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Old 10-08-2010, 06:06 PM   #61
Hayduke
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Excellent.
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Old 10-08-2010, 06:43 PM   #62
NSFW
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Originally Posted by BiggieFalls
Airborndad is still splicing the trailer together. He had to cut it up in the middle of Trona Wildrose road. And you saw the best sneak preview on SpotWalla.
i already forgot...
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Old 10-08-2010, 08:37 PM   #63
Cpt. Ron
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Cpt. Ron, Day 2

Prologue: Sorry there is only one picture for this section. Youíll see why.

God I slept like shit. Didnít need no stinkiní alarm either. Doesnítí matter that I was exhausted, wore out and stinky. Maybe it was XRJohnny speaking eloquently about his race director (I donít have a race director, I had to do all the pre-work myself). Maybe a little too much beer. Maybe a little too much wrenching to get my tire/wheel situation ready for the next day. Maybe too much time at the computer again looking at the route. Regardless, gotta get up. There are dead dinosaurs to burn, rubber to fling and dust to be made.

Thankfully, I pretty much fully prepped the night before. Or at least I thought I did. I thought I had an early run to the gas station to get the ďstart lineĒ. Not only gas, but I needed to fill my water bladder. Oh, and then my pump needed to be borrowed againÖ.I see the karma account growingÖ.please please pleaseÖ.

And there they go. Holy crap. Iím one of the last off the line. Then I realized I forgot to insert my earplugs. This is not a good start. This was NOT part of my Master Plan. After that, Iím truly one of the last to go, behind Johnny5 and in front of one other. I sure hope the wind is blowing the right way, Ďcause I know there is a lot of miles to cover on a power line roads at the get-go. If the dust is blown away, I may be able to catch some people. At the hillclimb, itís all for naught.

Fack. Here I am again at a technical section with a full load of fuel. Lucky for me the video of the debacle doesnít show my first attempt to follow the trail. I look like a hero clearing the obstacle, honking my horn as I go. Now the reality. After the first attempt, Iím stuck about 15 feet from the top, about the same as BrokenSpoke. Hello again. Heís yelling at me, ďYou help me, Iíll help you!Ē ďWhat!?Ē ďYou help meÖ..Ē Oh, I see. I grab his front Tugger strap, and we angle his bike to the top. And to his word, we go back for my bike. No joy. Where his light KTM skips on top of the loose rocks and climbs, mine digs a trench like a marine holding a line. This ainít no Iwo Jima, but it is a battle head to be conquered. Heís asking for a strap. No, not that kind. A TOW strap you dingbat. Anyway, I say yes, I have one. No I wonít use it. Too much work. So down I go to the bottom. I turn, aim straight up the hill this time (like yzlver and crawdaddy) and take off. I donít care about the rocks, bumps and bushes. The XR is made for this stuff. I grab second gear, lean back, roll on the throttle and hit the horn. Those of you on the hill best get out of my way, Ďcause I ainít stopping this time. Watch the video. Easy peasy. And lo and behold, BrokenSpoke is still there at the top, handing me the toolpack I left after helping him. Right on, dude! Of course, he still took off before me, but he earned it.

Powerline roads are easy, right? They go straight, are usually smooth and you can normally haul ass. And these prove to be no different. But then I notice my MoJavi Bags are loose. And Iím going at speed. Stopping at this point is NOT part of my Master Plan. Can I ever get this day together? Fine, it needs to be done. Since Iím less than 20 miles into today, thereís no need for food or anything else. So I glance behind and in front of me, a mile or so in each direction, see no dust clouds, and stop. I quickly re-attach the bag, and take off. Didnít even kill the engine (re-starting takes energy, right?).

Now Iím fired up. Iím losing sight of the fact that position is different than time. Iím getting on the gas and really rolling now. Iím not focused and Iím not riding smart. It's passed sunrise, yet I'm still seeing red? It is just a powerline road, right? And the washout across the road was there to remind me otherwise. I thought I hit hard yesterday. This was a g-out with a washout at the bottom. This is gonna REALLY hurt. No time to scrub speed, and too fast to accelerate a wheelie. Just lean back, pre-load, and hit the gas. I hit hard. Yup, this DOSE hurt. We bounced. This time I swear I chopperized the bike. Eat this Pauly Senior and Junior. I thought the landing after the bounce would have the forks snapping off the frame and the wheels collapsing. I seriously thought I was done, and I havenít even finished crashing yet. But yet the bike is still rolling. My hands and wrists still work. Apparently, my jaw needs more damping since my teeth kept slamming into themselves. I donít stop, but I do slow and take a scan of the bike and me. Motor works. Wheels turn. Brakes work. Everything still onboard. How in the hell did I just get away with that?

