Is this a Very Bad Idea?

whitham_wannabe · 06-17-2009, 01:33 PM

My mate Chris and I have been planning a trip for a couple of months now, a week away to Glacier National Park then up into British Columbia. He is bringing his wife along, so I have kept the mileage down a little and planned a couple of rest days (not our usual style ...).

Three weeks ago I met a new girl, who hasn't been involved in bikes before, but we have taken a couple of rides and she loves it. So I invited her on this trip, and she wants to come along too ...

I'm just worried the reality of eight hour days in the saddle, camping every night, getting wet when it rains (all the stuff we love) may be a bit much for a whole week, and her first motorbike camping experience.

I really should break her into the adv thing more gently, but damn she's cute ...

P B G · 06-17-2009, 01:35 PM

Heck either she loves it and wants to ride more, or she'll hate it, and you find out quickly that she'd have made you sell your bike and go to more chick flicks.

But you'll have some investment to find out, that's the sort of ride that you need her to have good working gear.

And 2 bikes, 2 riders per means you have more trouble situating enough gear.

BgDadddy · 06-17-2009, 01:37 PM

If you have time, take her out for an overnighter ahead of time... make sure she really likes it.

Big D

Schtum · 06-17-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitham_wannabe

I really should break her into the adv thing more gently, but damn she's cute ...

"The woman who farts in the elevator is not the Golden Woman" Robert Bly.

Just thought I should mention this......

The Jerk · 06-17-2009, 01:45 PM

I say go for it. At the end of the trip you'll either be in love or you'll totally hate each other but at least you'll know where you stand.

phideaux · 06-17-2009, 01:55 PM

Be prepared to buy a plane ticket home!

Oilybimmer · 06-17-2009, 01:56 PM

Get the Lady some good gear and go for it

Stewart

The Yeti · 06-17-2009, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitham_wannabe

but damn she's cute ...

We need pics!!

markjenn · 06-17-2009, 02:08 PM

This is one of those things where there is no right answer - it might go Okay or it might blow up spectacularly. But I see enough warning signs that I'd forecast the second outcome is a lot more likely.

Instead take her on a shorter one with just the two of you. If this works, then do the big one next season.

Warning signs: 1) she isn't bike savy so you're taking advantage of her if she's not aware of the significant fatigue problems and safety risks, especially if you can't get her into the very best gear - imagine how you'd feel if you take minor spill and leave her maimed for life; 2) your motivation sounds more based in "she's cute" which is selfish rather than truly wanting to introduce the sport to her on its own terms; 3) she hasn't met the other woman and they may not get along at all - if they don't, you've got a mess on your hands; 4) you're camping which compounds the trip's difficulties and challenge factor; 5) my guess is that she'll not have great gear so while you may be doing Okay, she could be miserable, and 6) it sounds like you're traveling in some remote areas so if she's not into the scenery and such, it will be a very boring trip for her; it also makes it hard/expensive to get her on a plane home.

It's possible you can mitigate much of this by making sure she has great gear, taking her on a long-day trial run before you go just to make sure she likes sitting for long periods on the back of a bike, having a get-together with the other woman to see if they get along, planning all/most of the days to be hotels, and reducing the mileages and/or adding rest days. You could even pre-build a safety net into the system by having a refundable plane ticket purchased for her to go home at the halfway point with the idea she can use it or not, her choice.

It goes without saying that if you're going to be sharing a tent, you need to have expectations of what happens inside to be worked out ahead of time. If this is up in the air, you're really asking for trouble. I'd also have the sharing expense protocol discussed ahead of time - smoldering "who's paying for what" issues on tour can be pretty corrosive.

- Mark

Cyclemenace · 06-17-2009, 02:34 PM

The idea is great but Mark nailed it with his assessment. Give her the option of getting out via a plane ticket.

Good luck.

whitham_wannabe · 06-17-2009, 02:40 PM

I appreciate the wide variety of responses!

I am quite comfortable that I'm not 'taking advantage of her' by inviting her on a trip like this, she's not yer average girl, that's for sure. Our first date was an eight hour hike, so she definitely has a penchant for the outdoors, and she will have good gear to ride in. I have also not been shy about the dangers of riding ... I had to explain why I hop skip and jump instead of running these days.

