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Old 10-18-2011, 07:06 AM   #76
Let's Ride!
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Joined: May 2007
Location: The Great Northwet
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Great report swamp.

Originally Posted by swamp
i puke in my helmet .
crawl to the top of the rock and onto flat ground where his girlfriend is standing.

tear my helmet off and puke on the ground at her feat.
she looks at me like she just saw jesus christ get hammered on the cross.

Me to the guy jeep driver: "eww.. oh fuck.. shit sorry i just puked in front of your girlfriend, thanks for the help".
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Old 10-18-2011, 08:04 AM   #77
Boulder Moto
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Location: Boulder Colorado
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Had me sucked in for an hour. Been in alot of those places and afraid to go into others alone?? Keep it up
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Old 10-18-2011, 09:34 AM   #78
Dirt Encrusted
or about to be
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Location: Arkansas!
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Old 10-18-2011, 10:34 AM   #79
Joined: Sep 2010
Location: Middle BFE, Mississippi
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Keep it up man, this is good stuff!
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Old 10-18-2011, 07:59 PM   #80
Beastly Adventurer
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Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Gray GA
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Originally Posted by swamp View Post

here we go with the stroud cracks
its worse when i wear a bandanna

it is funny though.
i had some guy come up to me in the Miami airport last year and ask me if i was les stroud.
so yea its possible to have THAT MUCH UGLY in the world at once

Very cool report anyhow.
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Old 10-20-2011, 09:37 AM   #81
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Joined: Apr 2011
Location: Fort Smith, AR
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Originally Posted by swamp View Post
thats funny. i didnt think anyone would catch those. are you talking about the Google earth image (from page one) with the subliminal message on it ?
So that's why I installed all those hydro units in my garage...
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Old 10-20-2011, 12:32 PM   #82
Studly Adventurer
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This is really good chit !!!! Haven't got here yet, still back a few pages. Love the photog and the report.
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Old 10-20-2011, 02:14 PM   #83
Moto Psycho
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Another great installment Swamp. Keep it coming....
If it has t*ts or tires, you're gonna have problems....
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Old 10-21-2011, 12:22 PM   #84
Beastly Adventurer
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Location: Westminster CO
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Great RR, keep it coming!
CRF250L | KTM200SX
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Old 10-21-2011, 01:09 PM   #85
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Nice RR! I think I met you hanging with TM at our local Pub Crawl. BADASS stuff............ Cheers
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Old 10-21-2011, 04:40 PM   #86
Joined: Aug 2010
Location: western pa
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swamp, simply awesome pics!!! MORE MORE MORE!!!!
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:16 PM   #87
swamp OP
U lie&yo'breff stank
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Joined: Feb 2007
Location: lower appalachia, Alabama
Oddometer: 1,899
Wink The Quest for Entelecheia, The American Flesh Eater Route


copied from my travel journal "the real ride report"

just installed new front sprocket. Packing up. Deep in now. lost in a trance.

old and new front sprockets:

my sidewalk garage. AKA "ADV Garage"

near kodachrome Basin. Heading back into the Escalante Wilderness..



I had never seen rock formations such as this until today.

__________________________________________________ _____

__________________________________________________ _____

copied from my travel journal: "The Real Ride Report"

I was lost in the escalante wilderness for at least 3 hours today with an ever present threat of desert thunderstorms. basically, if i were to have been caught out there in the rain it would have erased all my tire tracks and the ATV tracks i was following. not good.

I followed them out to a giant, gaping hole in the Earth .... a big, boundless ocean of a sky. i felt like i might be able to see the darkness of space if i looked deep enough into it.

the waypoint on my route was named "camp chupacabra"

i had planned to camp here but it was too early in the day to be thinking about camping so i kept riding. however, this is one of the coolest camping spots. right on the rim of a giant canyon in the middle of absolute nowhere-desert-ville.

its worth mentioning that i heard a voice call my name here while i was looking around off the bike.. which rattled me pretty hard and made the hair on my arms stand up. the desert. the desert. alone in the desert.

