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Old 07-17-2009, 04:06 AM   #1
K1W1 OP
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Dear Sir,

It's a BMW. BMW's are designed and built to the highest German (therefore Universe) standards. Any issue that you may have has nothing what so ever to do with design it is obviously a result of;

1. Owner abuse.
2. Lack of maintenance at an approved BMW service centre.
3. Cosmic alignment resulting in extreme magnetic distrubance of the Earths equilibrium and rotational axis and therefore beyond the control of any human.

Sorry, your warranty claim is rejected.

Buy a V-Strom is you want reliability.
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Old 07-17-2009, 10:12 AM   #2
SkiFastBadly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoelWisman
This is all greatly simplified and all figures come straight from my rectum.
There's actually an engineering term for this. "Linear Rectal Extraction", or LRE
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Old 07-18-2009, 06:33 AM   #3
garandman
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A translation for you non BMW owners..

Quote:
Originally Posted by JoelWisman
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

//over or under tightening this bolt will lead to decreased capacity and a greater likelihood of it bending or breaking.
//
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Old 07-18-2009, 07:14 AM   #4
gelandestrasse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K1W1
Dear Sir,

It's a BMW. BMW's are designed and built to the highest German (therefore Universe) standards. Any issue that you may have has nothing what so ever to do with design it is obviously a result of;

1. Owner abuse.
2. Lack of maintenance at an approved BMW service centre.
3. Cosmic alignment resulting in extreme magnetic distrubance of the Earths equilibrium and rotational axis and therefore beyond the control of any human.

Sorry, your warranty claim is rejected.
This might have been written in jest, but it's pretty close to my actual experience with BMWNA.
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Old 07-18-2009, 11:26 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gelandestrasse
This might have been written in jest, but it's pretty close to my actual experience with BMWNA.
Mine too, never again. A thousand excuses, none of them BMWs fault.
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Old 07-18-2009, 01:44 PM   #6
Schlug
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K1W1
Dear Sir,

It's a BMW. BMW's are designed and built to the highest German (therefore Universe) standards. Any issue that you may have has nothing what so ever to do with design it is obviously a result of;

1. Owner abuse.
2. Lack of maintenance at an approved BMW service centre.
3. Cosmic alignment resulting in extreme magnetic distrubance of the Earths equilibrium and rotational axis and therefore beyond the control of any human.

Sorry, your warranty claim is rejected.

Buy a V-Strom is you want reliability.
and receive a shit suspension partnered with cast wheels daring your to really take it offroad. don't mind the tupperware, its only wicked expensive and held on with plastic pins. not to mention the bike is ugly enough to make a goat puke and changing the air filter means pulling the tank and at least some of the tupperware (wtf?) the shim and bucket valve adjustment PITA is makes doing one every 6k on a GS feel like a party. hopefully they've fixed the chudder by now even though Suzuki never admitted it existed (sound familiar, dude?) and hopefully the rear wheel is now aligned. the FI, Suzuki explained, it right on the mark even though at 2k rpm the bike will buck, snort, hiccup, and a quick wrap of the throttle will often (and unknowningly to the rider until the bike starts run like crap) cause a pre-fire and blow one of the boots--often the most difficult to get at, have fun removing you tupperware, tank, AIRBOX (omg) to spin the clamp around so you can get to it the next time you attemp to blip the throttle. even without an aftermarket exhaust or air-box mod, prepare to buy a powercommander III. ($300--thanks, Suzuki!) oh, replace those butter-bars while you're at home. they will surely bend the first time you have a zero-speed tip over.

don't forget the pleasure of burning the fuck out of your hand to get into the TBS screw (unless you have small hands or a reliable 10 year old neighbour) and taking a good hour or more to replace the coolant (if you bother to burp it correctly). best order the Mad-Stad bracket before you take delivery of the bike and three different screens as well. the windscreen is just far enough away for the wind to beat the living hell out of you.

P.S. every single one of your fasteners will corrode and look like shit in 30k miles. yes, even their low-grade 'stainless' fasteners. and don't hook up any electric lingerie AND use both headlights at the same time, unless you like push starting your bike (or in my case, my buddies bike) in front of 20 laughing biker types. yes, that's right, unplug one headlight and nullify perhaps the single best feature of the bike-- the headlamps.


(by the bye, i own and have 37k on a DL 1000 -- most of this was for entertainment value and a good laugh, although every single bit of it is true)
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Old 07-18-2009, 04:03 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbySands
(by the bye, i own and have 37k on a DL 1000 -- most of this was for entertainment value and a good laugh, although every single bit of it is true)
You forgot to mention the faultless highspeed handling, when loaded for bear and running solo and the way it cut's through highwinds like a knife through butter.

