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Old 08-29-2012, 06:39 PM   #5326
Bogfarth
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Joined: Dec 2011
Location: The Northwet
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Bluhduh College

I'm sitting on the bike down at the community college, fishing my gloves up from the depths of my courier's bag. These two kids do their worst gangsta-limp over to where I'm parked. They're both white, maybe 18, with clothes that are five sizes too big and still graced with tags. His buddy only has the top button of his flannel done up, and Dockers fit for a 400 lbs-er barely clinging to his legs. The first kid's hat was on sideways with some giant, gold sticker still on the (flat as a board) bill. Kid #1 asks...

"Izzat like uhh Vulcan 1800?"
"Nope, she's a V-Star 650 "
"Damn yo, a 6-fiddy? So does this, like, wheelie an shit?"
Me:
His buddy leaned over to eyeball the speedo and said, "Shit, yo. This only do, like, 120. Issa girls bike."

They both clambered into mom's van a moment later when she pulled up and honked. Complete with Elton John's Rocket Man playing so loud, you could hear it clearly over the Diesel Tech guys doing a run-up. Wonder which degree those kids are going for?

**

A guy about thirty comes up just as I drop my visor and get ready to split from campus. He looked like an accountant, and yelled over the bike, through my helmet and earplugs.

"Damn nice Harley, man! What model is it?"
I flipped the lid up and yell, "It's a 650 V-Star."
"..."
"Ya know, a Yamaha?"
" don't lie to me, man! That's a fuckin' Harley, asshole! You're so stoopid you don't even kn...!"

I slammed the lid shut and took off. Yep, he's a college student.

**

The best was a little old lady, probably pushing 80. I'm guessing the woman driving was her daughter. They'd parked two (empty) spaces over from me at Wally World. I was gearing up on the bike as they pulled in. This older lady, thin as a rail, got out of the car's passenger seat real easy. She looked up, spotted my Star, and stopped in her tracks. After a second, she did slow shuffle up to the bike's left side and gave my 650 a long look. Then she shuffled around the other side. All the while, she's got this smile that's part magic and part wonder on her face. I sat there on the bike with the stand up, my neon bucket in my hands. After about a minute of giving my bike lover's eyes, she shuffled up beside me. She leaned over, put a feather-light hand on my shoulder and said in the voice of a Georgia Peach, all classy and soft, "Hunny, if I was a mite younger, I'd jump right on this beauty of yours and we'd start some real trouble together."

Puts a grin on my face every time I remember her!
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:46 PM   #5327
WVhillbilly
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The last one makes up for a bunch of non riding ass clowns calling a 6 fiddy a girls bike.
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Old 08-29-2012, 08:01 PM   #5328
pretbek
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WVhillbilly View Post
The last one makes up for a bunch of non riding ass clowns calling a 6 fiddy a girls bike.
Is OK, they will grow up (yeah right) to become men (yeah right) who call a twelf hunnert (Sportster) a girls bike.
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Old 08-29-2012, 11:12 PM   #5329
NordieBoy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WVhillbilly View Post
The last one makes up for a bunch of non riding ass clowns calling a 6 fiddy a girls bike.
Well it was a v-star.

Easy mistake to make.
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Old 08-30-2012, 03:55 AM   #5330
WVhillbilly
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Originally Posted by pretbek View Post
Is OK, they will grow up (yeah right) to become men (yeah right) who call a twelf hunnert (Sportster) a girls bike.
But then they would be correct
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Old 08-30-2012, 05:07 AM   #5331
Ragin Rabbi
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Fulton County PA Gas station, filled it up (station is a full-service but I did it anyway) two "attendants" standing there, skinny guy asks;

S.G. "What's that under the guard on the side"

Me "What part"?

I then start pointing at various bits. Finally.

S.G. "Yeah, that"

Me "Its the cylinder head"

S.G. "Dude, did you make it? I've never seen that before".

Somedays I fear for the nation.

BMW 1150.
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:24 AM   #5332
BK.RD.RNR
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Location: Livin' in the 90's
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bogfarth View Post
"Hunny, if I was a mite younger, I'd jump right on this beauty of yours and we'd start some real trouble together."

