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Old 04-07-2011, 08:37 PM   #31
Roostre
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Laugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryman View Post

At the end of the pavement we all almost met our maker in one pile of tangled up tard. We were hauling ass because the newly paved road was so smooth and nice. I noticed the signs warning of the pavement ending in Spanish. I don't speak a word of Spanish, but I understood, the pavement was about to end. What the signs didn't explain was that the pavement would end, and very shortly after there would be a sharp decline with a concrete wall waiting to chuck your worthless corpse onto a bunch of re bar sticking up in the air. I slammed on the skids and I think I tasted my asshole as it came up through my throat! Luckily I wasn't dosing when this happened and I was able to get the bike stopped. I turned around to see hick and Erock both stopped right behind me all three of us with holy shit looks on our faces. Hick was laughing uncontrollably like something funny had happened! WTF! That was NOT funny! Oh well Ride on! As we pulled around the death trap and onto the "graded" road I noticed a pack of about 20 coyotes looking VERY disappointed at missing an afternoon snack! One of them chased us for a while and then gave up. F U Coyotes.....We are NOT dinner!


I know that exact spot!! We didn't quite taste any colonary delights, but it sure was a huge surprise to go from Mexican Superhighway to dirt wall in 1.3 seconds...

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Old 04-08-2011, 12:05 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roostre View Post


I know that exact spot!! We didn't quite taste any colonary delights, but it sure was a huge surprise to go from Mexican Superhighway to dirt wall in 1.3 seconds...

It's actually a different spot now.....they're making progress on the pavement south of Puertocitas....In November, that was the spot the trophy truck pre-runner biffed.......



Hint hint.......get some stories and pics posted you slackers......and hicksters......
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:01 PM   #33
HickOnACrick
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Gotta pay to play

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Old 04-08-2011, 07:39 PM   #34
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Gotta pay to play

Don't you need a neck brace & helmet for that?
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Old 04-08-2011, 07:55 PM   #35
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Gotta pay to play

Peg tube?
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Old 04-08-2011, 08:30 PM   #36
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Day 2 Gonzaga-San Francisquito

Another 300+ mile day, only this time over 100 miles of kick ass wash riding. When I think back on all the days in my life I have spent riding my motor bike, this is by far the most fun I have ever had. This day was intense, radical fun, desert riding. At times during the day I was on a totally complete natural high, and at other times I wasn't sure I would survive the total radness of Baja.

I have a few great shots to share and a lot of blah blah blah to go with it.

The morning scene at Gonzaga Bay.


Apparently Utards get up earlier than PEMEX attendants, so we had to wait around for a while to get fuel. We didn't mind.

Now is probably a good time to talk about puppy porno. This explanation is for those inmates who aren't familiar with our little Utard asylum. I could crack jokes about getting humped by stray dogs all day and the tards would fall over laughing, but those of you outside Utardia may need a little help.

There is this long standing joke among the tards that goes something like, who's ever bike breaks down on a long ride gets left on the side of the road to be sexually accosted by stray dogs. I know it's crass and lame and not funny,(at least that's what my wife would say) but to a Utard there is just something hilarious about the thought of your buddy getting humped by a stray dog.

Anyway at this point we had not been subject to a full on puppy orgy, but the XR was definitely threatening to turn our trip into a Ron Jeremy in the dog pound scene.

The tension was building and the local canines seemed to be sensing it. This guy at the Gonzaga gas station was really wanting a piece of my leg!
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Old 04-09-2011, 08:32 AM   #37
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Heading south out of Ganzaga. I couldn't get over all the cool boulders. They are everywhere in Baja.
IMG_2363

Coco's Corner. I guess there is this crusty guy with no legs who lives out here and makes a living providing shade and refrescos to travelers passing through. We stopped for a while and had some road sodas and shot the shit with Coco's buddy. I think Coco was in La Paz getting some bone removed from his leg. He gave us cold drinks, music, and shade. We gave him trail mix and cigarettes.
IMG_2364

IMG_2365
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Old 04-09-2011, 09:44 AM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trackhead View Post
Peg tube?
UAC/UVC ...... and who trimmed that cord ....

C'mon hickster.....get with the RR program....everybody has seen medical pron....
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Everbody's preachin' at me that we all wanna git to heaven, trouble is, nobody wants to die to git there.-BB King
Reality is what does not go away when you stop believing in it. -Philip K Dick
I wanna be skinny, but my ass is too big. - Charles Barkley
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
Experience is what keeps a man who makes the same mistake twice from admitting it the third time around.
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Old 04-09-2011, 02:13 PM   #39
HickOnACrick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infidel View Post
UAC/UVC ...... and who trimmed that cord ....

