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Old 06-01-2010, 08:44 AM   #1
HickOnACrick OP
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Location: Utarded in Lubbuttock
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Wiso You Todd Dead, Wi Sofa King You Todd Dead

11 Utards hit the desert.

1 Utard hits a cow.

6 finish the ride.

All keys accounted for!

Teaser:

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Old 06-01-2010, 09:02 AM   #2
trackhead
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HickOnACrick
11 Utards hit the desert.

1 Utard hits a cow.


How many Utards hit the sheep?
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Old 06-01-2010, 10:52 AM   #3
The Walrus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trackhead
How many Utards hit the sheep?


and what about the Unicorn...............

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Old 06-01-2010, 11:31 AM   #4
Roostre
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Thumb Not a good start...

Well, I had a great day running with you guys down to Hite... unfortunately duties called and my leash was shortened.

Learned a great deal about the 690:

1. The headlight sucks ass and will be replaced before I ever ride at night again. My top speed from Saturday camp to Hite was about 30mph because I couldn't see chit. That road seemed to last forever.

2. Maybe you can carry too much gas.

3. That seat can, in fact, should be outlawed as a torture device and prohibited under some international convention.

4. It rocks!

I hit the highway headed for Hanksville at about 9 PM. Stopped there to refuel and get coffee. Called work to confirm that my leash was still shortened; it was.

Slabbed it into Wellington freezing my arse off. Bought some winter gloves and wrapped myself with newspaper and a garbage sack to make it over the summit. Was scared to death of hitting a deer or elk, so I let a few cars pass me on the way up out of Helper and then hung back where I could use their headlights and reactions to see the road better.

Made it home and crawled in bed about 3:00 A.M. and dreamed of riding through the most beautiful desert scenery all night.

Sure wish i could have stayed on with the group... next time.
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Old 06-01-2010, 12:38 PM   #5
Ryman
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I was the first down the trail the next morning. I was following your lines in the sand thinking, damn Roostre must have been hauling ass cuz they kept leaving the road.
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Old 06-01-2010, 12:44 PM   #6
trackhead
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Blah, blah, blah. Put up some pics and words already. Clearly I have nothing better to do at work at the moment.
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Old 06-01-2010, 01:08 PM   #7
Ryman
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Pics and Words

Not sure what the hell the title of the thread means, but I had an awsome time riding with you all!


Shitty Akra Pipe


Signs of life.


Angry Momma!
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Old 06-01-2010, 01:34 PM   #8
trackhead
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So you did go after the gosts and sheep then!
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Old 06-01-2010, 02:30 PM   #9
Ryman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trackhead
So you did go after the gosts and sheep then!
Let's just say I had my velcro riding gloves on!
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Old 06-01-2010, 03:11 PM   #10
HickOnACrick OP
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So for anyone that is confused by the title, just jot the title down on a piece of paper, then ask one of your coworkers to read it aloud in a group of people, including you...

Working right now, but I will add some words:

Blah, blah blah...



Trackhead and Pilo (Utards) did a route they dubbed the Scrambled Brains 640 ( http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=575061 ) and they were kind enough to share the beta. They were two men who spent two days riding mind-blowing dirt roads in the deserts of Utardia...and came back smelly.

We started out as 11 idiots with the intent of taking our time and completing the route in 3 days while adding some more dirt. All I can say is props to them for completing the whole thing in 2 days.

The Players:

GISKev: keeper of maps and ass-hair dreads - riding a Big Red Pig (BRP)
Ryman: reformed dinosaur hunter and lady killer - riding a KTM 690
Eric: shirtless wonder and Ryman's little bro - his first big ride on a KLR650
Commander51: desert racer and keeper of tools - riding a BRP
Harcus: keeper of everything, I mean everything - this guy carries it all - he was riding a BRP
Pluric: general smart ass who was flipping the KTM guys shit about the reliability of our bikes - what bikes made it to the truck, Bee-otch? - riding a KLX 250
Todd Squad: keeper of Pluric's leash and restraining orders - riding a KTM 520
Trailtwister: skinny white guy who makes synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats in his spare time - he was riding a 950 Adventure S
Roostre: proud new owner of a KTM 690 and matching saddle soars
BR Shooter: token foreigner from Brazil - riding an XR400 with old lady boobs for luggage
HickOnACrick: keeper of keys - riding a 950 Super Enduro, not very well at times.