Puts a grin on my face every time I remember her!
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:39 AM   #5333
Chinookmark
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Joined: Oct 2005
Location: New Hartford, CT
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Q: "What kind of bike is that?"
Me: "A Triumph"
Q: "Oh. Who makes that?"
Me: "Triumph"
Q: "So is that a Ninja?"
Me: "No, it's a Yamaha."
Q: "Oh, cool!"
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Old 08-30-2012, 09:11 AM   #5334
mrprez
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Location: Mobile, Al
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Boss: You need time off to ride the TAT? What's that?
Me: Off road trip from NM to OR. I need 3 weeks.
Boss: You taking the Valkyrie?
Me: No, I think the DRZ400S would be better
Boss: All that way on a dirt bike? OK, have fun...
Me: WOOHOO!
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Old 08-30-2012, 09:36 AM   #5335
mapleleafalumnus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bogfarth View Post
The best was a little old lady, probably pushing 80. I'm guessing the woman driving was her daughter. They'd parked two (empty) spaces over from me at Wally World. I was gearing up on the bike as they pulled in. This older lady, thin as a rail, got out of the car's passenger seat real easy. She looked up, spotted my Star, and stopped in her tracks. After a second, she did slow shuffle up to the bike's left side and gave my 650 a long look. Then she shuffled around the other side. All the while, she's got this smile that's part magic and part wonder on her face. I sat there on the bike with the stand up, my neon bucket in my hands. After about a minute of giving my bike lover's eyes, she shuffled up beside me. She leaned over, put a feather-light hand on my shoulder and said in the voice of a Georgia Peach, all classy and soft, "Hunny, if I was a mite younger, I'd jump right on this beauty of yours and we'd start some real trouble together."

Puts a grin on my face every time I remember her!
That, Sir, is simply the BEST comment I've ever heard!!!
It's just so damn classy!
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Old 08-30-2012, 04:27 PM   #5336
MagyarMan
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You have to watch out for old ladies! When I got my Yamaha YDS3 back in 1966,my next door neighbor ,Mrs.Bosch says to me over the backyard fence. " See you got yourself a wheel"! A what, I say. She says a wheel ,you know a motorcycle.

Now let tell you she was about 70 at the time and was the kind of lady that had doilies on her furniture. She goes on to say ,I used to ride with my beau on his Indian --- and whispers, that was before I married Harry!

You have to remember ---they were young once too!
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Old 08-30-2012, 05:00 PM   #5337
BK.RD.RNR
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My last name, especially when looked at quickly, looks very similar to the f' word, and people who have not seen it before always ask how to pronounce it.

I had 2 little old ladies (about 70ish) in my office one day, I handed them a card, and then went about getting some additional literature for them.

As I was coming back to my office, I could see them with thier heads together talking and looking at my card.

As I came back in one of them asked me how I pronounce my last name. I replied, "I usually tell the ladies they can pronounce it however they want" with an obviously fake smooth tone to my voice.

Making little old ladies laugh like school girls is as sweet a sound as a baby laughing histerically. Totally infectious.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:54 PM   #5338
helion42
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Location: Salt Lake City, Zion Curtain, UT
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazydrummerdude View Post
A couple months ago, I saw him as I was driving my clapped out 1985 318i with different colored body panels and dry-rotted tires, that smokes like a 2-stroke. First thing he asks, "Is it fast?" "Uh, yup."
A volatile combination, I'm working the same. Even with a franken-engine, the E30 really is just a slow car that's fun to drive fast.
Before the rebuild, it had such a whine that I had someone ask me if it was turbo, and I just said "...yeah." instead of explaining the decaying bearings and loose tappets. hell, I even had someone ask if it was diesel

helion42 screwed with this post 08-30-2012 at 09:03 PM
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Old 08-30-2012, 10:02 PM   #5339
jeepinbanditrider
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Joined: Sep 2007
Location: MCAS MIRAMAR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chinookmark View Post
Q: "What kind of bike is that?"
Me: "A Triumph"
Q: "Oh. Who makes that?"
Me: "Triumph"
Q: "So is that a Ninja?"
Me: "No, it's a Yamaha."
Q: "Oh, cool!"
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:30 PM   #5340
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Quote:
Originally Posted by helion42 View Post
I even had someone ask if it was diesel
Now that's when you gotta worry!
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