C'mon hickster.....get with the RR program....everybody has seen medical pron....
Actually, chest tube. I am one sick sum bitch. To me there is little in life as fulfilling as entering the thoracic cavity and getting a whoosh of air...or even warm liquid. Like a golden shower of pleural fluid!

I need a moment to be alone.
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Old 04-09-2011, 04:38 PM   #40
The Walrus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HickOnACrick View Post
Actually, chest tube. I am one sick sum bitch. To me there is little in life as fulfilling as entering the thoracic cavity and getting a whoosh of air...or even warm liquid. Like a golden shower of pleural fluid!

I need a moment to be alone.

Blue babies make the smartest babies.......

so I'll post a BajaCoco pic to keep the thread alive.........



and not nearly as disgusting as the mesh that got left on our thread......
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Everbody's preachin' at me that we all wanna git to heaven, trouble is, nobody wants to die to git there.-BB King
Reality is what does not go away when you stop believing in it. -Philip K Dick
I wanna be skinny, but my ass is too big. - Charles Barkley
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. - Mae West
Experience is what keeps a man who makes the same mistake twice from admitting it the third time around.
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Old 04-09-2011, 05:32 PM   #41
Ryman OP
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Calamajue Wash

After hick got done sniffing dusty panties at Coco's, we set the compass towards Calamajue wash. They should have called this HellaFuckinFun wash because that's exactly what it is. Plus it's easier to spell. This is totally the kind of riding that makes me pop. Water, sand, rocks, whoops.......totally freakin awsome! There is nothing like taking huge ass burmed out sand corners in fourth gear. The only thing I didn't enjoy was taking a mouth full of brackish water during a giant splash wheelie. YUCK!







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Old 04-09-2011, 07:48 PM   #42
commander51
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Nice ride report guys, calamajue wash and the section out to the highway is some fun ass riding. That was the last leg of my 336 miles bk1 stint.
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Old 04-09-2011, 11:24 PM   #43
HickOnACrick
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Gonzaga and Calamajue Wash

Awoke early again. Gorgeous sunrise.





We got fueled up, then caught air on the perfect floater jump set up in front of the restaurant. Using an old beer can as a funnel.


Pretty uneventful ride to CoCo's. CoCo is still in the hospital, but Javier took care of us. I wandered around and took some artsy fartys pics.

















Some shots of the BRP. Trackhead was kind enough to sort out the bike for me long distance. I would send him parts, and he would add them on. Ryman did the same once he had her. The day before we left, Ry called and said the light wasn't going to work with the stabilizer. We brainstormed over the phone, and a few text-messages later, I came up with this solution:


Certainly not perfect, but functional, nonetheless.





Soon we were riding again:



Calamajue Wash was fucking brilliant:
















The road from the wash to the highway was more fun than an octopus in your jock strap.






I have some video of the wash that I need to edit, then I will post it up here.

We got out of the wash, rode some highway for a while, then hit another really long wash.

La porcina roja was running great, but she would not start without a prenuptial agreement and some serious begging. At one point, I dumped her in some sand, broke my camera, then spent at least 15 minutes trying to get her started again. As the sand got deeper, the front wheel would just begin plowing at times and kill the engine. These shots were all taken in places where I was performing foreplay on la porcina roja, trying to get her to start.







This was the last time I killed the bike. The sun had set and we were racing to get out of this last wash and onto the maintained road to San Fransisquito.


This is the day that Erock began showing his true self. His riding was improving every day, but if there was a single large rock in the road, he would gravitate toward it like a fat chick to a buffet. We had to explain target fixation to him...after the third or fourth rock he hit

Erock also dubbed the alternate nickname of E-start, because as the day grew longer, my hamstrings grew weaker. The last two times I needed to restart the BRP, Erock's leg was able to do what mine could no longer accomplish...therefore, he became my Estart!

We eventually reached the maintained road, and I got to see if my light worked


We made it into San Fransisquito, but not before we had another adventure or two, one of which involved me arguing in Spanish (Badly) with armed men .
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Old 04-09-2011, 11:26 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infidel View Post
Blue babies make the smartest babies.......

so I'll post a BajaCoco pic to keep the thread alive.........



and not nearly as disgusting as the mesh that got left on our thread......


We were there not too much before you guys and I saw the top right dainties and they still looked pretty "fresh". Figured whoever left them couldn't be that far ahead. It kept us motivated going through Frog Canyon. haha.

I was somewhat unhappy when we returned two weeks later and they still looked in good shape..
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:01 AM   #45
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La Porcina Roja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you get the tattoo?
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