__________________________________________________ ____

__________________________________________________ ____

__________________________________________________ ____

__________________________________________________ ____

__________________________________________________ __________

__________________________________________________ __________

Finally i made it out of that place. hit a dirt road.
then went this way:

all the rain had washed out EVERYTHING. large ruts , rocks , mud, sand etc.

i came up on a bunch of single person tents.
they had been there for a while.
i could tell they had been there for a while because the red tents were now pink. the green tents were now grey.

me shouting: " hello? anyone there ?"

-no answer

ride about 20 yards. further.
i see a large, white, Red Cross style tent.

there is one of those single person camper-trailers that looks like a turtle shell up a little further from the tent. there is a huge array of solar panels .

me: "hey, anyone there !? "

trailer shakes and wobbles

guy: "yea (cough) yea "

me to guy: " what are you doing out here ?"

guy to me : " what are you doing out here ? "

me : " im just passing through.. where is everyone else ? "

guy: they are out digging in the canyon

me: digging what ?

guy: dinosaur bones

me: whoa cool . how long have you been here ?

guy: 2 months

me: who do you work for

guy: the BLM and the university of utah

me: find anything good

guy: two skulls

me: can i see them

guy: well they are blocked in plaster , not really anything to look at now.

i ride out of there wondering how in the hell they are planning on getting his little sleeping trailer out of there.

__________________________________________________ _________

__________________________________________________ _________

again. everything was washed out.
its hard to tell by the light and the clouds but ive been riding towards a large storm system all day. its only a matter of time until i get within it's range

i just hope im not somewhere like this when it lets go.

__________________________________________________ _________

__________________________________________________ _________

it began to rain just as i was deep in a canyon.

everything was muddy. like , really fucking muddy. trust me.

i saw a few abandoned trucks out in that canyon.

ive been in some serious mud before but these turd bubblers are pretty sketchy.

especially solo with a desert thunderstorm breathing down my neck. FUCK YEA! woo hooo!

some of them sink all the way to China.

purely random . just pick a line and hope for the best.

I rode out of the canyon just as the lightning was starting to flash.
pulled into a little town with a Phillips 66. The bottom dropped out and it rained real damn hard. the kind of rain where the drops bounce off the ground.

inside the gas station there was a Subway.

there was a hot blonde chic working there. maybe 21 years old. mmm fresh. i wanted to smell her ass. thats right. just like a dog.

yea she was hot. ..
but when i talked to her she seemed Lobotomized.. like a robot,
brainwashed or "from a different planet" .


i sat down, ate a sandwich and pondered. then, things began to click in my head.

lobotomized. brainwashed. im in Utah... I GOT IT !

she must be a Mormon.

The rain passed as quickly as it came.

i rode out. headed towards Hell's Backbone.

__________________________________________________ ___________

__________________________________________________ ___________

i love the name of this road "cowpuncher"

coming down off the mountain i caught up with a guy on an R1200 who was coming from the opposite direction. He was engulfed in bags , boxes , BMW farkles , Auto-com wires and windage measurement devices. i stopped ahead of him .

waved him over.
he had a Utah tag.
asked him where he was going (hoping to hear Ushuaia or something bad ass like that because he had so much shit with him).

nope. he was heading back home to Blanding , UT
... who knows, maybe it was a "shakedown ride" .

maybe i should bite my tongue now but seriously that shit was ridiculous.

the ride down from Hells Backbone was fun. lots of dirt switchbacks.
the Hells backbone natural bridge is paved but dirt roads all the way in both directions. only thing that is paved is the bridge.

this store was run by a nu-hippie. i walked through the door and i was nearly floored by a synthesized cloud of "mother nature sage" incense, Patchouli oil and a free-form-jazz-exploration CD. cool place. stop in if you get a chance.

i bought a protein bar and filled up on gas.

This dude had an interesting story:

he had ridden a bicycle over 2,000 miles cross-country.
He stopped in this town. He now lives in this town.
he was interested in what i was doing on my bike. asked me about the gear i had. was impressed with my minimalism and "less is more" point of view.

he told me there were many people around here who were living off the land.

gave me this web-site:

cool stuff. useful skills.

