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Old 11-11-2013, 07:03 PM   #7276
Transpomgr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by heliport13 View Post
Carpet bombing is SO last century.

In case you've been living in a cave, democracy is now implemented using "smart" munitions.
And if you HAVE been living in a cave, you should know that shit makes us nervous. You'll most likely be democratized soon. You should probably get a new house.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:53 PM   #7277
BRPtourer
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Being that I am short, fat, bald and ugly, I figured she would realize that I was joking.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:07 PM   #7278
k-moe
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Originally Posted by BRPtourer View Post
Being that I am short, fat, bald and ugly, I figured she would realize that I was joking.
You never know

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Old 11-11-2013, 09:18 PM   #7279
1911fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BRPtourer View Post
I was cruising through town the other day, not paying attention, probably going a little over the posted 25 mph. Got pulled over by a somewhat attractive female cop and she asked the age old stupid question, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Now I'm not known to come up with witty responses quickly, but I think I did okay. I answered "I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess, you probably heard about my sexual virility and wanted to see if the stories are true."
Though I seemed to detect a faint smile she responded, "Not likely, just watch your speed through town". I got off with a verbal warning.
I called one a Dickless Tracy once. Did not end well.


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Old 11-12-2013, 05:57 AM   #7280
BRPtourer
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Originally Posted by 1911fan View Post
I called one a Dickless Tracy once. Did not end well.


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I'm not surprised... I used to be rather belligerent toward them in my younger days. I learned.
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:27 AM   #7281
1911fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BRPtourer View Post
I'm not surprised... I used to be rather belligerent toward them in my younger days. I learned.
I wasn't, particularly. I bought a used car from a dealership that turned out to have title problems, so the dealer and state DMV were going at each other over it while I drove the car. I'd been pulled over a few times for no front plate, and after looking at the huge amount of paperwork from the dealer/DMV/State Troopers that said I could drive with no front plate til they got it figured out, the officers would shudder and hand it back to me. A mess they wanted no part of.
She was a rookie, and I was frustrated with her lack of understanding. And the fact that it had died in the middle of rush hour traffic. We went back and forth for quite some time, and she said "If I were a male officer you would not be giving me such a hard time." and stupid me replied "You Dickless Tracies are all trying to prove you're as good as men, and it ain't so!"
Conversation over, except for "Sign here" five times. So I went to court with all my documentation, and the judge wanted to know why she'd written me the tickets. I wound up having to repeat those words in traffic court to a rather large audience, most of whom laughed. Tickets dismissed. Officer woman was present, and NOT happy.



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Old 11-12-2013, 10:51 AM   #7282
ColdWater
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You win.
You made me snort my beer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1911fan View Post
I wasn't, particularly. I bought a used car from a dealership that turned out to have title problems, so the dealer and state DMV were going at each other over it while I drove the car. I'd been pulled over a few times for no front plate, and after looking at the huge amount of paperwork from the dealer/DMV/State Troopers that said I could drive with no front plate til they got it figured out, the officers would shudder and hand it back to me. A mess they wanted no part of.
She was a rookie, and I was frustrated with her lack of understanding. And the fact that it had died in the middle of rush hour traffic. We went back and forth for quite some time, and she said "If I were a male officer you would not be giving me such a hard time." and stupid me replied "You Dickless Tracies are all trying to prove you're as good as men, and it ain't so!"
Conversation over, except for "Sign here" five times. So I went to court with all my documentation, and the judge wanted to know why she'd written me the tickets. I wound up having to repeat those words in traffic court to a rather large audience, most of whom laughed. Tickets dismissed. Officer woman was present, and NOT happy.



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Old 11-12-2013, 12:35 PM   #7283
mark1305
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Quote:
Originally Posted by k-moe View Post
You never know

This.
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:04 PM   #7284
1911fan
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If I had his hair, we could be twins.


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Old 11-13-2013, 03:37 AM   #7285
mountaincadre
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Quote:
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Sounds more like a bombing operation, where we democracy the shit out of some country.
Classic, hope you don't mind but I will have to use that.
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Old 11-13-2013, 07:01 AM   #7286
pretbek
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Originally Posted by mountaincadre View Post
Classic, hope you don't mind but I will have to use that.
I don't mind because I only badly paraphrased someone else's clever phrase.
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Old 11-15-2013, 08:25 AM   #7287
Sun Ray
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Is that a Moto-guzzi? Me: Yeah, sure.
I have an FJR. I shook my head and walked away.
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Old 11-15-2013, 10:01 AM   #7288
all4the.ride
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was asked this last week....*I ride a DRZ400 sm* after 3 hrs riding trails and dirt needed to refuel pulled up to the gas pump took off my helmet guy says wooo your a girl? I respond *last time I checked* he says and you ride a motorcycle? I just stair at him for a min than he says so you need gas? by then I just want to be back in the hills so I say look dude I can pump my gas you just go help some one ells PLEASE. he looks at my bike and asks so how fast dos it go? I just put my helmet back on and went to the next gas station.
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Old 11-15-2013, 10:30 AM   #7289
psychopompos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by all4the.ride View Post
was asked this last week....*I ride a DRZ400 sm* after 3 hrs riding trails and dirt needed to refuel pulled up to the gas pump took off my helmet guy says wooo your a girl? I respond *last time I checked* he says and you ride a motorcycle? I just stair at him for a min than he says so you need gas? by then I just want to be back in the hills so I say look dude I can pump my gas you just go help some one ells PLEASE. he looks at my bike and asks so how fast dos it go? I just put my helmet back on and went to the next gas station.
English please.
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Old 11-15-2013, 10:40 AM   #7290
MikeyT
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopompos View Post
English please.
Spelling and punctuation make a huge difference.
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