I've got a DL1000 as well, good thing it's reliable...

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Old 07-18-2009, 08:48 PM   #8
Schlug
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 996DL
You forgot to mention the faultless highspeed handling, when loaded for bear and running solo and the way it cut's through highwinds like a knife through butter.

I've got a DL1000 as well, good thing it's reliable...

996DL
dude...
you need a new rear shock, sprung and valved for your weight. then you'll see what 'faultless handling' is all about. if you can load that thing up with 60 pounds of racks, panniers, and gear and run it down a rock strewn, rutted up dirt track and claim that suspension is tops...

you've been drinking. not only is it undersprung if you weigh more than 200 pounds in gear, but it's simplistic in it's damping, front and rear. (if you take me up on that challenge, bring extra plastic pins with you as the one's holding your tupperware together will vibrate out. also, keep the number to Woody's Wheels hand for when you bend the piss out of the cast front wheel. and roadside assistance for when the front tire won't hold air anymore because of it.

have a fork brace yet? that'll begin to open your eyes. now go pay Sasquatch 500$ to rebuild, spring, and valve that rear shock and get back to us.


unless you don't take it anywhere but the slab. in which case, carry on. and remember, there's a reason harley's only have 4 inches of travel.
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"So what makes this protest different is that you're set to die, Bobby?"
--May well come to that.
"You start a hunger strike to protest for what you believe in. You don't start already determined to die or am I missing somethin' here?"
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Old 07-19-2009, 01:39 AM   #9
garandman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbySands
///

(by the bye, i own and have 37k on a DL 1000 -- most of this was for entertainment value and a good laugh, although every single bit of it is true)
It should be added, a 2003 DL1000. Where is the thread on the early DL1000 shock attachment failures?

Personally, I was aware of the suspension shortcomings of the DL650 before I bought one. But when I saw that just about every GS I looked at was sporting aftermarket suspension as well, I recognized that I could just buy an ELKA rear shock and a similarly straightforward solution for the very conventional front forks. As there are group buys for both, it isn't even very expensive.

As far as the expensive tupperware and being ugly, did you buy it at night, or blindfolded? Where da good looking Adv bikes at?
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garandman screwed with this post 07-19-2009 at 01:46 AM
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Old 07-19-2009, 05:30 AM   #10
Schlug
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point 1.
you'll find most GS's wear out their shocks between 30/40k.

you won't find nearly as many DLs with that many miles, period. you hear about 50, 60k stroms on rare occasion, like Brenden's from Stromtroopers-- his 1000 met 55k IIRC before it hand grenaded and off to a Wee he went. you hear about them because they are a rarity. a GS 1150 with 75k would't even be worth mentioning. 100k gets a quick glance. get to 200k, then people will look.

the shocks on a GS aren't rebuildable without having someone special doing it, and stock shocks cost as much as a quality set of Ohlins or Elka, ergo. more importantly, the stock, even worn and stock suspension is miles ahead of the DL's. i don't know about the Wee because.... because it's missing a pipe on that one side and about 350 cc's of oomph.

Point 2.
let's not get carried away with comparing the off-road life of a strom, ANY sized strom, with the off-road life of these 800GS's, two of which i know to have bent shock bolts. the other fellow, from Michigan, did his on a bombed out ride in south america. i heard him tell the story and he didn't seem to fault the bike much. incidentally, he was able to send that shock off and have it repaired and mailed back to south america. now-- he had to pay with is bollocks to get it through customs, just sayin'
go Ohlins!

point 3.
for 1000 usd give or take, the Ohlins is a better shock than the Elka (IIRC the group buy) with the Ohlin's piggy back resevoir, remote preload, remote compression, and seperate rebound damping. valved and sprung to your weight by a reputable shop.

point 4.
i wasn't buying the bike at night. i bought (puking in mouth a bit and shielding my eyes from it) it because it didn't cost very much and i was a 100% dirt rider not sure about his place in the world of big dualies. incidentally, this is the perfect place for the Strom. then, once i was sure i was in the right neighbourhood, i moved up. the best thing about the appearance of the Strom is: you can't see it when you're on it, thankfully.

