Saturday's "Lets-Kill-Motozilla" Ouray ride report

Or why Paul hates me, and how I almost killed Baldy...

Over time, I have come to identify with certain riders on the site. I follow their posts loosely, and in spite of the fact that I don’t know them at all by any usual standard, I feel a close camaraderie with them as I read of their experiences and identify with them.

So I was shocked when MotoZilla, someone who I’d really thought a lot of, committed a massive blunder and identified himself as an idiot by saying that his GS could go anywhere my XR could. See it for yourself here. My public reaction was to accept, my private one was to give my best Dr. Evil laugh and plan his demise.

And, I wasn’t the only one to think that MotoZilla was out of his head. Most notably, Baldy also smelled carnage. In fact, he got such a strong whiff of it that he rented a jeep, loaded Ricky and his camera, and came along to record the event for posterity.

No sooner did we leave camp than I started getting weird feelings from the rear end of my bike. As we pulled into Ouray, Esteban gave me the international “you’ve got a flat, you dumb fuck” sign which consists of a pointed finger at the rear tire. I ran back to camp and changed wheels as quickly as I could.

When I got back up to the beginning of Engineer Pass, I ran into Baldy taking pictures of Wes Weber on his (f’in AWESOME) Rally Twin and did a few passes for the camera. It was at this point that I almost earned the wrath of the entire Advrider community...

I came out of the corner and got a little more drive than I thought I would, and caught a little different line than I thought I would, and to just come right out with it, did my best to run over Baldy on my back wheel. He dove out of the way at the last minute and came up saying “I got the shot”. I was ready to puke I felt so badly… Here’s a pic about 4 seconds before the incident…



After the near death incident, we did a few more passes, and then found a neat puddle to play in. Here’s a sequence (by Ricky) of Wes on the Rally Twin and one of me…












To give some perspective on where this was all unfolding, it was on this shelf road:


(thanks to Wayne Weber for the pic)

From there, we headed to the stream on Poughkeepsie Gulch... where we got even wetter.







After splashing around until thoroughly soaked, it was finally time to move on to _the hill_, where doubters such as I assumed that we would send MotoZilla home with his tail between his legs.

It was not to be.

Instead, MotoZilla climbed a steep hill consisting entirely of loose bowling ball sized rocks like his life depended on it. Which, given the size of the tiger he had by the tail, it may well have. I’ll let Baldy share the pics he took of the event… mine do no justice whatsoever to the climb.

These should pretty well sum it up, though…





So, let it be said that I was wrong about Paul. Not only is he a likeable guy who is even more demented than the next Advrider, he can ride a motorcycle. And while his GS may be big, it’s pretty capable. Little did he know this was only the beginning…

From the top of Poughkeepsie Gulch, those who remained (esteban, zilla, lc4carl, fatheadfred, and I) decided to head down to Silverton to meet up with other Advriders for lunch. The ride consisted of a bunch of high speed dirt road… I was rolling along at my normal pace when first Esteban (on his KLR) and then MotoZilla (on his GS-mongrel) dusted past me. To borrow from Jean-Luc’s sig-line, they were throttle committed. The rest of us just tried to keep up.

to be continued… the epic has not even begun…

for sure you and wes present a exelent subject to be photograf

is a shame I was in to much pain to walk to the top of the hill and take more chessy pictures...

actually i will love to see you riding your GS on that trail,you have skills and gutts to the wassu and was a pleasure to spend that morning togheter

Hopefuly some day we get to ride togheter and sure will be fun and very challenging

I just remember Wes saying something like he wasn't up for a long day or fast speeds (so he stayed with you psychos instead of us on the mellow GS ride), coming back saying he did 47mphGPS in the AIR on Imogene. The day must have got better. Keep those photos coming!!!! what a great day...

And anyone that has their GS like this and is smiling? Good attitude, that's all.

Thanks for being our guide Ned. Had a great time.

I did too, Carl, and I'd ride with you any time!

Nice photos. Riding on that shelf would have creeped me out. Too bad you missed Baldy.

Esteban aka Steve knows more about the dirt roads of Colorado than anyone else I've ever met, and he's constantly adding to his knowledge by chatting with anyone and everyone who will talk to him about geography. And so it was that on a previous trip to Silverton, he'd gotten the owner of the Conoco in town to disclose the location of a sweet singletrack which ran from Stony Pass (East and a little South of Silverton) to Cinammon Pass.

