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Old 11-09-2008, 05:39 PM   #61
KLboxeR
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Always wear safety glasses when removing Jesus clips* or Jesus springs from any mechanical part. If you forget that first piece of advise, make sure your hands aren't covered in oil and carb cleaner when they reflexively fly up to extricate said clip or spring from your eyeball







* Jesus clips are those tiny parts that go flying across the shop during disassembly causing you to exclaim Jesus Christ!!!!! in frustration.
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Old 11-09-2008, 05:50 PM   #62
KLboxeR
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Never, ever look down into the throats of a tri-power carburetor when trying to diagnose an ignition problem on a '64 GTO.

The backfire that results in three pillars of flame spewing out the carb assembly from that 389 V8 will set your entire head ablaze.

I doesn't help if your brother, who was the one cranking the starter, is laughing too hard to get a blanket or fire extinguisher and assist in putting your noggin out
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Old 11-09-2008, 06:30 PM   #63
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Always put your home phone number in your cell phone, so when you forget to zip up your tank bag, the nice guy that finds your phone in the middle of nowhere, can call you. Oh yeah, don't forget to zip up your tank bag.
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Old 11-09-2008, 07:11 PM   #64
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Always put a tie down strap from the center stand through the front tire rim then back to the center stand when removing the rear wheel..or doing maintenance in general. Blundering into the back of the bike, or more to the point, pulling up on the torque wrench is the best way possible to roll the bike off the center stand.

(I didn't roll it completely off however it was -->||<-- that close to going kaboom before I realized what I was doing)
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Old 11-09-2008, 07:56 PM   #65
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NEVER get really annoyed and use channel locks to remove a stubbornly stuck socket from a ratchet while at the same time gritting your teeth and pulling towards your self in Charlie Brown like fashion.


I swear I realized what a bad idea that was exactly 1 nanosecond before that socket let go and the wrench powdered half of a central incisor.
Left a white mark on the channel locks and me with a tooth like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber or hockey tooth.

Love that dental Bondo.
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MiamiMotorcyclist screwed with this post 11-09-2008 at 09:03 PM
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Old 11-09-2008, 08:30 PM   #66
baldwithglasses
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If you take the full gas tank off your bike in the garage, please make sure you place the gas tank on something STABLE so you don't have to smell what four gallons of gasoline smells like in a confined space.

Also, when you hear the gas tank hit the ground while watching TV, it's not the wind, and it demands your attention NOW instead of 30 petroleum-soaked minutes later. I'm just sayin'...
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Old 11-09-2008, 11:22 PM   #67
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiamiMotorcyclist
NEVER get really annoyed and use channel locks to remove a stubbornly stuck socket from a ratchet while at the same time gritting your teeth and pulling towards your self in Charlie Brown like fashion.


I swear I realized what a bad idea that was exactly 1 nanosecond before that socket let go and the wrench powdered half of a central incisor.
Left a white mark on the channel locks and me with a tooth like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber or hockey tooth.

Love that dental Bondo.
Oh, yeah, ouch. My version is when changing a tire by hand, NEVER, EVER pull a stuck tire iron directly towards you. It can hit you directly, squarely, on one's front tooth. I thought I knocked it out. My tooth, lips, and mouth were sore for over a week.

I change tires to save money, but spending $150 on an emergency dentist visit doesn't balance the budget. My tooth is OK, luckily, but the dentist said this was not the first time he saw someone who whacked a tooth while changing a tire.
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Old 11-10-2008, 04:27 PM   #68
fritzcoinc
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When you carry extra fuel in your back pack, be sure to use a suitable contianer.

I used an old Colmen camp stove fuel can. No problems on the first trip. Different story on the second trip. And of course I found the damm thing leaking AFTER I filled up the bike.
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Old 11-10-2008, 04:28 PM   #69
fritzcoinc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KLboxeR
Never, ever look down into the throats of a tri-power carburetor when trying to diagnose an ignition problem on a '64 GTO.

The backfire that results in three pillars of flame spewing out the carb assembly from that 389 V8 will set your entire head ablaze.

I doesn't help if your brother, who was the one cranking the starter, is laughing too hard to get a blanket or fire extinguisher and assist in putting your noggin out
Same goes for a four barrel!!!!
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Old 11-10-2008, 04:52 PM   #70
marchyman
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Move the pads of your finger tip away from the cable tie holding a bundle of wires before you clip off the tie with your side cutter.

// marc
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Old 11-10-2008, 05:03 PM   #71
JimVonBaden
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marchyman
Move the pads of your finger tip away from the cable tie holding a bundle of wires before you clip off the tie with your side cutter.

// marc


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Old 11-11-2008, 11:40 AM   #72
Flood
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frank Warner
Before puting in fresh oil .. put drain plug
That one's easy. I can do that. That one ain't:

1. put bike on stand.
2. disassemble various bits&pieces, including front wheel.
3. remove forks.
4. remove fork oil drain screws, drain fork oil.
5. disassemble forks, clean, inspect and measure various bits&pieces of machinery.
6. re-assemble.
7. reach for the 2 containers of fork oil that contain exactly the amount you'll need.
8. remember to reinstall those little drain screws from 4) before emptying one container of precious oil all over the shop floor, cleaning up all the mess, fill forks with 1/2 the amount of fork oil necessary, put everything back together, ride around like that for 2 days before you can get new oil and have to start at 1) again!
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Old 11-12-2008, 11:54 AM   #73
kamanya
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If you have a hairy chest, don't let the rotary wire brush hop back from the spokes you're polishing and catch the front of your shirt.... Well, Ok, if you intend to remove a LOT of chest hair very quickly/painfully it's a damn near unbeatable way of doing it.
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Old 11-13-2008, 03:42 PM   #74
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Ok, i got a couple.

1. Engine oil goes in the engine oil fill spout, not the transmission one.

2. When welding in short sleeves, put down the mig gun before reaching for your other arm where the slag just landed. (think 1/2" deep bloodless, cauterized gouge in your arm.)
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:42 PM   #75
KLboxeR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tulebox
2. When welding in short sleeves, put down the mig gun before reaching for your other arm where the slag just landed. (think 1/2" deep bloodless, cauterized gouge in your arm.)
Youch! Then you get to deal with a sunburn when you're done welding in short sleeves

That reminds me of one that happened a couple of months ago:

If you are using a plasma torch, be sure and take your finger off the trigger when you lean against the welding table to adjust the workpiece.........otherwise one's pants zipper might ground against the table while you inadvertantly press the torches trigger resulting in , what I like to call, the "molten yyk zipper against my pubes and holy shit I almost burned my junk off with a plasma torch" dance
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