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Old 09-07-2011, 06:47 AM   #46
Mr Head
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You do know what us true Starbuck's GSAdv'rs are wonder?

When do you get to Starbucks? A real gnarly Starbuck's GS adventurer wouldn't, nay couldn't ever wander off into the weeds very far from an espresso machine.


Love the report.
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Old 09-07-2011, 08:59 AM   #47
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Let the hilarity continue!
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:45 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Head View Post
You do know what us true Starbuck's GSAdv'rs are wonder?
When do you get to Starbucks? A real gnarly Starbuck's GS adventurer wouldn't, nay couldn't ever wander off into the weeds very far from an espresso machine.
Love the report.
My motorcycles have never been parked at a Starbucks, sir. I don't even drink coffee. I drink beer, son.
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Old 09-08-2011, 03:52 AM   #49
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Day 7
Grand Teton to Steamboat Springs, CO
I don't know how many miles

So, I mentioned that fever:



After 3 long highway days, followed by 3 long days of adventure - I was kinda cooked. My planned route for today was gonna take me across some long stretches of wide-open, eventually leading to Rawlins. This was gonna be an all-day 10-12 hour affair. I wasn't feelin' it. I was longing for Colorado, and the alpine scenery that I knew awaited me there. So I worked on a road route to Rawlins that would have me there by lunchtime. Doing this would allow me more time to ride in Colorado before I had to head home. That mornings route was perfect, with clear blue skies. Sweeping mountain roads, with scenery reminiscent of Canyonlands and Zion. It turned out to be the ideal way to recharge my batteries. No pictures of this, because is is not sanctioned ADV CDR travel. As planned, I rolled into Rawlins around lunchtime. But the clouds to the south weren't looking too inviting:



My phone was being an as*hole, and wouldn't display weather maps. I made a call to my wife to have her check the maps online, and there were just a few rain spots here and there. I decided what-the-fu*k, I'll just give it a go, and we will see what happens. Ummm, yeah ... about that. Hindsight is 20/20 they say.



As I gained elevation and began heading south, the stormy weather kept creeping around me, but I was doing OK at avoiding all but a few sprinkles here and there. I knew in the back of my mind that I was screwed. Mountain weather in the afternoon is always sketchy when the skies are like this. But I continued on, constantly second guessing whether or not I should still be venturing forward by myself:



You know you are stupid when all of the locals and road workers are all hauling ass the opposite direction that you are going.





Still a little snow way up here:



Aspen Alley. You see it in pictures, but it really is inspiring in person. Is it me, or are the skies looking better? Sure they are!



Shortly after going thru Aspen Alley, you intersect a paved road. You are on the top of a ridge, facing south, with your first good look at the terrain you are heading into. It became very, very clear at this point that I was fu*ked, way super fu*ked. I just rode headfirst into a gigantic mountain storm, full of black menacing clouds, pissing rain, and near continuous bolts of wirey, spooky lightning. The sky was so low it seemed as though I could reach up and touch the black, heavy clouds. I had about 2 minutes to decide what the hell to do.

I could see that it looked slightly better to the west. I tapped the screen of my GPS to see where I was in the big picture. Heading west seemed the better option, and right as I had that thought - a bolt of lightning shot across the road a few hundred yards to the east. Ummm, west it is! It immediatley started pouring an icy cold rain. My display read 48 degrees >> it was 83 when I left Rawlins. I rode as fast as the soggy road conditions would let me, watching the lightning ripping across the sky ahead of me and in my mirrors.

Think I'm exaggerating? After traveling thru Savery (actually quite unsavory, it was just a few empty buildings at an intersection) I pulled over during a brief clear, sunny break. There are mountains in the distance here. You just can't see them through the Black Death. Goddamn I'm an idiot. And lucky:



So, I rode the rest of the way to Steamboat Springs in a continuous, cold douche-o-rama. I got a room at the Holiday Inn, and drank 873 Fat Tire Ales.



