How I Nearly Killed My Friends In Baja

stickfigure · 04-23-2009, 03:32 PM

stickfigure · 04-23-2009, 03:35 PM

I have been bragging about my Central America trip to all my friends ever since I got back. The responses tend to fall into three basic attitudes: A) I hope to read your further adventures in your blog. B) I expect to read your further adventures in your obituary. C) I want to go!

Response C, of course, is where this story begins. I put out a call to my rider friends to see who would be interested in a trip into Baja. Despite an initial outcry of interest, when the time finally came to fill the scrotum with gasoline and ride, I only had two compatriots with sufficiently large-capacity testicles:

* Jon, a brand new rider on a shiny new, yet-unscratched (heheh) DRZ-400SM. He spent decades racing pedal-powered road bikes and believes that this gives him crossover skill on a motorcycle. The strange thing is, it actually seems to. What you should know about Jon is that he loves to create photoshop "art" of people standing next to downed motorcycles. Fortunately I can teach you how to recognize the fakes: The clear giveaway is that it will be a picture of me standing next to my own motorcyle.

* Nicole, an experienced sportbike rider who bought a kitted-out 2005 KLR just for this trip. She's one of four people in the universe currently alive that plays classical piano for a living and actually earns enough money to afford a KLR. Incidentally, I believe her armored gloves cost more than her motorcycle. Other than two days of American Supercamp (worth every penny, btw) she has no dirt experience. I believe she hopes to sell what is left of the KLR when we return, then get on her knees and beg her Triumph Daytona to taker her back.

A quick message to my friends who didn't come on this trip: YES, THAT'S RIGHT, A GIRL HAS BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU DO! Of course, if you've ever ridden with her, you probably already know that Nicole has bigger balls than you. On the other hand, as you can guess from the title of this narrative, you're probably spitting less sand from your mouth, sleeping in beds with comfortable little springs in them, and walking upright without a limp. Wuss.

Jon and Nicole may chime in on this thread with their version of the events. Let me assure you in advance that these will all be lies and fabrications. Especially the pictures. See "Jon" above.

To make this even more interesting, I'm riding a new (to me) KTM 990A with a lot of thorougly untested gadgetry and farkles that I installed last week.

Oh, did I mention that our plan is to take the nastiest, ugliest dirt roads we can find? By "our plan" of course I mean "my plan", because Jon and Nicole have no idea what they are getting into. May the Virgin Mary of Guadalupe (burned into a slice of toast, preferably sourdough) bless their poor, naive souls.

So, to sum it up:

Two weeks to get from San Francisco to La Paz and back, taking as many dirt roads as possible. Three bikes, only one rider with dirt experience and he has a 100+ lb handicap over the next lightest bike. New, untested bikes. What could go wrong?

K80JIM · 04-23-2009, 03:41 PM

I'm ready, get this thing going.

Mr. G · 04-23-2009, 03:47 PM

Subscribing

Lets hear more ....

Sourjon · 04-23-2009, 03:49 PM

IN!

espiritu · 04-23-2009, 03:50 PM

Ohhh looks cool so far!!!!

larryboy · 04-23-2009, 03:52 PM

Let's do it, sounds like fun!!

IceCreamSoldier · 04-23-2009, 03:58 PM

I'm ready when you are

SenorPeligro · 04-23-2009, 04:02 PM

Mmmmmm Baja goodness.

John Spartan · 04-23-2009, 04:04 PM

Let 'er rip!

Geddo · 04-23-2009, 04:11 PM

Sweet, Central America trip was great... looking forward to this one.

ladygodiva · 04-23-2009, 04:15 PM

klrukiddingme? · 04-23-2009, 04:15 PM

Yeeaaah, boyeeeee!

GB · 04-23-2009, 05:02 PM

bring on the report and the carnage

sp4ce · 04-23-2009, 05:09 PM

F*CK YEAH!

I really wish my scrotum had contained enough gasoline to join you on this one. Unfortunately, I only had enough to go to work (sucks) and back.

Post away!

PS: The image index page is genius. That should be mandatory for all ride reports.

04-23-2009, 03:32 PM	#1
stickfigure ^OP Fiendish Fluoridator Joined: Jun 2007 Location: Please don't call it 'Frisco Oddometer: 509	How I Nearly Killed My Friends In Baja __________________ San Francisco to Panama and back... eventually? How I Nearly Killed My Friends In Baja