None of us had ever run this pass before, so it is with a clean concious that I can say to Motozilla "I didn't know what you were in for". But I could hope...

Stony pass was a twisty, turny, up and down blast. After riding together all morning, we were starting to get some comfort with being closer to each other... so Steve and Paul and I (Carl and Devin being a bit smarter) were dicing at various points. Holy shinola will that GS throw stones... follow closely at your own risk...

And, soon enough, we found the end of Pole Creek Trail, which was definitely singletrack, and definitely had moto prints on it. Off we went.

Esteban:



LC4Carl:



MotoZilla:




The trail got narrower and narrower- luckily, it never really got nasty, but it did have some soft spots where the GS's attraction to the earth became obvious:



There were also a few minor rocks scattered around the trail:







Each time I would stop, Motozilla would come up to me screaming curses and calling me a bastard at the top of his lungs. I'd flip him off, we'd both smile, and on we'd go. Even though he acted upset, we both knew that deep down inside, he was enjoying the hell out of himself.



At this point, when we topped out the pass, my camera quit working, so I'm hoping that the others can fill in a few final pics.

I was damn impressed with MotoZilla and his creation. So impressed that I made an offer, which I stand by, to help him get through the C-loop of a national enduro. Surely, that would be a pretty good piece of marketing for his impressive frame and suspension kit...

Eventually, we made our way back to camp, where we ate heartily, enjoyed friends new and old, told war stories about the day, and generally reveled in the collected insanity that is advrider, either live and in person or on the web...

Holy crap :huh

You guys are freakin nuts.

I'm wanting to call and order armor for my GS just looking at that pic.

Great photos!

Props to 'zilla on getting the pig up to the top 'o the Gulch! I know I gave him some shit about it (well he was talking some major smack the night before so much so that we had to get Baldy in a jeep to take some pictures of the potential carnage) but man you gotta respect the determination to get it to the top regardless of how many times the rocks conspired against him and resulted in a gravity confirming incident (they were really just breaks so he could catch his breath - god, I can't help but give him shit at every oppurtunity, it's a sickness). Seeing the pictures of the single track ride makes me jealous that I didn't go!

And for anybody that has even the slightest doubts...Ned can RIDE! That boy is flat out amazing...riding with him and DirtRider was a very humbling experience. Thanks for the fun times and the bruised ribs, shoulder, hand, etc. - heee, heee, heee...It hurt but it was so much fun it was worth it! Always remember - Less talk, more monkey!

Great pictures Mr. Duro. I had a great time riding with you on Friday. I wish I could have come on saturday, but I had already promised to take some other Montana riders over Corkscrew.

I bet Motozilla wasn't as cocky with his bike laying on the ground at the "gulch"! Kidding aside, I give him a ton of credit. I didn't think he would make it over at all. I don't think I could have made it on a GS. The pictures of Moto in the rock garden seals the fact that he has balls and skills.

Two thumbs up Moto man

Smack? Was I talking smack? Nooooo, not me! Ned, you are one crazy bastidge! You are also spot on, I had a friggin great time and even though I swore mightely at your route selection I was having a great time. I say let's do that "C" loop, Barstow-Vegas and Vegas to Reno next year!

Awesome weekend of riding, (I'm still sore) smack talking and meeting new and goood folks.

Ned being a "More Monkey" kinda guy not only rides like a man posessed, he also take great action photos.

Hell of a deal boys! Hell of a ride! And did I mention the best pie ever in Silverton?????

Stage 1

Motozilla testing his product in Poughkeepsie Gulch.

Esteban

Stage 2

Motozilla back on and climbing in Poughkeepsie Gulch.

Esteban

Here are a few more shots of Motozilla and his extra large DS bike on the top part of Poughkeepsie Gulch. For those that have not been, Poughkeepsie Gulch is a side road that comes off Engineer Pass near Ouray and connects to Silverton. For 300 + pound bikes there are two very challenging spots: the lower section of loose baby head size rocks previously shown - the top of this section is visible in the background of this photo, and the upper section (this photo) where a rock face has various routes over. Enjoy the photos. Esteban

sorry guys, I am having some trouble posting the pictures.

That's it! Three times YOU'RE OUT !!!