ADVrider

Go Back   ADVrider > Bikes > Old's Cool > Airheads
User Name
Password
Register Inmates Photos Site Rules Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

View Results: I have been to the county of Fuckshire, it was ...
Nice? 29 13.18%
Nasty? 30 13.64%
Nasty but nice? 161 73.18%
Voters: 220. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 05-13-2010, 04:20 PM   #661
rightsideup
Get your motor running...
 
rightsideup's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Skelmorlie, Scotland
Oddometer: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
Tsk, tsk....tsk rightsideupI've now changed my mind, and decided to award you honorary status as a Martha Farquar associate (2nd class)
Excellent news... are there any subscription fees due?
rightsideup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-13-2010, 04:27 PM   #662
rightsideup
Get your motor running...
 
rightsideup's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Skelmorlie, Scotland
Oddometer: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
Funny thing, I was perusing the banknotes and I noticed a strange anomaly, have a look at the pic and see if you spot what I'm on about.
I must have spent hundreds, perhaps even millions of those notes but I had never noticed that tiny little airhead parked there - just goes to show
rightsideup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2010, 12:11 PM   #663
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Egg'n'chips

Just before I go and install an egg'n'chips kit into my digestive tract...I thought I'd make the following observation: there seems to be a bit of a tendency at the moment regarding recent posts by hidden Englishmen. We've got rightsideup and slartidbartfast already coming clean about evading England, and secreting themselves in, respectively, Scottydogland and Looooooeeeeeezeeeeanna. Anyone else want to? Also, and I mean this in all sincerity, c'mon home boys! We've got a brand new exciting government and life is just going to be absolutely great from here on in...what could possibly go wrong? Not a single word from any of the fuckers, by-the-by, about the startling fact that all national budgets now have to pass through the EU before being presented and 'discussed' in parliament. I must have missed the bit were we sold our fucking arses to a bunch of unelected shit-faced NWO bureaucrats in Brussels.....I know I shouldn't talk about politics in the old's cool section, but I had a look at that 'Jo Momma' section and couldn't work out what the fuck was going on on over there. Been out on the bike again today ( to test the new foot peg rubbers and horn operation), and I'm falling dangerously in love with the STD1, even with it's problematic gear-selection / fairing interface, it's going to be wrench when it goes. Hey, I might start a new thread entitled "why I love my fucking motorcycle even though I'm a renegade hard-nut biker". I'll force you bloody ADV'ers to get in touch with your feminine sides and/or inner child, if it's the last thing I ever do. No, don't thank me, it's the least I can do.....hey, what's that lovely smell? Chips must be done.....
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2010, 02:07 PM   #664
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Spring think....

Ok, after a real tasty egg'n'chips*, three-slices and a fresh coffee, my mind turns once again to examining the controversial sidestand spring arrangement..slartidbartfast, on your knees! No, not just yet, when you get a moment could you perform the following task? Walk outdoors, avoiding the meth-head if he's lurking about**, and crouch down so as to peruse your sidestand again...I lightened up your pic (see pic) and noticed that the springs appear to be arranged alternately, in that they seem to be arse-about-tit i.e opposite way's around, and that the right hand one has a rubber doodad on it, yeah? Can you see if the doodad is thick or thin? That is, is it thin walled and wrapped around the spring coils themselves, or is it thick with a small hole to.....hang on I've just realised it must be thin-walled or else you wouldn't get the doodad over the spring hook....anyway, what my point is, is this: according to my scant knowledge of levers and springs, if a pair of pivoted spring coils are arranged alternately, do they change tension when the side stand is either up or down? See, I'm trying to think Teutonically, here...when the stand is up, does the r/h spring have greater tension than the l/h spring, and vice-versa when the stand is down? If not, why not?***

* For American-American's that's fries not chips, and for British-American's that's chips not crisps. But you know that anyway.

**If he is lurking about, smack him in the head with a 2x4**** and pretend you're me, that way it'll never stand up in court, 'cos I'm in Oxford and have a perfect alibi....you can't beat logic, stand's to reason yeah?

***That's a rhetorical question, I don't expect an answer, but you never know, you might have a Master's in Pivots, Levers and Springs'n'Stuff from
Baton Rouge Big School*****

****Or, as it should be known a 4x2, which is the correct spelling, but I don't want to get into that whole thing yeah, because we'll be here all night.

