The "Holy #(&%!!! I'm gonna be a dad!" Ride

[Slappy McGee]

Until fairly recently, thinking about having children was always a bit of cerebral exercise for me. I would ponder what the kid might look like, what activities they might enjoy, and hope they would get my wife’s good looks, brains, non-grey hair, language abilities... well, just about everything. After a moment’s pause spent considering the possibilities, my brain would return to its regularly scheduled programming. Even as my wife and I “pulled the goalie” and starting taking this child thing a bit more seriously, the thought of fatherhood was a bit like pondering winning the lottery: an amusing daydream but lacking the substance of something more firmly in the realm of the possible.

That all changed a few months ago when we took “the test” and it came out positive. Mentally exhausted from trying to determine if the isosceles triangle with the three parallel lines indicated pregnancy, or if the test was actually displaying the obtuse parallelogram that represented not pregnant (why they can’t just make one that says YES or NO I have no idea) the gravity of what had just happened started to settle in. Clearly a good think was in order, and I know of few better places to get one than astride a motorcycle.

I had been idly considered riding out to WestFest for a couple of years, but had always planned the usual ADVrider routine: blaze out to some exotic location via the fastest route possible, ride like a maniac, then do the same in reverse. With “the news,” this ride took on a new dimension; it was a quest more than a ride to an event, perhaps the prelude to what was bound to be several new chapters in my life.

When I turned 21 my father gave me a letter he wrote on the day I was born. He mentioned what he was thinking and feeling at the time, and I tucked that idea away in the back of my mind. This ride seemed like the perfect time to do something similar. Not only do I want to capture my thoughts, but I thought a snapshot of the country and myself would make a neat gift to the next generation (not to mention a great excuse to buy some new camera gear).

With my checklist of last minute “to do’s” nearing completion, and the dawn of a fine day for riding, it looks to be a great day to head west.

[Mechanoligist]

[quote=Slappy McGee] Even as my wife and I “pulled the goalie” and starting taking this child thing a bit more seriously,

Congratulations !!!!!
Fatherhood is great!
Have a safe ride!

[leeinmemphis]

This is gonna be a good one. I can tell already. May as well get it out of your system because life is gonna be different. .....my kids are now starting to ride with me some and it has opened up all kinds of avenues of things to do with your kids. Congrats.

[Jonzilla]

This will be good. I am now 9 months into fatherhood and what a ride it has been! Ride while you can!

[Gadget Boy]

Congrats - I think! Great idea on the time capsule for your heir apparent

[Ridin Dirty]

I did a "last ride before" last fall with my bros. Our ride more resembled a bachelor party. I now feel selfish that I didn't do something as forward thinking and grandious. Now I can't wait until I can ride with my son. Ride hard but safe!

[pablo83]

Fatherhood has been a blast for me. My wife works and I take care of our daughter. Start looking for small bikes and big helmets.

[rwamf]

Great Idea, go for it.
It is fantastic the day you go on a ride with your kid and realize he is not only your son but a great ridding buddy.
Enjoy all the years in between as they will go by very fast.
seems like only yesterday he was on a 80cc Trials bike.

My son Malcolm, AKA "SonyMalc", May 16th 2009

[Michaelfish]

Congrats? Maybe?

We had 3.

Oldest is a girl. 28. She married a guy that don't like nothin we like. Oh well. Go figger.

2 boys. 27 & 23. They are the best a dad could ask for.

We woulda had a dozen if we could have afforded them.

Don't divorce if you can avoid it..... spend lots of time doin stuff they like.... then they spend lots of time doin stuff you like & .... blah blah blah...... It'll work out.

Its great!

[dakardad]

I have five. Had a blast. Do what they want and encourage them to ride by always being excited about riding. Your enthusiasm will infect them and you will have the best riding buddies ever, boy or girl. Start their riding early say five or so. It'll pay off BIG TIME!!!!

[RockStalker]

[quote=Mechanoligist]

Originally Posted by Slappy McGee

Even as my wife and I “pulled the goalie” and starting taking this child thing a bit more seriously,

Congratulations !!!!!
Fatherhood is great!
Have a safe ride!

Unless your son is a real pain the arse and keeps leaving his old Mustang in your precious garage space!