But yeah, you have hit on my big concern, that we get 4 hours into the first day and she is bored / sore / pissed off. Then what?! But I'm also concerned that Chris' wife may feel the same, she hasn't been on a long trip before either ...

Maybe we should just take the car ...

Human Ills · 06-17-2009, 02:45 PM

Hmm. Hours of motorcycling punctuated by nights in a tent with the mosquitos. I can't see any woman hating this.

On the other hand. If she digs it, she's a keeper.

whitham_wannabe · 06-17-2009, 02:46 PM

It'd make for a fascinating ride report, though ...

Human Ills · 06-17-2009, 02:48 PM

....or letter to Penthouse.

markjenn · 06-17-2009, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitham_wannabe

I am quite comfortable that I'm not 'taking advantage of her' by inviting her on a trip like this, she's not yer average girl, that's for sure.

You sound very level-headed and considerate, so don't take this wrong.

Regardless of how much you tell someone that an activity is going to be hard or dangerous, if they've never experienced it before, I don't think telling someone of the risk relieves one of the responsibility of getting someone in over their head. But you're definitely in the better spot to make this dificult judgment.

It sounds to me that you can make this work if you sorta dedicate yourself to helping her out and making all the adjustments to the trip necessary for her to have a good time; sacrafice your own agenda if you will. If you're willing to do this, I say go for it.

- Mark

06-17-2009, 01:33 PM	#1
whitham_wannabe ^OP Studly Adventurer Joined: Feb 2008 Location: Mukilteo, WA Oddometer: 793	Is this a Very Bad Idea? My mate Chris and I have been planning a trip for a couple of months now, a week away to Glacier National Park then up into British Columbia. He is bringing his wife along, so I have kept the mileage down a little and planned a couple of rest days (not our usual style ...). Three weeks ago I met a new girl, who hasn't been involved in bikes before, but we have taken a couple of rides and she loves it. So I invited her on this trip, and she wants to come along too ... I'm just worried the reality of eight hour days in the saddle, camping every night, getting wet when it rains (all the stuff we love) may be a bit much for a whole week, and her first motorbike camping experience. I really should break her into the adv thing more gently, but damn she's cute ... __________________ From a WW1 RAF Flight Manual ... "If a crash at the home airfield is inevitable, try to hit something soft and, preferably, inexpensive" Travels With Bruce : More Travels With Bruce

06-17-2009, 01:37 PM	#3
BgDadddy What a Prick! Joined: Sep 2008 Location: Somewhere, USA Oddometer: 1,545	If you have time, take her out for an overnighter ahead of time... make sure she really likes it. Big D __________________ 2008 Harley Road Glide 2007 Bandit 1250 ABS 2006 KTM 450 EXC View My Ride Reports

06-17-2009, 01:45 PM	#5
The Jerk Bring us some fresh wine! Joined: Mar 2006 Location: Brooklyn, NY Oddometer: 2,327	I say go for it. At the end of the trip you'll either be in love or you'll totally hate each other but at least you'll know where you stand. __________________ 2011 Triumph Tiger 800 ABS 2000 Kawasaki W650

06-17-2009, 01:55 PM	#6
phideaux Beastly Adventurer Joined: Feb 2008 Location: NW Georgia Oddometer: 3,078	Be prepared to buy a plane ticket home! __________________ Iron Butt Association No. 22913 Mrs. Phideaux to her octogenarian friend when the granny wants to know if she can sit on one of my bikes: "It's Okay, they only fall over when HE'S on them." North GA Tag-O-Rama Map Georgia Tag-O-Rama Map

06-17-2009, 01:56 PM	#7
Oilybimmer Beastly Adventurer Joined: Jun 2007 Location: North Wales Oddometer: 1,421	Get the Lady some good gear and go for it Stewart __________________ 1998 GS 1100, TT hard parts, Zega panniers, MRA screen, WP rear shock, HID, keeps getting better. PM me for drawings and dimensions to make your own Canbus fluid adapter

06-17-2009, 01:35 PM	#2
P B G Beastly Adventurer Joined: Mar 2008 Location: Greater Chicago Oddometer: 9,781	Heck either she loves it and wants to ride more, or she'll hate it, and you find out quickly that she'd have made you sell your bike and go to more chick flicks. But you'll have some investment to find out, that's the sort of ride that you need her to have good working gear. And 2 bikes, 2 riders per means you have more trouble situating enough gear.