*****When I used to work in an under-21's Category A prison******, the junior murderers referred to adult nick as 'Big Man's Nick'.

****** Seriously, Spielberg!! Are you out there? I got stories you wouldn't believe and I haven't even mentioned the good stuff, like Mister Muyingo yet!

pjcr12 screwed with this post 12-05-2010 at 07:00 AM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2010, 02:24 PM   #665
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Funny you should mention that, rightsideup....

Quote:
Originally Posted by rightsideup
Excellent news... are there any subscription fees due?
Why yes there are, not fees exactly, but I'd completely forgotten about the initiation ceremony..as we always take into account geography when a new prospect approaches the hallowed edifice which is The Martha Farquar Organisation...what we will expect from you, rightsideup, as you are close enough, is this: the next time Donald Trump turns up in Scotland, flashing his vast wealth and ego, sneak up on him and piss in his pocket....you're either hard enough or you're not, ok? I'll leave it up to you to decide which. Oh, and we'll have to see either photographic evidence, or a letter from the procurator fiscal, right?
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2010, 02:51 PM   #666
slartidbartfast
Love those blue pipes
 
slartidbartfast's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2003
Location: Southern Louisiana or Southern England or ...
Oddometer: 4,851
Re: Spring Think

I'm afraid looking at the sidestand springs will take more than a walk out to the shed, as the RT and I are on opposite sides of the Atlantic at present.

However, I did find a parts reference that indicated TWO of the little bent metal thingys are required. This leads me to suppose that the second one is hooked over the pin on the sidestand bracket. Both bent metal things are therefore able to pivot and both springs will have equal tension at all times.

I don't remember why I put the springs on in opposite directions, nor do I recall where the rubber tube came from but I'm sure it's to stop the springs rubbing together and making a noise. My fuzzy memory seems to recall that upon buying the bike I noticed the sidestand was hanging down so went to buy a spring. I was told that two springs were required and duly purchased same, only later discovering that a bent metal thingy was also required (and presumably being told upon ordering that I actually needed two.) In a typical twist, I think the original springs turned up in the bottom of the tool-tray mere moments after installing the new ones.
__________________
MSF Ridercoach IBA: 35353 95 R1100GSA, 93 GTS1000, 85 R80RT, 93 DR350/435, 99 RX125, 78 DT100
January 2010 New Zealand South Island ride
Summer 2009 UK to Alps ride
Summer 2008 UK End-to-End ride
slartidbartfast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-14-2010, 05:05 PM   #667
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Ideas for new threads.....

So, as I've been forced to bring forward my time-slot vis-a-vis my initial whisky intake of the evening (from 10pm to 9.40pm due to circumstances beyond my control*), I have been thinking about future threads.

At some point, in the not-too-distant future, when I can hand back editorial control to planktonnn, and he takes up the reins once again** I shall establish a whole new stream of consciousness, of an altogether fresh nature. But what could that be? Choices, choices....here are some preliminary thoughts:

a) Ever built a motorcycle in a high-rise block with no lift/elevator***?
b) Considered the merits of chain-drive airheads?
c) What's the most stupid thing you've ever done to/on/with a motorcycle?
d) Drugs and motorcycles...is there a difference?
e) What's your favourite biker/biking movie/song/book?
f) What does motorcycling really mean to you?
g) Black leather: a bit kinky or simply sensible, what's your view?
h) Memorial posts: dead friends and respects paid.
g) A fucking cartoon strip!! Why didn't I think of that before?!

That'll do for now, mainly because I can't think of anything else at the moment...but to me, there's a whole lot of other stuff going on with, or about biking, that never get's really talked about on ADV or similar sites, and I know for a fact that motorcyclists are an entirely different breed (or would like to be, and there's no harm in that). Beyond the 'favourite bike' and wrenching/spannering/riding tales etc (and there's nothing wrong with that either, otherwise we wouldn't be here) I'm really interested in stuff that never really gets mentioned. For me, even with all the stupid bollocks I post, without motorcycles I'd be one fucked-up individual. Thankfully, with motorcycles I am as a risen god, chock-full of charisma, bonhommie and an erudite wit that gets me Scottish Poonds, love and affection and a kind word now and then...what else does a man need? Ok,therapy might be a start...I'll stop there as my feminine side and inner child are getting a little too close for comfort; sharing's ok, but there's a fucking limit you know...