I headed down the road towards the Burr trail another heavy , blue thunder cloud.

do you see those people ?

lots of switchbacks all the way down from where i took this picture. ... i descend into an ancient Reef. a long time ago even more of our Earth was covered with water. what you are seeing now used to be underwater. a Reef. one of the major things in the ocean that form waves.

i used to surf while i was in college so this shit was making my brain ooze out of my nose. wicked-bad.

see the road? (bottom right)

can you see the road better now ?

do you see the 4 or 5 ridges ?? (including the one im standing on)

well imagine a swell moving from where im crouching taking the picture, then to the 2nd ridge , the third, the 4th, then finally to the 5th. when the swell hits that 5th ridge the wave will begin to break. ...

"Most Triumphant !"

crazy moon mud a' dud' dud'

... and then it rained and i could tell it wasnt going to stop this time..

grin and bare it

it got dark. more rain. it got cold. more rain. i talked in my helmet. more rain. i decided to keep riding and find a bed with a roof over it.

after 2 hrs i came to a small motel with a giant bus parked in front of it.
" any rooms?"

"i hate you this much ( stretching out arms)..well my arms aren't long enough"

laughter from lady

me: ill sleep right there under your desk if you let me.. and ill pay you for it..

lady: no , but ill call my friend who has a restaurant , she may be able to put you up.

me: sweet .

no answer, leave message. no answer. no answer.

i ride to the restaurant

open sign is on but all the doors are locked.
i stand in the rain for 20 minutes.

fuck it.

i leave and head down the road. . i pass a car heading the opposite direction. me "i bet that is the restaurant owner". i turn around.

sure as shit . it was her.

i ask her about a room to crash. she has one ( wooo kiss the sky!).

she tells me its dirty, the sheets need to be changed, one of her mothers friends has been staying there but he will not be back until tomorrow.

Me: i dont care. sell it to me.

she cooks me a chicken taco , sells me 3 double shots of Tequila and two Coronas; one of which i carry to the room which is detached from the restaurant. its across the parking lot. which has now become a giant mud hole .

i ask the girl if i should take my (cow poo mud covered) boots off before going into the room.

girl: " nah we dont care. we are used to mud around here"

me: ok then.

my room.
keep in mind that the only things that are mine are my Enduro gear , a beer and a knife . the rest was there upon arrival.

the bottom t.v. stopped working so they added another right on top.. which also didnt work.

mmm hmmm

the air con. complete with an "apples and onions " air freshener

primo parking spot.

im so happy this place turned up. i really didnt want to camp.

so much more interesting to have stayed here than at the bland motel.

i slept like a drunk , 30 year old white guy going across the country on a 225cc motorcycle and was thankful to be out of the rain.

Next time : stuck in the mud.. no i mean STUCK.
flat in the desert, Moab, Tyco, more broken spokes damn it,
electrical repairs, tires etc.

Enduro Earth

off the grid and deep in the woods

swamp screwed with this post 10-23-2011 at 09:32 PM
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:25 PM   #88
The Tourist
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Oddometer: 3,212

Very cool update Swamp. The videos were very worthwhile. I often skip over videos since so many are boring. Glad I didn't skip yours. I can't wait to read about Swamp getting swamped in the desert.
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:37 PM   #89
swamp OP
U lie&yo'breff stank
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Joined: Feb 2007
Location: lower appalachia, Alabama
Oddometer: 1,899

Originally Posted by dave6253 View Post
Very cool update Swamp. The videos were very worthwhile. I often skip over videos since so many are boring. Glad I didn't skip yours. I can't wait to read about Swamp getting swamped in the desert.

thanks for the input Dave and thanks for taking the time to watch a few vids.

im trying to keep the videos short (sorry for the long 3minute one).
my attention span is around 10 seconds. so , i know what you mean.
Enduro Earth

off the grid and deep in the woods
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Old 10-23-2011, 09:13 PM   #90
Studly Adventurer
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Location: Vancouver Island
Oddometer: 882
Man, I am loving this report. Photos are captivating, must……have……more….
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