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Old 07-01-2013, 04:37 AM   #6616
majlee_vmi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RidingDonkeys View Post
My Jeep is down due to electrical gremlins. As such, I've been riding to work all week, despite the thunderstorms.

Yesterday, I rode the Bonnie hack. It is green.

Today, I rode the Ural. It is red.

I approached the Fort Bragg gate and got engaged by stupid. Today, stupid took the form of a MP Private, fresh out of training.

Guard: "I had never seen a sidecar once in my life before yesterday. I saw one yesterday, and now you pull up on this one.

Me: So you saw one yesterday?

Guard: Yep.

Me: Was it a green Triumph with a cargo hack?

Guard: Yep.

Me: Then that was me you saw yesterday too.

Guard: No, the one I saw yesterday was green, not red.

Me: I know, I ride the green one too.

Guard: But this one is a Ural. The one I saw yesterday was a Triumph.

At this point, the guy's NCO is chuckling at the exchange. He gets it, and is laughing at his own Soldier. I've got a formation to get too, so I figure I need to end this quickly.

Me: Wait, you saw a green Triumph yesterday? I've never seen one of those. It must have been something else. Have a great day!

Now the poor kid's NCO is laughing uncontrollably. As I pull off, I hear him say "Private Johnson, didn't we tell you to not to talk to anyone?"

Tomorrow, I'm taking the Triumph and going through his lane again

You ever had a whole platoon of MPs under your command? This is typical until they make E7, then the light switch seems to come on...
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Old 07-01-2013, 05:56 AM   #6617
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Quote:
Originally Posted by majlee_vmi View Post
You ever had a whole platoon of MPs under your command? This is typical until they make E7, then the light switch seems to come on...
I have to say my favorite one with an MP did not involve a motorcycle.

I was at Fort Carson and heading to the Company one morning from the BOQ. It was cold and there was ice on the road. I was driving my old Saab 99 with studded snows on all four. Came to a stop sign at a T intersection. Looked both ways. Saw the MP car coming from the right but I had plenty of room so I pulled out to the left.

Next thing I know he lit up so I pulled over. Unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and slid off the road down an embankment, about 10 feet, to the right. I got out of the car looked over the side of the embankment and asked him if he was OK. He said "Yes, sir. But, sir, it's icy out here and you've got to be more careful!"
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Old 07-01-2013, 06:32 AM   #6618
David R
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Riding with a group on my new R1200R. We were not into triple digit speeds but every corner was a hole shot. Guy behind me on a 600 says "your bike has a lot of torque" I just smiled and said thank you. He could not catch me every time.

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Old 07-02-2013, 07:49 PM   #6619
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I filled up my FJR earlier today. When I went inside to pay, I asked for a car wash (they have one of those high pressure touch free automatic car washes). "You're going to take your bike through the car wash?!", the cashier said in amazement. I laughed and told her I planned to take my van though the car wash tomorrow.
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Old 07-02-2013, 09:52 PM   #6620
oz97tj
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kbuckey View Post
I have to say my favorite one with an MP did not involve a motorcycle.

I was at Fort Carson and heading to the Company one morning from the BOQ. It was cold and there was ice on the road. I was driving my old Saab 99 with studded snows on all four. Came to a stop sign at a T intersection. Looked both ways. Saw the MP car coming from the right but I had plenty of room so I pulled out to the left.

Next thing I know he lit up so I pulled over. Unfortunately he couldn't stop in time and slid off the road down an embankment, about 10 feet, to the right. I got out of the car looked over the side of the embankment and asked him if he was OK. He said "Yes, sir. But, sir, it's icy out here and you've got to be more careful!"
hahaha. That's the definition of a retard.
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Old 07-11-2013, 10:38 AM   #6621
Draechon
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Recently at lunch, I was walking back to the Bandit from a restaurant. A guy in a lifted F-150 pulls up next to me before I get on the bike and asks if I'm about to leave. The parking lot is pretty small for this place, and crowded during lunch. I respond in the affirmative. He turns to his passenger and says, purposefully loud enough for me to hear, "I hate how all these m*f'n motorcyclists think they own the roads, now they're even taking up our f*n parking spaces."

I yell over, "Where else to you expect me to park?! They don't have designated motorcycle spots here." "Well, you coulda parked on the f*n sidewalk!"