Fine, Iíll slow down to my visual acuity. Here's your sign....

Where were we? Oh thatís right, I still have 200+ miles of a rally to ride. This black thing on the handlebars is telling me that a turn is coming up (approximately 12 miles after getting on the powerline road, according to my notes). As I slow for the right turn, I see a dust cloud ahead of me going straight. Going the wrong direction. Fine by me. Iíll take any pass I can get at this time. And then my pump is needed again. As I wait, RAZR pulls up and is having clutch problems (and not for the first time I find out later). Then more riders come by. The ants in my pants are doing a dance all rightÖ..By the time the pump is back in my gear, I believe itís BrokenSpoke who has returned from his wayward path (musicians are like that). We follow each other southeast and catch some of the others who missed the turn onto the nasty rocky two-track. Between my terrible start, almost-crash and loaning out my pump, Iím really fired up. Iíve got two guys in front of me, and theyíre not going at my fired up pace. Itís like Iím back at a Cross Country race at home in Prairie City. The rocks are there, but the bike is heavy and hard to divert at speed. Itís slightly dusty, but I donít care. I focus on the guy in front of me and roll on the gas. Standing on the pegs, bouncing off of rocks, and looking ahead of him, I slowly catch him. I keep my eyes on him, the gps, and the path in front of him. Using the gps, Iím actually anticipating where the turns are before we get there. Oh, and bouncing over rocks the whole time. But this is stuff I train in. I catch and pass the two guys in front of me and have free reign. Out here on the mesa, the track doesnít match the roads, so some ďinterpretationĒ is needed. Iím on the gas and not caring. Iíve got miles to go and Iím on fire. I remember the maps and have an idea of where to go, and the gps confirms it. As we head downhill to the checkpoint just west of Mesquite, I get passed back by Broken Spoke. I let out a Wooo Whooo! which kind of startles him and he slows, so we roll in together. I loved it. That was a great set of trail, and he caught me good. Going through Mesquite, he and Rev Kiecker pass me at a stop light and mention my Ďslightlyí bent front rim. Yeah, I know. Itís good to 65. After that, itís a bit of a handful.
I was hoping theyíd stop for gas, but alas. The Plan will have to do. As we went through town, a BLM truck pulled a U-turn and followed us. Uh oh. Donít stop now. I wave my hand across my handlebars and say, ďThese arenít the droids youíre looking forĒ.

Going through the east side of town, I pass another checkpoint. They tell me to take it easy, thereís only five in front of me. What!? Only five? How did I pull that off? I hit the dirt again and immediately my heart sinks. I hate whoops. But hey, at least theyíre sand. Theyíre soft when you faceplant, right Rev Kiecker/Hilslamer? I just rolled them. I caught up to Rev Kiecker soon after his get-off, but BrokenSpoke disappeared, skipping merrily along...

Some more mesa/loose/climbing then downhill stuff, and we hit Littlefield. Northbound and down, loaded up Iím truckiníÖÖOK, so Iím on an XR and not a Trans Am. And going 65 (after adhering to the school speed limit in town) isnít so much truckiní. But I am still moving. And those manning the checkpoint show real concern for my front wheel. No bother, it holds air and I can move. Step aside. As I approached, I saw two bikes leaving the checkpoint. BrokenSpoke had caught someone, but whom?. Doesn't matter for now, I wonít see them for miles. Not until BrokenSpoke almost tosses it where Hilslamer will take his Ďshortcutí later in the day. After passing the scene of his almost toss off (remember, musicians are like that), I catch up to him. As he waves me forward, he confirms that it was his tire tracks off the trail. It sure must have shook him up good to slow him down like that, because I surely didnít speed up. With Rev Kiekcer and BrokenSpoke behind me now, according the checkpoint in Mesquite, that means thereís only three in front of me now. Is this really happening?

