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View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.74%
Nasty? 27 12.80%
Nasty but nice? 155 73.46%
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Old 09-17-2009, 10:03 PM   #181
Dirtyboydeadly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
here's a pic of a BMW motorcycle to look at. You'll notice it's nice and black and shiney
I want that one. I have stainless cans lookin for a good home
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Old 09-18-2009, 01:50 PM   #182
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Hmmm....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtyboydeadly
I want that one. I have stainless cans lookin for a good home
Well, it could be available Dirtyboydeadly....but I'd want a realistic amount of our filthy English pounds for it; we can talk at some point? Now then, these stainless cans you've got...are they for 38mm pipes? I'm over at the Fuckinghamshire branch tomorrow afternoon doing the 'engine dance' with planktonnn, why not pop over and we can all talk bollocks about bikes in an interesting fashion....?

Here's a pic of the semi-jugged block for the std1...new stainless pushrod tubes fitted expertly, with just the right amount of hammering, by me and planktonnn....well, I was drinking tea and smoking while planktonnn actually did the physical side of the job, but on the philosophical level I played a crucial part in the proceedings.

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Old 09-18-2009, 02:00 PM   #183
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Catastrophic seal failure........

Swapped the seal on me coffee maker today, as it'd been losing pressure and blowing past the threads....but the bastard still pissed steam out the joint! So, doubled up on the seals thinking I'd solve the problem that way. Big mistake!! The fucker exploded....nearly took me head off, and sprayed hot coffee all over the kitchen!!!

What d'you mean, this hasn't got anything to do with airheads in general, or this thread in particular?! I was making coffee to take into the shed so I could work on me airhead....that counts, doesn't it?

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Old 09-18-2009, 08:00 PM   #184
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Thumb Ready, steady, assemble an engiiiiiiiiiiiiine - GO!

RE:TCP

I’m considered a dilettante even by dabblers, so I for one welcome the branching out into exciting new avenues of injuring yourself there in the MFM Caffeine Intensification & Enheatment Research Facility (your kitchen)*, I do hope that’s all tidied up though, or at the very least offered to the Tat Modern. Similar to the Tate Modern, but more tat**

Quote:
Originally Posted by planktonnn
Tomorrow will be finalising fitment of stainless p/rod tubes, assembling rocker sets, changing O ring on oil pump cover, fitting flywheel, making a decision on the clutch friction plate, scrubbing up & fitting (or not) the clutch, cleaning up engine mounting bolts, fucking a Llama, & generally prepping the block for installation in the frame on Saturday, where after I will pile on & torque down the top ends before it rains.
All done & more, to a rather obsessive degree. I do worry... I must report I was unsuccessful on the Llama front. The statistical likelihood of coming across a Llama*** in these parts is slim, though I did once wake up to find one in the back garden, escaped from a nearby carnival. But Llama can't strike twice right?

I shall hereto after, if I remember, refer to ‘jugs’, as buckets, though I reserve the right to use the word jugs in other contexts.

Things You Hear Over The Fence No. 131: One pissed (UK) & pissed (US) male ranting endlessly about ‘completely out of order’ behaviour of an absent brother - ‘Have to cross the street… bad vibes… giving me the evils… trying to set Mum against me… keeps pointing at me & trying to pick a scrap… what’s his farkin problem?’ - A brief pause, and one of his audience (of one) gently piped up ‘Well you were fucking his wife’. It’s like living embeded amongst the audience of the Jeremy Kyle Show****


I think we’re all ready to get the engine in; I’ve even set up a little work pod with (no doubt not quite nearly) everything we’ll need on it. While I’m setting my kit up I’ll need the forks on, and the shock, to provide a stable platform. Maybe we'll get it up on the (15) paddock stands, perhaps in a different place to ease access? The engine mounting spacers need scrubbing up, some slight attention paid to the mounting bolts & nuts, and one exhaust thread tended to, or we use another head I have*****. The side-stand will need spraying. As far as I can tell I’ve got everything ready from barrel skirt to rocker cover bolt on each side – all present to connect. We probably need to improvise a locking bar to allow torque-alization of the flywheel & clutch bolts. Flywheel goes to 125nm with oiled threads on later units according to Haynes.