* Self-imposed lack of herbal remedies.
** Any day/week/month/year now...it's a bit fluid, but time means nothing
when you're operating on the MarFar plane.
*** Seriously Steven, WTF eh?! Hells Angels, an album sleeve of hash oil, a
Harley that didn't fly...do I have to draw pictures, or what?

pjcr12 screwed with this post 05-15-2010 at 01:06 PM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2010, 02:22 PM   #668
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
666

Whoooo.........logged on today, and found that there'd been 666 replies all told on this thread.....that's a devil of a number! What the hell's going on? I'm satan at my computer, just thinking about the damn' thing.....

Also been thinking about doing a cartoon strip for the next thread I start...I can write bollocks all day long but, apart from a few things I'm going to do on the next airhead involving shortened / hooped subframes and cutting up a fairing spider to throw the headlight forward....plus maybe using a K1100 front end and faking some Raask rearset plates and stuff like bastardising oilhead snakey downpipes*, (which will just be done as a pics-based thing), I worry about people having to wade through yards of words (or even not bothering at all) 'cos y'know, I heart you guys....so, being an old cnut I'm thinking on the lines of a Gilbert Shelton / Robert Crumb** style thing....laughs are few and far between in this shit-hole, piss-stained existence we call 'being alive', and if I can raise a smile on your sad, fucked-up faces I'll feel I've performed a useful function within the old's cool milieu***

* See pic for an assembly / fabrication method
** Shelton: Furry Freak Brothers. Crumb: Fritz the Cat etc etc.
***That's a French word for 'place where men fall down drunk'

pjcr12 screwed with this post 12-05-2010 at 07:00 AM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2010, 03:31 PM   #669
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Other side...

The other side....why I like this is, apart from looking fucking ace, yeah?.. is because it let's you keep a nice long downpipe length which, as we know, allows for optimal exhaust gas evacuation whilst at the same time not fucking up your mixture / burn scenario, nor for that matter, requiring jet fiddling..* also it gives two points of pleasure which are as follows:

a) It is possible to achieve a lovely BA-DOOM on firing up the bike, especially when combined with a 50mm** shorty, straight-through can, which in turn allows you to achieve point 'b'...

b) After checking that the old lady on one side of me, and the nice Filipino family on the other side, were out for the day, I did a bad thing. The ugly cnut*** on the corner (two doors down) was just about to settle down with a cool drink in his garden, when I fired up the evil black airhead (which has straight through pipes at the moment with VW tailpipes stuffed in the ends) with an extra-special BA-DOOM, thus causing him to spill his drink all down his front. Yeah, I know, it's the kind of thing that gives motorcyclists a bad name, but for some reason as far as he's concerned, I really don't give a fuck.

* Not exactly sure about this, don't quote me
** Ditto, might be 45mm
***Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against ugly people per se, just
him.

pjcr12 screwed with this post 12-05-2010 at 07:00 AM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2010, 03:43 PM   #670
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
If you're passing this way....

[quote=slartidbartfast]I'm afraid looking at the sidestand springs will take more than a walk out to the shed, as the RT and I are on opposite sides of the Atlantic at present.


Well, drop by if you're anywhere close and we'll make you a nice cup of tea
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 02:24 PM   #671
rightsideup
Get your motor running...
 
rightsideup's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Skelmorlie, Scotland
Oddometer: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
a) Ever built a motorcycle in a high-rise block with no lift/elevator***?
b) Considered the merits of chain-drive airheads?
c) What's the most stupid thing you've ever done to/on/with a motorcycle?
d) Drugs and motorcycles...is there a difference?
I can answer these ones...
a) Not a tower block but I did, over the course of a few days, take my 750GT Ducati (in large lumps) up to my bedroom on the first floor of a squat in east london where I spent several weeks rebuilding it and then brought it back downstairs.
b) Briefly considered
c) & d) Rode a Moto Guzzi for several miles in the yorkshire dales whilst on some powerful acid.
That's it.
p.s. Consider the Donald Trump project done.
rightsideup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 03:47 PM   #672
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Hmmm....

I can answer these ones...
a) Not a tower block but I did, over the course of a few days, take my 750GT Ducati (in large lumps) up to my bedroom on the first floor of a squat in east london where I spent several weeks rebuilding it and then brought it back downstairs.