The next bike I saw I never identified at the time. But I got close. Come to find out, those guys on girlie bikes are sketchy sons-of-bitches, and easily scared off. He must have stopped to take a leak or change a tampon or something, Ďcause I surely wasnít riding faster than her....um him. I must have been coming from upwind, since once he caught scent of my approach, he was off faster than a prom dress in a Country Squire station wagon (and heís old enough to know what that isÖ). Fine, Iíll wait until the gas stop in EnterpriseÖ.Iíve got the range. Please donít be bitter.

From here, it was lonely. A little more dirt to the next checkpoint at the highway (and more concern for my wheel), then asphalt north through Gunlock. I kept the pace sane through here and never attracted attention. The dirt north of the lakes was easy going, and soon enough we were back on asphalt west of Enterprise. Time to put The Plan into motion. I havenít been off the bike since loaning out my pump long before Mesquite. How many miles ago was that? Doesnít matter. Just keep riding. Iím on a straight section when I catch and pass some guys like theyíre standing still. OK, they WERE standing still. And I was cruising the speed limit through Enterprise as they were getting gas. But I did pass them. Works for me. How many were there?

South out of Enterprise on more asphalt, then we hit more dirt roads going east. Hereís where I really wick it up. If they want my ass, theyíre going to have to eat dust to get it. Wind be still now, please. Now THIS is stuff Iím good atÖwide fast dirt roads. Brake slides, powerslides, Iím using it all. I don't care, I have a new tire waiting for me in Brian Head. Iím getting barn brain. I figure Iím down to my last two hours of riding. Wow, that isnít so bad (when was the last time you said that on a dirt ride?).

Before I know it, Iím back on the highway, heading east towards Cedar City. Itís a long boring slog. I see a bike ahead and slowly creep up on him (headlight off). Crap, just a local. So much for screwing with a Ďcompetitorí. Having the forethought to think of two days from now, I decide to top off in Cedar City so I can make it back out of the hills with enough fuel for day 3. This is my record stop. Fuel AND food in less than 3 minutes. Iím constantly on the lookout for other riders, but none appear. Iím stuffing fig newtons into my helmet, crumbs falling everywhere, along with a piece of homemade beef jerky. I go so far as to bite my cheek in the process. Son of a biscuit. I anxiously cruise through town at the limit, constantly on vigil. Why are these lights so long? Where are they? Finally heading north out of town, getting past the last blue-hair going 10-under, I crank it up one more time. I reach the turn and the checkpoint, just where they should be. As I roll up, I ask with amazing chip in my voice, ďHow am I doing?Ē Youíre the first one through.


You have GOT to be shitting me. ďNope, Iíve been here an hour. Youíre the first one through.Ē

Holy Shitballs! No really. Holy Shitballs!

On the jeep section through here, my bike runs weird, the front wheel all of a sudden feels funny, and I canít navigate worth shit. Theyíre breathing down my neck. Theyíre mocking me. Just waiting for me to screw up. I know it. Or am I just imagining it? Fack it, Ron. Just ride. Youíve done this all day, just a little bit more. Over the mountains, and through the woods, we roll across the flatlands to the last hill climb into Brian Head. Two more checkpoints, after the long straight and highway undercrossing, and Iím on my own to the finish. Holy Shitballs, Iím first. Iím really first. And can you believe, once in the aspens, I actually stop to take pictures. I just can't help it. After the desert, this is amazing. But the best pic is while rolling. How fitting.



A few more navigation challenges through the trees and ski lifts west of Brian Head, and I pop out on the highway just south of town. I turn left, lope into town, and pass Rob going the other way. Lewis, whatís goiní onnnn tonight?

Now this is a high you canít buy. Holy Shitballs!
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Sack-O-Tomato, CA
'05.5 950 Adventure S "Bad Mutha F@&ker"
'04 R1150RTP "cop motor, cop suspension.."
'00 XR650R Dual Sport "Lil' Mule"
'75 RL250
'01 TTR90
'01 PW50
Conti TKC80 tire swing

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"Without the possibility of death, adventure is not possible"--Reinhold Messner
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:01 PM   #64
herrhelmet
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Holy shitballs..