i wish a bent shock bolt and mounting tabs were the mechanical issue with the Strom. instead of:
4 different screens to limit the brain damage i was slowly experiencing
1 set of master mike's spacers to align a rear wheel (wtf suzuki)
1 new corbin to replace to replace the crap saddle.
1 set of Moose racing bars to replace the factory butter bars
1 new clutch basket and 16 plates (fibres and steels) to fix the chudder (wtf suzuki?)
1 new thermostat and 1 temp sending unit (failed at 12k. top notch parts)
1 PowerCommander III to fix the FI issues that exist without argument
1 set of deathwings sitting aside because they are the shittiest tire known to man
1 new sprocket to fix the ridiculously high gearing making 6th available at 70 plus and offroading a clutch sizzling exercise.
1 giant WTF as i pulled the tupperware, the tank, the oil, the coolant, the F'ING RADIATOR, air box etc etc to do the valve adjustment, only to find my F'ING factory shims AREN'T STAMPED
1 quality dial calpre to measure those shims.
1 shim kit (every heard of a screw and lock nut adjuster, suzuki?)
oh, and thanks for the centrestand, Suzuki. sell me a chain driven bike with no centrestand. really classy.

now the bike is properly sorted. and sitting in the back of my garage while i'm out riding the 1150. know anyone who wants it? $3200 with all the aforementioned goodies.

last point.
where the good looking dualies? ever seen a KTM 950? did you MISS arrival of the BMW F800GS (the bike we're talking about?) if you don't find that bumblebee F800GS sexy, well...

by the bye, the F800GS has as much power as the DL1000 and as my GS1150, and loads more than a wee.

i'm not trying to break the balls of the Strom riders, just, you know, the facts. buy what you like and ride the piss out of it.
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"So what makes this protest different is that you're set to die, Bobby?"
--May well come to that.
"You start a hunger strike to protest for what you believe in. You don't start already determined to die or am I missing somethin' here?"
-- It's in their hands. Our message is clear. They're seeing our determination.
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Old 07-19-2009, 06:51 AM   #11
garandman
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Let me just say that some of your information is out of date, and bid you a nice day.
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Old 07-19-2009, 07:03 AM   #12
Boon Booni
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobbySands
by the bye, the F800GS has as much power as the DL1000 and as my GS1150, and loads more than a wee.
..
Wow, if that's all the extra git the DL1000 has over the DL650 I can't understand why anyone would want the 1000.

I found the extra "power" of the F800GS over the Weestrom to be fairly disappointing.
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Old 07-19-2009, 09:19 AM   #13
Schlug
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Quote:
Originally Posted by garandman
Let me just say that some of your information is out of date, and bid you a nice day.

you cited the fact that i had an '03 (for sale, anybody?) and now you're mad that i'm employing your paradigm?

can't have it both ways. wheel spacing may have been fixed. chudder may or may NOT have been fixed.

i believe that is the extent of the upgrades, aside from the windscreen (let's not pretend that's been fixed or i'll call you a liar, liar, pants of fire) and the fact that they went from 16 bit to 32 bit (IIRC) on the controls.

standing by for correction.
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"So what makes this protest different is that you're set to die, Bobby?"
--May well come to that.
"You start a hunger strike to protest for what you believe in. You don't start already determined to die or am I missing somethin' here?"
-- It's in their hands. Our message is clear. They're seeing our determination.
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Old 07-19-2009, 09:26 AM   #14
Schlug
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gramps
Wow, if that's all the extra git the DL1000 has over the DL650 I can't understand why anyone would want the 1000.

I found the extra "power" of the F800GS over the Weestrom to be fairly disappointing.
i'm seriously happy for you if the 'rabid' power of the wee sets you ablaze.

64 Horsepower at 8500 rpm and 427 lbs dry

i'd have to be looking you squarely in the eyes before i completely believe it, but for now, i'll take you at your word.

(easy with that right hand, now, tiger)

by comparison and to frame your comment in what might be considered a bit of a wee-love fog:

F800GS

85HP at 7500 rpm and 392 lbs dry


seems like you notice the difference. seems like anyone would notice 20 more HP at 1000 less rpms and 35 fewer pounds.

just sayin'
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"So what makes this protest different is that you're set to die, Bobby?"
--May well come to that.
"You start a hunger strike to protest for what you believe in. You don't start already determined to die or am I missing somethin' here?"
-- It's in their hands. Our message is clear. They're seeing our determination.
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Old 07-19-2009, 10:25 AM   #15
996DL
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Last intrusion into F800GS thread...

Quote:
Originally Posted by 996DL
You forgot to mention the faultless highspeed handling, when loaded for bear and running solo and the way it cut's through highwinds like a knife through butter.

I've got a DL1000 as well, good thing it's reliable...

996DL
Read between the lines Bobby, I was noting my DL1000 doesn't meet my expectations on the road. I never had any illusions about riding it off road.

Hats off to BMW for the Rotax sourced F800GS, although a work in progress (what new bike isn't), it's easily their biggest home run in years !

996DL
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