Not too bad, but as we know motorcycles in 1st floor rooms are quite an everyday sort of thing, however extra points have been added to your Martha Farquar (associate 2nd class) personnel files, due to this taking place in East London and involving a Ducati 750GT. I'm presuming you killed a Cockney whilst road testing the bike? And a squatter* eh? Were it not for the fact that it is impossible to become a Martha Farquarist (
1st class) due to you not being either planktonnn or myself, we have added a small gold star to your file in recompense.

b) Briefly considered

Same here, all it needs is a right-angle 1:1 bolt-on transfer box, a short shaft with pillow bearings and a sprocket, chain, different wheel, brake etc. Surprised no-ones doing kits.

c) & d) Rode a Moto Guzzi for several miles in the yorkshire dales whilst on some powerful acid.

That's where you made your mistake. 'Powerful' acid is no good, you need 'extra-powerful' acid for longer duration. Get it just right, and you never get off the bike. I remember when...**


p.s. Consider the Donald Trump project done.


Fucking excellent, that's two gold stars. Send the photographic evidence for that extra star and a merit badge.

* I've had several squats, the best being in Wales, but I had one in West Hampstead once, so I could be close (but not too close) to the Kilburn/Cricklewood area so as to be able to visit the Irish cafe and get massive croissants much cheaper than those snobby places up West End Lane. And Yorkshire Dales!!! ***

** No I don't, who would? Used to get 'extra powerful' sent over from San Fran (flower in your hair). Too old now though, just make do with a strong camomile tea and conspiracy theory websites, for that juicy rush.

***Used to do a lot of trail riding over Starbotton way and up to Yockenthwaite, then onwards upto Coniston for the mushrooms....happy daze. Fell off a lot though, although for some reason that just made me laugh.

Here's a pic of an ordinary motorcycle gang member, atop his 'chopper' in a 1st floor bedroom. Got spiked with 'extra powerful' on his Marines passing out parade. He passed out, got a dishonourable discharge, and went on to a life of crime. Young people eh, what are they like?

pjcr12 screwed with this post 12-05-2010 at 07:00 AM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 04:53 PM   #673
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
Strip test

These two guys are airhead riders of a certain age and a certain attitude to life....that's why I'm taking the risk of posting this strip. Even though there's no obvious airhead references in this first story, I want to see if people like it (them). This is not an attempt by me to push a product of any kind, 'cos it'll never be a product of any kind, and I'm only doing it in the interests of humour and to see if people would like the idea of a follow-up story that would be a funny take on airhead ownership ok? So, by all means....hang on my glass is empty....ah, whisky...if I get a lot of negative reaction, I'll make a decision as to whether I give a fuck or not, ok?

I'll tell you this though, I'm really surprised no-one's ever done a strip on ADV before, as far as I know. If you don't like my stuff, maybe it'll spur someone else to do one that's better, ok? These two guys are called 'Bodge Casually and the Sometime's Kid', for no other reason than that was what we used to call a couple of Welsh freaks in the olden days, who made their money failing to do plumbing jobs properly, for other freaks too stoned to care. It's called 'Loose Juice' because it rhymes....here goes.

pjcr12 screwed with this post 12-05-2010 at 07:00 AM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-17-2010, 04:55 PM   #674
pjcr12
Stercus accidit
 
pjcr12's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2008
Oddometer: 801
#2

pjcr12 screwed with this post 12-05-2010 at 07:00 AM
pjcr12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2010, 01:25 AM   #675
rightsideup
Get your motor running...
 
rightsideup's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Skelmorlie, Scotland
Oddometer: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjcr12
Used to do a lot of trail riding over Starbotton way and up to Yockenthwaite, then onwards upto Coniston for the mushrooms....happy daze.
Now there's a coincidence, the incident I mentioned involved riding from Starbotton to the pub in Kettlewell - not entirely sure why since the pub in Starbotton was fine and only 100 yards away.
Anyway, on arrival discovered that the Kettlewell pub kept a neurotic parrot in a cage at the bar, the parrot had pulled all its feathers out (apart from on its head since it couldn't reach) and was completely naked - this is not the type of thing I like to see when feeling unusual. Straight back on the bike and home to rest.
rightsideup is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Share

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

.
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


Times are GMT -7.   It's 07:29 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ADVrider 2011-2014