The route included parts of the San Rafael Swell, Lake Powell, Montezuma Creek and Lockhart Basin. Mileage was over 700 including bits of slab here and there.

The others will need to chime in with pics, all I had with me was my helmet camera.
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HickOnACrick screwed with this post 06-02-2010 at 06:30 AM
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Old 06-01-2010, 03:53 PM   #11
pluric
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HickOnACrick
So for anyone that is confused by the title, just jot the title down on a piece of paper, then ask one of your coworkers to read it aloud in a group of people, including you...

.
At least get it right read Todd,

Eye m read Todd did. Eye m sofa king read Todd did.

I'm just glad I bought a red KLX so people thought it was a Honda
broke down on the side of the road. Nothing wrong with eating a
little Orange crow.

Took it to a dealer today. I didn't get that excited about tearing into it.

Will post some pics later.
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Old 06-01-2010, 04:11 PM   #12
HickOnACrick OP
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Ryman, Eric, GISKev, Commander 51 and I arrived a day early and spent the afternoon riding around - about 60 miles of dirt to warm the cockles of our cockles.

A windy night spent at a campsite waiting for the pussies, er, I mean the other Utards to wake up from their hotels and beds to join us. Plan was to have kickstands up by 8AM, but with 11 riders, we were lucky to find our way out of the campsite by 9:30.

These photos are from the waning light on day one of the ride. We have left Hanksville, UT and are on our way to Hite for gas. By this time of the day, Harcus' bike has had a complete meltdown. 2 rear flats and a custom windscreen thingy that rattled off after 4 years of flogging.

4 hours behind "schedule" on the first day.
Long shadows toward the end of a long day:



Roostre working the shadows:


Fast riding and tired bones


We used the system of having a "sweeper" - one of the more skilled riders/mechanics would stay in the back eating dust and trying to keep the sheep moving. Roostre spent much of the first day as sweeper. This is what happens when you let a roostre out of the pen:




I could have ridden this shit all day:


We had one last climb out of this basin, and we were all getting a little sloppy. We had just changed the 2nd rear on Harcus' BRP, Roostre had crashed kinda hard on a blind off-camber ball-bearing turn, I had taken a couple dirt naps, Harcus was in the process of rebuilding his bike on the trail, and GISKev had finally fashioned a bra for BR Shooter's old woman boobs.

We were nowhere near our goal for the day, but with 11 people and mechanical issues, it had been a trial.

We camped for the night on a beautiful bluff overlooking a red-rock basin. Roostre continued on for another 40 miles of dirt, then slabbed all the way back to SLC. Poor bastard spent something like 19 hours on the pegs with a HUGE backpack...
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Old 06-01-2010, 05:23 PM   #13
trackhead
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HickOnACrick
4 hours behind "schedule" on the first day.
Is there any multi-day moto ride that isn't "4 hours" or 80 miles behind schedule at the end of the day? It seems I always think riding whatever route seems like it should go quick and easy when sitting behind the computer mapping it out, but when you finally start riding, flatting, and urinating, it always ends up "4 hours behind schedule".

More pics!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-01-2010, 05:30 PM   #14
HickOnACrick OP
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trackhead
Is there any multi-day moto ride that isn't "4 hours" or 80 miles behind schedule at the end of the day? It seems I always think riding whatever route seems like it should go quick and easy when sitting behind the computer mapping it out, but when you finally start riding, flatting, and urinating, it always ends up "4 hours behind schedule".

More pics!!!!!!!!!
You're a sadistic bastard for sending us down that sandy wash (red canyon...I think).

By the way, I think we have enough links to try the Trackhead/Utarded 1500 - whattaya think? 6-7 days in September?

Some other Utards need to post pics, mine are pretty limited.
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Old 06-01-2010, 06:23 PM   #15
pluric
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HickOnACrick
You're a sadistic bastard for sending us down that sandy wash (red canyon...I think).

By the way, I think we have enough links to try the Trackhead/Utarded 1500 - whattaya think? 6-7 days in September?

Some other Utards need to post pics, mine are pretty limited.
+1.

That sucked.



Pics when I get home and find my camera.
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