That was a good read. Way to go.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:05 PM   #65
Rev Kiecker
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cpt. Ron
Now this is a high you canít buy. Holy Shitballs!
Can't wait for the rest....this is golden.
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Old 10-08-2010, 09:20 PM   #66
RAZR
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Originally Posted by h8chains
nice artwork!

any trailers or sneak preview?............





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Old 10-08-2010, 09:55 PM   #67
BiggieFalls
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RAZR


It's good every time I watch it. When can we get the next episode?
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:11 PM   #68
BiggieFalls
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cpt. Ron
Oh, and then my pump needed to be borrowed againÖ.
Another great report Ron. Maybe that's why you're the captain.


I'm just curious...when everyone was prepping for this ride, how many guys decided that taking a pump was a bad idea? Isn't that one of the things you have on every ride? Ok, I've got an axle wrench. I've got tire irons. I've got tubes. I won't need a pump. Someone will come by and I'll just borrow theirs.

I'm kind of wondering if it is just a sneeky way of not letting the other guy get too far ahead.

You did the right thing and still made it to the bar first. Good on you.
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:28 PM   #69
Cpt. Ron
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BiggieFalls
Another great report Ron. Maybe that's why you're the captain.


I'm just curious...when everyone was prepping for this ride, how many guys decided that taking a pump was a bad idea? Isn't that one of the things you have on every ride? Ok, I've got an axle wrench. I've got tire irons. I've got tubes. I won't need a pump. Someone will come by and I'll just borrow theirs.

I'm kind of wondering if it is just a sneeky way of not letting the other guy get too far ahead.

You did the right thing and still made it to the bar first. Good on you.
Some had compressors, some had CO2, others pumps. To each there own. At least one of the pair I helped had a pump. But either it was ineffective or didn't work at all. I don't really know. The first time I helped them, the flat owner swore my pump didn't work either. Bullshit. I tested it before the trip, easily 130psi. Turns out his spare inner tube was torn. Swap in another new tube, and my pump worked just fine. Don't know about their own. But I don't believe it was an effort to slow me down, since they were clearly faster than me. If they had the working tools, they could have been back on the trail before I even got there.

This is a perfect case of testing your equipment beforehand. I'm lucky and glad I did. My normal spare pump didn't work when I tested it the day before departure. Don't know why, don't care. I made one work, though. And I personally needed it once on the trail, and twice at camp. I'll be damned sure it works before the next little trail ride I take.

And for the record, there were lots of tire problems on day 1, some on day 2. I think many people learned the lesson to up the pressures a bit and save the pinch flats (others had rim strip problems). Day 3 and 4 still saw quite a few flats (due to rocks and speed after the fast flat sections, I believe). Running 20 psi in the front of the XR sure helped Baja Joe and I on the final day. Traction sucked on the marbley stuff, but the time lost there sure made up for the time saved fixing a flat.
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Sack-O-Tomato, CA
'05.5 950 Adventure S "Bad Mutha F@&ker"
'04 R1150RTP "cop motor, cop suspension.."
'00 XR650R Dual Sport "Lil' Mule"
'75 RL250
'01 TTR90
'01 PW50
Conti TKC80 tire swing

"I don't know what you do, but I know what I do, and I don't do that." --Uncle Doug, R.I.P.

"Without the possibility of death, adventure is not possible"--Reinhold Messner
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Old 10-08-2010, 10:38 PM   #70
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Kings of the Rob

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Old 10-08-2010, 11:22 PM   #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RAZR
Notice Rob's technique at 0:45, where he lubricates the hole with his tongue to get the nectar to flow more smoothly.
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Old 10-09-2010, 07:41 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RAZR




Was that Guttermouth, or DI?

Did you see how that girl at the desk looked at me like she wanted me

That's some funny shit!

notmybikemodelname screwed with this post 10-09-2010 at 08:33 AM
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Old 10-09-2010, 10:01 AM   #73
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Old 10-09-2010, 11:00 AM   #74
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Very nice

Nice report Ron

No need for pictures when you can narrate like that.

You're actually helping me remember parts that had already turned into one big throttle twisting blur.

Can't wait for the next installment.
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Old 10-09-2010, 11:05 AM   #75
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Talking

RAZR,
Nice vid of DA MAN



Oh yeah, the riding vid was dope too, I hope theres more coming
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