Disclaimer: Sorry for the lack of humor in this post. It was a "chill on the road" morning, followed by the scariest time I'm ever been on a bike. I felt very mortal that afternoon. Not a whole lot of picture taking.
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Old 09-08-2011, 04:01 AM   #50
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Yes ladies and gentlemen, your lowly Zumo will route you on the CDR. But first, you must learn to outsmart it.

A Zumo assumes that:

a. You have no sense of direction
b. You have no common sense
c. You don't like venturing off the beaten path
d. You wear leather chaps and have tassels on your bike

If any of these statements apply to you, well .....

Here's how you do it.

1. Open Cannonshot's or someone elses tracks in Mapsource.
2. Use the Route tool to 'trace' over the tracks. You MUST place vias on every intersection, and include extra vias on long sections of dirt roads.
3. I made 300 mile (ish) sections of about 200 vias. Worked fantastic. Save them as seperate routes in one file.
4. Turn off all avoidances in your Zumo, and set it to "Shortest Route." Turn "Route Recalculation" OFF.
5. Load your shit.
6. Import the routes.
7. Open a route, BUT before you hit GO!, hit 'Edit' and recalculate to "Shortest Route" Redundant, but necessary.
8. Zoom in and compare it to your Mapsource route. Add waypoints/vias in MS as needed to get it to 'stick' to where you want to go.
9. Repeat 5,6,7,8 as needed.
10. Ride on.

Middle of nowhere:



Zumo doing it's job:



Notes:

A. Don't forget to add in all of Cannonshot's wayoints to your unit. Very helpful info along the way.

B. There will be a 2-3 times where you leave the purple line because the Zumo plots the 'road' different than reality on the ground. Don't freak (see a & b above.) Just touch the screen to see the bird's eye view, and just make sure your are heading in the general direction as you ride. You will be back on the purple line soon. This is adventure, remember?

C. By saving them in a group, if you need to reload any of them for some reason on the ride, just go back to "import data" and reload them. You might have to do this for weather, gas, route corruption, etc. That way you can go back to 'road/civilization' mode for a bit, and then return to fun mode. Think of it as a backup.

D. This way, you have a unit that will route you on remote roads, as well as help you route to civilization type places within your trip. i.e. An address, hotel, mexican food, etc. Kind of the best of both worlds. BTW ... I did have an Oregon with the tracks loaded just in case I was wrong about my Zumo. I never needed it.
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Old 09-09-2011, 09:41 PM   #51
MrLebowski
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"what a cheeseburger looks like before it hatches"

That shit had me laughing.
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Old 09-09-2011, 11:11 PM   #52
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how about Cannonshot taking you along on his next epic blast. Kinda like the ADV Smothers Brothers.......
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Old 09-11-2011, 12:01 PM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IceCreamSoldier View Post
how about Cannonshot taking you along on his next epic blast. Kinda like the ADV Smothers Brothers.......
Ha Ha! I like that idea!
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Old 09-11-2011, 01:48 PM   #54
Jochen
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You sir crack me up!

Love it
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Old 09-11-2011, 01:59 PM   #55
Pantah
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Sheesh...you bailed on the best section...
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Old 09-12-2011, 08:49 AM   #56
Rainshadow
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Wait...

are we done? Seems like kind of a cliffhanger.

More please.
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Old 09-13-2011, 06:54 AM   #57
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Just been busy. I got a few more tricks up my sleeve though.....
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Old 09-13-2011, 06:14 PM   #58
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Day 8
Steamboat Springs south over Boreas Pass, then out to Fort Morgan, CO
190 Miles of CDR, 150 Paved

This day was my last day on the CDR, as I had to get back to work goddammit. But before I forget, I gotta tell you about the previous night. Like I said, I crashed at the Holiday Inn, and had 1,987 Fat Tire Ales in their bar along with dinner. At some point in the evening, these 2 girls were getting pretty 'friendly' with one another. I tried not to stare, but it was pretty hard not to. You see, I think these 2 ladies had some rather serious affection for each other, and the liquor was raging up their libido a bit. Things were going overboard, and I took this hi-res photo of the action. It's a big file, so give it a minute to load all the way:



