’s July 2014…in the Mission... in San Francisco. What could someone have lost here, now? A Macbook? A taco? I don’t know.

         My head is swimming from the mix of benzos and alcohol as I gingerly pick myself up from the couch and swoon over to the bathroom. Steadying my hand on the modern but boring condo formica counter, I urinate-sigh and think two things:

          "Important thoughts always occur now, why?"
          "I’ve got to get out of here"

         Yes, it’s time to go to Mongolia and ride cheap dubious motorbikes. What do I have to lose? I know if I plan long enough, I’ll probably just end up watching 18 more weeks of Gordon Ramsey screaming at bewildered scallops until its 2015. So soon I figure, I should go soon.

         Mentally impaired...errr, I raise a hand and count my fingers out loud like an infant,

         “wonnnn”
         “tooooo
         “threeee”
         “fiiiie”

Five weeks should be enough time to convince someone to join right?

itchie screwed with this post 10-06-2014 at 02:52 AM
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Old 10-05-2014, 07:56 AM   #2
ROAD DAMAGE
Studly Adventurer
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Steamboat Springs, COLORADO
Oddometer: 960
I'm in!

itchey, you have skills.
They may not be marketable skills ................. but skills, none the less.
Awesome first post to "get us hooked".

When are we leaving?
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Old 10-06-2014, 02:51 AM   #3
itchie OP
Adventurer
 
Joined: May 2009
Location: SF
Oddometer: 47
         It’s 4:30PM and we’re at the bar again. The kind of place that favors serving expensive pickles to the Vitamin-D deficient crowd. I’m sitting across the bench from my friend, let’s just call him “Greg” for now, finishing up our five dollar pints of sparkling yeast water. “I know I can do this”, I tell myself. I just have to convince one person and the trip is good to go. Two more beers and two tequilas in, and I go for the gold.
“Hey, let’s just flip a coin, and if it’s heads we go OK?”
         This is a flawless plan because unbeknownst to “Greg”, I’m in the zone. I’ve been here before and I know how the coin is going to land.

         It’s June of 2014, Reno, the Baccarat table. Bleary eyed and red faced from alcohol, I glance suspiciously around the table. One friendly face, one old, and one that looks a little mean but speaks politely so it’s OK. The dealer asks me if I’m doing alright.
“I’m doing alright”, I say.
         I’m staring so intensely at the table that I must look sick or constipated. In reality I’m neither, in that moment I’m absolutely telepathic. It’s the eighth consecutive deal I’ve won and the universe is in perfect alignment. The stars are where they should be, all the cats and dogs are friends, and I know exactly when the banker is going to win.

         We flip the coin and it lands on heads. “Greg” asks me to flip it again and if I had to “poop or something”. No, friend, no..., I thought to myself. This isn’t the look of constipation...this is telepathy face. The coin, having failed to meet my palm during my clumsy but aerobatic swat, lands on the table with a heroic “thunk” and spins. Like Leonardo DiCaprio after spinning his top in the 2010 documentary film Inception, we watch intently as it wobbles...and lands on tails.

Three words enter my mind:

Yes, motherfucker, yes.


We are going to Mongolia.
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Old 10-06-2014, 09:01 AM   #4
Doogle
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Joined: May 2009
Location: Ohio-Cincinnati
Oddometer: 518
I looked at this post because you mentioned Mongolia.I thought about hitting the back button,but read on since there were only 3 posts.In my opinion,if you want responses, you might leave out some of the fluff. I had trouble deciding what you are actually looking for. I think you and a friend decided to go to Mongolia. Go for it.

I rode through Mongolia last year.A friend rode through this year.Great experience. I think you want to fly there and buy bikes. I met 2 Aussies in the Gobi desert that did that. I think they bought new 150cc Chinese motorcycles in Ulan Bator and rode the northern route west.Then returned on the southern route. At the Oasis Hostel in Ulan Bator you can meet a lot of adventure riders doing similar rides. Some are waiting for parts for their expensive bikes.Mongolia is tough on bikes.I would be very concerned about riding an overloaded cheap Chinese bike through the Gobi desert.Although these guys said parts are available most places. But I would hate to be broken down here looking for parts.But if necessary you could learn to ride a camel to a town.You can ride camels can't you?

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