06-17-2009, 02:08 PM	#9
markjenn Beastly Adventurer Joined: Nov 2003 Location: Swellvue, WA Oddometer: 9,698	This is one of those things where there is no right answer - it might go Okay or it might blow up spectacularly. But I see enough warning signs that I'd forecast the second outcome is a lot more likely. Instead take her on a shorter one with just the two of you. If this works, then do the big one next season. Warning signs: 1) she isn't bike savy so you're taking advantage of her if she's not aware of the significant fatigue problems and safety risks, especially if you can't get her into the very best gear - imagine how you'd feel if you take minor spill and leave her maimed for life; 2) your motivation sounds more based in "she's cute" which is selfish rather than truly wanting to introduce the sport to her on its own terms; 3) she hasn't met the other woman and they may not get along at all - if they don't, you've got a mess on your hands; 4) you're camping which compounds the trip's difficulties and challenge factor; 5) my guess is that she'll not have great gear so while you may be doing Okay, she could be miserable, and 6) it sounds like you're traveling in some remote areas so if she's not into the scenery and such, it will be a very boring trip for her; it also makes it hard/expensive to get her on a plane home. It's possible you can mitigate much of this by making sure she has great gear, taking her on a long-day trial run before you go just to make sure she likes sitting for long periods on the back of a bike, having a get-together with the other woman to see if they get along, planning all/most of the days to be hotels, and reducing the mileages and/or adding rest days. You could even pre-build a safety net into the system by having a refundable plane ticket purchased for her to go home at the halfway point with the idea she can use it or not, her choice. It goes without saying that if you're going to be sharing a tent, you need to have expectations of what happens inside to be worked out ahead of time. If this is up in the air, you're really asking for trouble. I'd also have the sharing expense protocol discussed ahead of time - smoldering "who's paying for what" issues on tour can be pretty corrosive. - Mark markjenn screwed with this post 06-17-2009 at 02:15 PM

06-17-2009, 02:34 PM	#10
Cyclemenace I should be riding Joined: Oct 2008 Location: Thousand Oaks, CA. Oddometer: 36	Mark is right on The idea is great but Mark nailed it with his assessment. Give her the option of getting out via a plane ticket. Good luck.

06-17-2009, 02:40 PM	#11
whitham_wannabe ^OP Studly Adventurer Joined: Feb 2008 Location: Mukilteo, WA Oddometer: 793	I appreciate the wide variety of responses! I am quite comfortable that I'm not 'taking advantage of her' by inviting her on a trip like this, she's not yer average girl, that's for sure. Our first date was an eight hour hike, so she definitely has a penchant for the outdoors, and she will have good gear to ride in. I have also not been shy about the dangers of riding ... I had to explain why I hop skip and jump instead of running these days. But yeah, you have hit on my big concern, that we get 4 hours into the first day and she is bored / sore / pissed off. Then what?! But I'm also concerned that Chris' wife may feel the same, she hasn't been on a long trip before either ... Maybe we should just take the car ... __________________ From a WW1 RAF Flight Manual ... "If a crash at the home airfield is inevitable, try to hit something soft and, preferably, inexpensive" Travels With Bruce : More Travels With Bruce

06-17-2009, 02:45 PM	#12
Human Ills Useful Idiom Joined: Oct 2008 Location: here Oddometer: 19,485	Hmm. Hours of motorcycling punctuated by nights in a tent with the mosquitos. I can't see any woman hating this. On the other hand. If she digs it, she's a keeper.

06-17-2009, 02:46 PM	#13
whitham_wannabe ^OP Studly Adventurer Joined: Feb 2008 Location: Mukilteo, WA Oddometer: 793	It'd make for a fascinating ride report, though ... __________________ From a WW1 RAF Flight Manual ... "If a crash at the home airfield is inevitable, try to hit something soft and, preferably, inexpensive" Travels With Bruce : More Travels With Bruce

06-17-2009, 02:48 PM	#14
Human Ills Useful Idiom Joined: Oct 2008 Location: here Oddometer: 19,485	....or letter to Penthouse.

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