Not wanting to continue the downward-spiralling exchange, I resumed my leaving of the lot: I put on my helmet and gloves, started the bike, decided now was a good time to organize the trunk, shut the bike off, took off my helmet and gloves, messed around in the Givi case a bit, re-dressed, started the bike, decided to listen to some tunes, so took the helmet off, pulled out my phone, checked my email, looked for some music, put in my earphones, helmet back on, and slowly continue on my way. All told, probably added only 3 minutes to my departure, but 3 minutes is an awful long time to be an angry redneck waiting on a parking spot.
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Old 07-11-2013, 10:46 AM   #6622
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You have more patience than me...
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Old 07-11-2013, 10:50 AM   #6623
SnowMule
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Dinner at texas roadhouse last night
Rode the 525. Since I was going through the city, I knew I could hop in the HOV lane and blast past all the slow cages through town, and I'd much rather be on the bike than in the truck.
Get to TR, buddy just pulled in. Lock up the bike, helmet in hand, jacket, boots, etc.
Table's ready about 10 minutes later, gal seating us nods at my helmet, "You ride? Crotch rocket?"
I laugh, "No, dirt bike." That kinda jammed her thought process....
"Like ... street bike?"
"No, like dirt bike. Covered in mud, bumpy tires... dirt bike."
"Oh..."

I still don't think it sunk in all the way.
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Old 07-11-2013, 11:39 AM   #6624
univibe88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SnowMule View Post
Dinner at texas roadhouse last night
Rode the 525. Since I was going through the city, I knew I could hop in the HOV lane and blast past all the slow cages through town, and I'd much rather be on the bike than in the truck.
Get to TR, buddy just pulled in. Lock up the bike, helmet in hand, jacket, boots, etc.
Table's ready about 10 minutes later, gal seating us nods at my helmet, "You ride? Crotch rocket?"
I laugh, "No, dirt bike." That kinda jammed her thought process....
"Like ... street bike?"
"No, like dirt bike. Covered in mud, bumpy tires... dirt bike."
"Oh..."

I still don't think it sunk in all the way.

Was she cute? If so, you fucked up.
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Old 07-11-2013, 12:34 PM   #6625
Flyinace1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draechon View Post
Recently at lunch, I was walking back to the Bandit from a restaurant. A guy in a lifted F-150 pulls up next to me before I get on the bike and asks if I'm about to leave. The parking lot is pretty small for this place, and crowded during lunch. I respond in the affirmative. He turns to his passenger and says, purposefully loud enough for me to hear, "I hate how all these m*f'n motorcyclists think they own the roads, now they're even taking up our f*n parking spaces."

I yell over, "Where else to you expect me to park?! They don't have designated motorcycle spots here." "Well, you coulda parked on the f*n sidewalk!"

Not wanting to continue the downward-spiralling exchange, I resumed my leaving of the lot: I put on my helmet and gloves, started the bike, decided now was a good time to organize the trunk, shut the bike off, took off my helmet and gloves, messed around in the Givi case a bit, re-dressed, started the bike, decided to listen to some tunes, so took the helmet off, pulled out my phone, checked my email, looked for some music, put in my earphones, helmet back on, and slowly continue on my way. All told, probably added only 3 minutes to my departure, but 3 minutes is an awful long time to be an angry redneck waiting on a parking spot.
I've done that before when someone wanted to be an idiot. The person actually got tired of waiting and went looking for another spot literally seconds before I pulled out. Oh well, maybe next time they'll be nicer
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:01 PM   #6626
XR4EVER
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draechon View Post
"Well, you coulda parked on the f*n sidewalk!"
What? So he can bitch about a bike parked on the sidewalk? What a douche. Well played, Draechon.
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Old 07-11-2013, 04:06 PM   #6627
BK
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Originally Posted by XR4EVER View Post
What? So he can bitch about a bike parked on the sidewalk? What a douche. Well played, Draechon.
Ha ha! I cussed a motorcycle in a parking lot today, but only because I couldn't see the bike and I thought the space was open.
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Old 07-12-2013, 12:17 AM   #6628
rat110
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Originally Posted by ChevalDeFer View Post
Ha ha! I cussed a motorcycle in a parking lot today, but only because I couldn't see the bike and I thought the space was open.
Did just that yesterday
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Old 07-12-2013, 03:54 AM   #6629
Vertical C
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChevalDeFer View Post
Ha ha! I cussed a motorcycle in a parking lot today, but only because I couldn't see the bike and I thought the space was open.
Best way to troll the cagers....park the bike all the way in. Bonus points on the scooter -you can see the steam coming out of their ears

Yes I realise I could get it knocked over but its only a scooter, and I only do it when I can see it because otherwise its no fun.
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Old 07-12-2013, 09:26 AM   #6630
slartidbartfast
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Motorcycles in car spots are only assholes if there's a bunch of them and they took a whole space each. Some cruiser riders are bad about this but I think the wide spacing reflects their general "largeness" and lack of precision about riding.
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