* Formally the Futility Muffin Commemorative Garden Centre & Sauna.
** Cheap or vulgar tastelessness.
*** You dirty minded individual, go and put on the special truss now.
**** http://www.itv.com/Lifestyle/jeremyk...t/default.html
***** If it’s the correct side?

And now another photo of Astral, who runs a semi organic smallholding. He also runs motorcycles into the ground.
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Old 09-18-2009, 11:48 PM   #185
Dirtyboydeadly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
Well, it could be available Dirtyboydeadly....but I'd want a realistic amount of our filthy English pounds for it; we can talk at some point? Now then, these stainless cans you've got...are they for 38mm pipes? I'm over at the Fuckinghamshire branch tomorrow afternoon doing the 'engine dance' with planktonnn, why not pop over and we can all talk bollocks about bikes in an interesting fashion....?.
I am working till 4 today and might just have enough time to pop over quickly before rushing off to drive dermot and his band gear for a gig
Over and out
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Old 09-19-2009, 03:22 PM   #186
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Engine in and top ends top ended....

"I think we’re all ready to get the engine in;"

And he thunk most correctly....yet another good day in the annals of Martha Farquar Motorcycling Inc. Not only did we get the engine in with nary a scratch on the paintwork...I scored the pair of stainless silencers
from Dirtyboydeadly in exchange for various airhead parts ....we may have to dream up an initiation ceremony of some sort for Dirtyboydeadly if he keeps on being helpful like this..I wonder what it could be, hmmm?

Anyway, a nearly-new clutch plate ( with a juicy 5.75mm thickness) was slipped on after the flywheel was suitably (to us) torqued to a frighteningly tight torqueness...we mused on the reasoning for the increased torque rate (from 105 Nm to 125Nm) for the flywheel bolts, and after realising that the piece of 2x1 softwood I was utilising to hold the flywheel steady, as planktonnn did the business with the torque wrench, began to break at around 118 Nm, we settled upon a value of yes, 118 Nm !! Made sense to us....and still does. There's tight....and there's too fucking tight. If anyone from BMW, Haynes or Clymer wants to argue the fact, meet us for a fist fight and we'll see who wins the argument, is all I'm saying....

So, engine in, flywheel on, clutch on, jugs (buckets) on, heads on and rockers gapped.....lovely. Fuck!! Sidestand won't go on due to a small problemette in the sequence of fitting engine bolts and spacers...planktonnn say's not to worry. If planktonnn say's not to worry, I ain't worrying. I left him with strict orders to finish the bike off as soon as humanly possible, he told me to fuck off. Seems reasonable.

Here's a pic.....





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Old 09-19-2009, 03:35 PM   #187
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Explanatory pictorial depiction.....

This should make things a lot clearer.....as an Arts Professional (among much else) I thought an explanatory graphic was in order...here it is.

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Old 09-19-2009, 03:52 PM   #188
planktonnn OP
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Also:

Swingarm/shock/wheel off, gearbox on, clutch pushrod + associated stuff in & actuation mechanism on, swingarm/shock/wheel back on, driveshaft fluid in, bevel fluid in, sump off & cleaned & back on with new gasket, filter primed, engine filled with oil, exhaust downpipes & mid box stuck on for now, drive UJ bolts in but not tight, drive gaitor on but no clips, + other things that escape me. I'll see if I can find the pad springs & get the rear brake up as discussed. Also, we need a cap for the bevel breather, which I must say makes a mightily handy filling point

I had asked for wood rated to 125nm... the cheap bastards

If you're an arts professional maybe this is the bike you're looking for, I understand the tank bag comes fully stocked as standard, though charcoal is an optional extra.
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Old 09-19-2009, 04:12 PM   #189
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Hmmmmm...(#342654)

"Swingarm/shock/wheel off, gearbox on, clutch pushrod + associated stuff in & actuation mechanism on, swingarm/shock/wheel back on, driveshaft fluid in, bevel fluid in, exhaust downpipes & mid box stuck on for now, drive UJ bolts in but not tight, drive gaitor on but no clips, + other things that escape me. I'll see if I can find the pad springs & get the rear brake up as discussed. Also, we need a cap for the bevel breather, which I must say makes a mightily handy filling point"

WHAAAT!! You mean you haven't stripped and reconditioned the forks and resprayed the fairing as well....! Quite frankly, I'm surprised....