That sounds like a great idea Slappy, and have fun. I love riding with my old man, and I am very careful not to pass him, nor let him see me pull anything squidly in his mirrors. So, hopefully your boy/girl is just as sly...

[jean "the rob" luc]

Hi! Congratulations!

I´m nearly 35 years old and I love kids - unfortunately I don´t have any yet. Well, let´s see...

I like your style of writing - absolutely funny. I know, this ride report is going to be a good one, so please, keep it coming - I stay tuned...

jean "the rob" luc

[french horn]

Now I know why I hated being the Goalie !!

Congrats to you both, believe me, your life has just got sooo much better.
I gave my Son his first bike at 4yo, he did the same for his ... I enjoyed watching him ride then, now I relish watching his 3 sons on 2 wheels. We don't ride together much at all, a real shame but when we get the chance, ... what a feeling !!.. brings me to tears... really.
BTW, my Dad recently sold his bike ... he is 80yo.... reckons he's too old now.

I'm real happy for you, 'coz I know what's ahead.

[Slappy McGee]

Thanks for the comments, all! After a night "off the grid" I'm rocking some Mexican for lunch (hopefully it will not do the old "speedy gonzales" on my lower intestines later) but here's the latest installment. I'll work on pictures assuming I can get some better connectivity tonight.

Like the start of any long or extra-ordinary trip, my first day on the road was one of adjustment, especially since just under 48 hours ago I was in Beijing, China on a business trip. The obvious nature of a business trip had nearly every moment scheduled, countless meetings and frequent interaction with others. China also has a very different vibe to it than any other place I’ve experienced. The obvious major difference is that as a 200+ pound large white guy, there is no hope whatsoever of “blending in,” opening on up to all manner of solicitations. I’m constantly bombarded by offers for “sexy mass-a-gee,” and the surprisingly ubiquitous “special price for you” an all manner of goods and services. Couple this with the fact that you take your life into your hands when doing the relatively simple act of crossing the street due to the completely “different” style and norms of Chinese drivers, and you can begin to imagine the contrast to flying solo through the mountains of the Carolinas.

Perhaps the abrupt transition from China made the start of this journey all the more noteworthy. I truly find the motorcycle to be one of the best possible means of travel. You’re motorized, so you can cover much greater distances than backpacking or cycling, but you are still not completely separated from the physical realties of travel, as you are in a car or airplane. You feel the rush of the wind, the nuances of temperature between light and shade, and catch the sweet and pungent smell of a passing farm. The motorcycle is also much more visceral than a car, the twist of your wrist providing a more immediate and noticeable reaction than all but the most high-performance automobile. Turning requires the input of one’s entire body, rather than the casual turn of a steering wheel, and the mere fact that all these feats are performed while balanced upon two wheels surely must involve some element of voodoo or other black magic to compliment the physics I’ve long since forgotten.

As I passed from the suburban sprawl of our home near Charlotte to rolling farms that gradually grew into the Blue Ridge Mountains, I settled into the flow of motorcycle travel. Seemingly a world away from buzzing blackberries and Outlook reminders, the road becomes both mistress and companion. I traded Beijing street corner hustlers for no fewer than six conversations with total strangers who asked about the bike, or were eager to relay the tale of their own adventure, however big or small.

I had planned a longish day in the saddle, and had the GPS updating my ETA and making other seemingly vital calculations, when the intermittent drizzle that had followed my trek into the North Carolina high country along the Blue Ridge Parkway picked up and brought a thick fog along with it. Just as the road casually tossed aside my careful planning with what I could have swore was a dismissive laugh hidden in the wind, it brought a campsite along as visibility neared the single digits.

Not wanting to press my luck, or experiment with the effects of jet lag, I setup camp in the government-run campsite, happy to see that the trailers and there generators and satellite dishes were given a separate section of the camp rather than being mixed in with those of us who find the outdoors in our tent, rather than in 209 channels of high def.

As I walked around the campsite I could not help but get a tinge of excitement when I noticed families camping together. Sharing a tall tale around the campfire, or imparting some nugget of fatherly wisdom like “damn, that campfire is hot,” seems like a very fair reward for the first few months of poopy diapers, and being forced to use the word “poopy” in serious conversation.

Tomorrow’s plan calls for continued travel in a westward direction, and I’ll see where the road ends up taking me.

[Slappy McGee]

Just crossed the mighty Mississipi! I'm officially out west!