04-23-2009, 03:35 PM	#2
stickfigure ^OP Fiendish Fluoridator Joined: Jun 2007 Location: Please don't call it 'Frisco Oddometer: 509	How I Nearly Killed My Friends In Baja I have been bragging about my Central America trip to all my friends ever since I got back. The responses tend to fall into three basic attitudes: A) I hope to read your further adventures in your blog. B) I expect to read your further adventures in your obituary. C) I want to go! Response C, of course, is where this story begins. I put out a call to my rider friends to see who would be interested in a trip into Baja. Despite an initial outcry of interest, when the time finally came to fill the scrotum with gasoline and ride, I only had two compatriots with sufficiently large-capacity testicles: * Jon, a brand new rider on a shiny new, yet-unscratched (heheh) DRZ-400SM. He spent decades racing pedal-powered road bikes and believes that this gives him crossover skill on a motorcycle. The strange thing is, it actually seems to. What you should know about Jon is that he loves to create photoshop "art" of people standing next to downed motorcycles. Fortunately I can teach you how to recognize the fakes: The clear giveaway is that it will be a picture of me standing next to my own motorcyle. * Nicole, an experienced sportbike rider who bought a kitted-out 2005 KLR just for this trip. She's one of four people in the universe currently alive that plays classical piano for a living and actually earns enough money to afford a KLR. Incidentally, I believe her armored gloves cost more than her motorcycle. Other than two days of American Supercamp (worth every penny, btw) she has no dirt experience. I believe she hopes to sell what is left of the KLR when we return, then get on her knees and beg her Triumph Daytona to taker her back. A quick message to my friends who didn't come on this trip: YES, THAT'S RIGHT, A GIRL HAS BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU DO! Of course, if you've ever ridden with her, you probably already know that Nicole has bigger balls than you. On the other hand, as you can guess from the title of this narrative, you're probably spitting less sand from your mouth, sleeping in beds with comfortable little springs in them, and walking upright without a limp. Wuss. Jon and Nicole may chime in on this thread with their version of the events. Let me assure you in advance that these will all be lies and fabrications. Especially the pictures. See "Jon" above. To make this even more interesting, I'm riding a new (to me) KTM 990A with a lot of thorougly untested gadgetry and farkles that I installed last week. Oh, did I mention that our plan is to take the nastiest, ugliest dirt roads we can find? By "our plan" of course I mean "my plan", because Jon and Nicole have no idea what they are getting into. May the Virgin Mary of Guadalupe (burned into a slice of toast, preferably sourdough) bless their poor, naive souls. So, to sum it up: Two weeks to get from San Francisco to La Paz and back, taking as many dirt roads as possible. Three bikes, only one rider with dirt experience and he has a 100+ lb handicap over the next lightest bike. New, untested bikes. What could go wrong? __________________ San Francisco to Panama and back... eventually? How I Nearly Killed My Friends In Baja stickfigure screwed with this post 04-23-2009 at 05:15 PM

04-23-2009, 03:41 PM	#3
K80JIM Super Tanker Joined: Feb 2006 Location: Huntington Beach Ca. Oddometer: 554	I'm ready, get this thing going. __________________ You're never lost as long as you still have gas!

04-23-2009, 03:47 PM	#4
Mr. G Normal Dude Joined: Apr 2005 Location: Ventura Co, So Cal Oddometer: 1,470	Subscribing Lets hear more .... __________________ LATER...........Gregg Salesmen welcome ............ Dog food is expensive !!! Ural Patrol - R1200RT - Looking for a Harley - Cars - 4 X 4's - ATV's - RV - Nikons -

04-23-2009, 03:49 PM	#5
Sourjon TAT'erd Joined: Nov 2008 Location: Louisville, KY Oddometer: 1,815	IN! __________________ Endeavor to suck less--Gaspipe I would rather be riding an imperfect bike than waiting around for perfection. --JDowns

04-23-2009, 03:50 PM	#6
espiritu Gnarly Adventurer Joined: Aug 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Oddometer: 105	Ohhh looks cool so far!!!!

04-23-2009, 03:52 PM	#7
larryboy Paint it black. Joined: Jan 2005 Location: Über Alles,Ca Oddometer: 12,852	Let's do it, sounds like fun!!

04-23-2009, 03:58 PM	#8
IceCreamSoldier suffering somewhere Joined: Jan 2008 Location: "X" cramento Oddometer: 438	I'm ready when you are __________________ Adventure begins when your plan falls apart.

04-23-2009, 04:02 PM	#9
SenorPeligro Proper Naughty Joined: Feb 2007 Location: Off the wrong map Oddometer: 1,919	Mmmmmm Baja goodness. __________________ Missing you Benjava! Coffee first! Then adventure... Video Antics Where am I Riding? Baja Blitz Yard Sale

04-23-2009, 04:04 PM	#10
John Spartan Middle Age Crazy Joined: Feb 2009 Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada Oddometer: 46	Let 'er rip! __________________ J.S. ______________________________________________ 2009 BMW F650 GS (June/2009)

04-23-2009, 04:11 PM	#11
Geddo ADV-11 Joined: Feb 2007 Location: Home of the Sharks! Oddometer: 233	Sweet, Central America trip was great... looking forward to this one. __________________ -Geddo \| '04 Moto Guzzi V11 Cafe Sport \| '05 Honda CRF 250X \| Trip to Tooele for WSBK '08 \| 3 Naked Twins take a Ferry to Victoria \| Sierra Pass Tour

04-23-2009, 04:15 PM	#12
ladygodiva Gnocca Joined: Sep 2007 Location: Snow place like home! Oddometer: 13,407	__________________ Scapham scapham dicere. "Life's too short to drink bad wine" Lessing "The civilized people have lost the aptitude of stillness, and must take lessons in silence from the wild." Isak Dinesen aka Karen Blixen "He who makes a beast of himself get's rid of the pain of being a man." - Samuel Johnson

04-23-2009, 04:15 PM	#13
klrukiddingme? Adventurer Joined: Aug 2006 Location: Half Moon Bay, CA Oddometer: 30	Yeeaaah, boyeeeee!

04-23-2009, 05:02 PM	#14
GB Mod Squad Joined: Aug 2002 Location: Toronto, ON Oddometer: 53,450	bring on the report and the carnage __________________ ADV decals, patches & flag? Here

04-23-2009, 05:09 PM	#15
sp4ce Orange Invader Joined: Oct 2003 Location: State of Grace Oddometer: 431	F*CK YEAH! I really wish my scrotum had contained enough gasoline to join you on this one. Unfortunately, I only had enough to go to work (sucks) and back. Post away! PS: The image index page is genius. That should be mandatory for all ride reports. __________________ -sp4ce 2up to TDF (San Francisco to Ushuaia) K75 PROJECKT

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