Ah yes...the breather doodab. I forgot to mention that, whilst cleaning it, I inadvertently broke off the little cap on the top of it. Well, now you know. I had thought it was a threaded, screw on item...obviously not. However, I do agree that it's a handy fillinng point, so all's well that ends well, eh? The G/S boys sometimes stick a bit of pipe on that for when they go underwater and stuff. I know we won't be doing that with the STD1, but I haven't got anything better to say on the matter and, if I keep typing words, you may have forgotten all about it by the time you finish reading this extended, meaningless, sentence.....

Keep up the good work.

Over and out.

er........


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Old 09-19-2009, 06:59 PM   #190
planktonnn OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
WHAAAT!! You mean you haven't stripped and reconditioned the forks and re-sprayed the fairing as well....! Quite frankly, I'm surprised....
I'm doing all that now - JEEZ!?! The spray compressor isn't really quiet enough to run at 2.30 am. That's why I want Astral on a bicycle modded to be a compressor, and a cattle prod for when his pace drops off. I've told you, 3 projector screens and footage of a brisk tour through rural France & he'd be a productive power source for a good couple of weeks. I could mount grinding, sanding and polishing wheels via auxiliary belt drives*, or just use the compressed air to aerate the Jacuzzi? Or to power a one man Bagpipe orchestra? Or… simply to blow air in his face to cool him from his exhausting task of compressing air to blow in his face to cool him down etc. You get the idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
Ah yes...the breather doodab... but I haven't got anything better to say on the matter and, if I keep typing words, you may have forgotten all about it by the time you finish reading this extended, meaningless, sentence.....
I've got another on a late donor bevel with a cap so we'll swap it? And the distraction strategy would only work if I was paying attention. I just scan every 5th word & move on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
er........
Quite.............



* The like of which Saint Dibnah would approve:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEE0k8503sU&
http://www.google.com/intl/en/#hl=en...1add818fa37fca
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Old 09-20-2009, 12:54 PM   #191
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Parts location anomaly......(er...)

As with all Global Corporations, it may sometimes happen that vital parts may not be where they were thought to be....with that in mind, I happened upon the rear brake shoe springs in my shed, planktonnn. Obviously, this means that they are not in your shed, so please don't look for them there....unlike the barrel-stud 'o' rings I hid as you were assembling the top ends the other day, these items were not the subject of a prank. I now realise that behaviour such as that is not helpful, even if it makes me laugh inside my head, and I will try not to do it again. Probably.

Over here at the Oxfuckshire branch, I attempted to fit the two Keihan cans I scored from dirtyboydeadly yesterday, only to find that they didn't fit....a real bummer. I spent all day trying to make a bracket to adhere my single seat, but that didn't work, either. I then offered up the keihan cans again, and guess what? They did fit! Funny old world eh? Then, I spent all day trying to make my carb intake elbows fit me Bings...fuckers wouldn't go on right, so I tried another pair...still didn't fit. I only had one other pair, and I felt confident they would be right. Guess what? Also fuckers...so I eventually realised what I have is 3 pairs of carb elbows for the later airhead plastic airbox, which is absolutely no use to me as I hate the later plastic airbox, and only ever fit the much more aesthetic and beautiful earlier aluminium type......world=funny (not).

In other news, my coffee pot is starting to behave itself, thank fuck. Percolates like a Presbyterian on PCP....obviously, I've never known a Presbyterian to use PCP, nor for them to impersonate a coffee pot, but I reserve my right to utilise whichever metaphor springs to mind at any particular time in my postings herein.