Knowing that the afternoon weather was supposed to be a repeat of the day before, I headed out right at dawn. It was about a 9.8 on the foggy scale, out of a possible 10. I was friggin' near impossible to navigate the myriad of turns south of Steamboat like this. The photos looked crappy, but here is a simulation:



The ride to Dillon was absolutely boner-riffic. I was happy I skipped a bit to be able to ride this stuff. Slower, more technical riding was a blessing after all of the wide open blasting I had been doing. There were a few 'slightly damp' spots from the previous rainstorms. FWIW, Heidenau K60s took all of the changing conditions of this ride in stride:







There wasn't even a lake here the day before. That's how hard it rained yesterday:













Part of the route has been rerouted very recently. You hit this gate, with a cruddy map on it. Just turn around and go back to the paved road. Take a left on the paved road, and then take the first left onto the next forest road. Immediately turn left again on the side road marked "Logging Operations." You can't screw up from there, and you will eventually end up back on the original route.



Oh, and don't be a retard like me. I rode down to the sign to read it. Now I was stopped headfirst on a muddy downhill facing that gate. I said bad words while getting piggy to face the other way. You were warned.





It was unnerving riding through here by myself. I wasn't sure if i was going the right way, and there were no other tracks through here. The rain had washed them all away. You are heading deeper and deeper into what looks like someones private land, with just cattle footprints on the road ahead of you. There were some great decents and climbs through here. And the cattle! They were so many of them blocking the road. You had to creep up to them and honk your horn to get their lazy asses up! Then, they would just walk along with you, as if you were herding them. They were so close that I bumped them with my bar ends a few times. It was surreal. I was bumper to bumper in car traffic just a few days prior in Chicago - - and now I'm bumping cattle in a different traffic jam. What an amazing trip.





During a slow, muddy climb I noticed that my bike was smelling not-so-good. It smelled like burning electrical wires. Sh*t. I was creeped out by taking such a new bike on such a long trip, and now I was way out there and it was smelling like hot plastic death. I vowed to not turn the bike off and hope for the best. That's about all you can do out here by yourself. When I got to civilization, I went into diagnostic sleuth mode to find the guilty wiring loom or sensor that was fried. I found the source of the smell right away:



That's right. Fresh, roasting cattle crap smells just like burning electrical death. Sorry for doubting you BMW. But I did have to hit a pressure wash before heading home to get rid of the continual stank. Peeeeeee - eeeeeeewwwwwwww.

The roads and terrain heading into Radium are fantabulous:













Once through Dillon, and a gas refill, I was off to ride the last bit of my CDR vacation. Boreas Pass, and the highest altitudes of my trip.









Just as a guage of the scale and sheer size of this pass, those girls are still making out in the car in the next pic. Can you see them? Get reeeeeal close and squint:







OH NO!!!!! My last picture of the CDR! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccc ccccccckkkkkkkkk! Don't make any mistakes on your descent, that's a long way down off the cliff edge to the left:



And thus, the bottom of the pass signaled the beginning of my trip home. (Whole lotta flat sh*t.) I will do the southern half someday, and you bet I will come back in here and screw around some more. Although I do think I will do the Trans-Lab first, and that will give me lots of Canadian stuff to poke fun at! Sorry Canada!

Thanks for all of your comments and PM's. It was fun while it lasted. See you on the road someday!!



Thank you to Holly for taking the above picture. She had her kids playing in a creek out in the middle of f*cking nowhere in the Centennial Valley. I rode past and waved, and then thought .... Hey, I need at least 1 picture of me riding!

NCD screwed with this post 09-14-2011 at 05:57 AM
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Old 09-13-2011, 07:19 PM   #59
h2oboy
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Nice report. I look forward to some Canadian mockery.
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Old 09-13-2011, 07:26 PM   #60
WaywardSon
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Great report...I really like your style and sense of humor

Thanks for taking the time to include us.
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