Oh, I meant to paint the sidestand today but I've just realised I forgot to do that. How are you getting on with completely finishing the STD1, otherwise? I'll sell you my share of it for 25,000 or buy your share for 25.00. Don't shout and get angry...that kind of deal happens all the time on Wall St. you know! The government wouldn't let it happen if there was anything wrong with it...........
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Old 09-20-2009, 06:17 PM   #192
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Cool2

Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
As with all Global Corporations, it may sometimes happen that vital parts may not be where they were thought to be....
Well, here @ the Assembly Line (my shed) we suspected they might not be here so didn't bother looking. You see, there was no chitty. If they were here there'd have to be a chitty, but chitty there was nothing whatever at all, blank, void, vacant, without a particle. None? Absent, non-resident, empty, nobody. Not a soul? Truant, missing, deserted, the bird has flown. None? Nothing. Tenant-less, devoid, minus, removed, exiled, elsewhere. Transferred? Misplaced, stayed away, nowhere to be found. Lost? Rejected, discharged, omitted, forgotten. Nothing. Evicted? Rooted out. Weeded out. Sent to Coventry. Brushed aside, bundled away, struck off the roll. Murdered whilst sleeping. Spat out. Blasted out. Flung out. Gone. Plucked from beneath our very noses. Bereft of life. A beggarly account of empty boxes. Incomplete. Ill furnished. Impoverished. Empty handed. Starved. Under fed. Under nourished. Undesired. Old mother Hubbard's famous empty cupboards. Scarce, cast off. Trash, inoperative. Inadequate, superfluous. Aborted. Terminated. Sterile. Impotent. Good for nowt. No, not here. Never. Nothing.

I must say I did heartily suspect you had purloined the O rings almost immediately I noticed them gone, but thought it good sense to scan the floor just so I was utterly justified in making a citizens arrest of some considerable disproportionate force & and calling the Pollis on the 'Twat Phone', a direct line to the Cuntstabulary I have for such regrettable occasions. As you know, I do so love the 'Blue Community', they're not at all the egoist maniacal thugs & un-badged stick wielding army plants they're portrayed as when filmed by the public killing the public and stuff. I really do think it should be illegal to film the police and I can't conceive of any reason why that might be a problem.

Now I'm guessing you did, what with your arts professional lateral thinking capability, and the certificates and such, but you haven't specifically stated whether you tried the plastic inlet-tract pipe-ulations on the opposite sides? Do feel free to shoot me down with a well placed hiding of O rings at some future point, but you don't actually mention it so I can't rule it out, and if you're going to submit sub standard Installation Report Diagnostic Statements to the Central Research Administration & Distribution Directorate, (the ADV shed) we must ensure that they meet the policies & standards deliberated over & ratified by the Board. Please note that if this happens again you will be subject to 4 years workplace bullying, followed by a sham redundancy & appeal process, and will then be made to walk away fully vindicated with a substantial compensation package and a 14 page severance & confidentiality agreement, before anyone with the power to bollock anyone responsible finds out even a whiff of what's happened.

In reference to your buy out offer, I can only imagine you have typo'd the figures the wrong way round? If you persist with this kind of sloppy work, the Board may consider an unfortunate but unavoidable permanent transfer to the 'Yo Mamma' department.

And now a picture. Someone we know has been talking about making a Beemer Boober or something like that? http://www.bikeexif.com/dbbp-bmw-bobber
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planktonnn screwed with this post 09-21-2009 at 05:40 AM Reason: No spell check in adv editor?, & to edit, no?
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:47 PM   #193
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Am currently engaged in trying to rescue the front forks, with the help of an article from the ever useful Classic Mechanics.
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Old 09-24-2009, 04:25 PM   #194
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Question Can we add to any shopping list, if there is such a thing?

Dearest Count PJ,

If, there amongst the splendour & decandence that is Head Office, you were considering an order, or at least compiling a list, may I beg to be able to request:

For Std 1 -
  • Brake rod front pivot clip (All twins 1976 on) | BRA34961 - 1.31 (INC VAT) as the shitty one onboard went p'toing when challenged with force.
  • Side stand spring (1985 onwards) | FRA10739 - 3.05 (INC VAT)
  • Big bag of money (MW code as previously, lets see if they've got it in stock this time). Is it poss. for you to cross reference the part number via MaxBMW?
And for moi - GEA38740 @ 4.37, for which Jesus will pay you in heaven (inc. interest,) or I can give you 5 of Green Shield Stamps?

I'll come back with anything else that comes to mind?

As ever, your humble spanner monkey/paint scratchist extraordinaire,

Philip Lanktonnn Esq.
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Old 09-24-2009, 08:53 PM   #195
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I assume this is from the MFMFC *

Is this open to the public or is viewing by invitation only.?




* Martha Farquar Motorcycle Foundation Collection
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