LONG WAY DROWNED 3 (with apologies to Charlie and Co)

[schattat]

Beautiful!

[bumblebee1]

Incredible!

I'm looking at the hidden tours right now.
I can dream, can't I?

[DesertSweeper]

Thank you Gentlemen, the encouragement is welcome. My advice is do it soon, this place is clearly changing fast - there won't be a hidden Cambodia for long...

[DesertSweeper]

On the way down the hill we spotted this spotter casing out the Thai lookout post:



And then we thanked our military escort and after Joe’s brief dream of being a copper we headed back down the hill and made for our destination of the day.


Plod Joe

After a high speed chase down the mountain we arrived at our hotel and were greeted with a bucket of beers on ice. This made Blian visibly emotional.

Emotional Blian

But it was still early and so after sucking on the frosties we headed out to see the grave and last-stand of the infamous Pot Pol or Pol Pot as some called him

[DesertSweeper]

Before we depart for another cultural tour Joe has an epiphany. He claims he has figured out what’s causing him to fall off. He is looking down at the line in front of his wheel. He recons he needs to be looking up and further away. This is going to resolve his issues he assures us. Sensing he may be onto something that may limit further entertainment I suggest an alternative. When he is about to get fixated on a bad line, I tell him to close his eyes for 5 seconds. I assure him this will quickly break the bad luck. Everyone sighs with relief – a close call averted by your trusted writer.

On the way up to visit the last-stand bunker of Pot Pohl we finally spotted a Cambodian bike-gear shop. The lads were every bit as excited as no doubt Pot Pohl was nervous in his crap little bunker up on the hill. We rush up the hill to get the cultural thing out of the way so we can return to avail of the latest in biking-gear high-fashion. Needless to say Joe delays things with his endless historical questions but we manage to prise him away eventually.



Joe looking past my steed at Pot Pol's last-stand bunker pondering the questions he will ask


The bunker itself. This is where the man who was responsible for over 2 million deaths spent his last days. There is nothing up there. No signs no people no story. Just a derilict old concrete shell.

Apparently you can pay kids a dollar to piss on his grave down the hill.

As we pull away Joe tries out his new-found technique and falls off immediately. Result.

We scoot down the hill to the Cambodian Bike-Gear Shop and the lads are clearly quivering with anticipation. There was a wide-selection of the latest gear on offer and so they helped themselves to shiny new boots and riding pants:


James models the latest hi-tech riding boots on offer. The shop itself looks a bit like an army surplus store selling cheap chinese junk:



Having sorted out protective issues we are off to see the grave of the tyrrant but our guide Paul's accelerator cable snaps and so we bodge a manual pliers-solution that puts us into the dark and so we head back to the hotel without getting the chance to piss on his grave.

[DesertSweeper]

The night is young and so I join Paul for a shave at a “saloon”. The girl pulls out an old-style double-edged razor blade and starts to dry-shave me. When I scream she pulls out a bottle of baby powder and sprinkles that generously onto my face and carries on. The pain is unbelievable but I tolerate it for a while assuming this is just the way things are done here – I don’t want to look like a wimp. It just gets too much and I tell her to stop and so I leave with half a moustache. Back at the hotel we all jump on the back of taxi-scooters to go and investigate the allegedly seedy karaoke bars. They are just that – seedy excuses for brothels. The girls “love you long time” and judging by the traffic going through them are test-beds for new diseases. We escape with our karaoke-virginities intact and head back to the hotel on the scooters of the crazed kids running the scooter-taxi’s. Mine is clearly having an argument with his missus or someone important as he is shouting into his mobile phone vigorously and swerving between the carnage on the road using just the one remaining hand. I adopt some new religions and prey and we do actually arrive back in one piece. Miracle.


The love shack... nasty


Mama-san... no not him, thats Blian - it's her in the pic


Oy stop nibblinhg my ear


Please mommy let it end - he's spilling my beer

[DesertSweeper]

This morning (day 6) James and Joe duly present themselves for service, ahem, for riding, in their shiny new gear bought just last-night at the Cambodian bike-gear shop.



Operation Desert Storm gone wrong

We had some black-top yesterday and a couple of the lads fell asleep at the wheel so we ask Paul if he can find a way to keep us off the sacrilegious stuff if at all possible. He tells us there is only one way and it’s going to be very difficult. Game on! We head out after filling up with petrol.


“No Picture!” You saw it here first! Secret testing of the new Touratech panniers

[LTFJC]

Great report,thanks for sharing.

[Duke78]

Great! U havin' a Blast guys! Keep it coming

[DesertSweeper]

As Paul had never done this route before he would often stop in a village and ask for directions. Everyone had a different idea as to how we should get to where we were going. We would stop in a village and they would all point in different directions simultaneously. No one really seems to know directions in Cambodia. It’s all rather vague and general – leads to a good adventure.. One chap kindly drew a map for us:


If you go that way you will go down


This dodgy dude said it wasn’t possible – we should have listened





...and then you curve left….and then you go straight….


Those pesky Cambodian trees grow everywhere

The road turned into a track which turned into a muddy swamp. We lost Cameron for a bit as he fell into some “very deep sand” and Paul was heard revving his beast in the distance. Silence fell.
Cameron tried to enter the swamp again but struggled:


And then Joe discovered a rare find:





A typical bridge crossing – keeps you awake!

[DesertSweeper]

We all regrouped finally and the decision was made to go back and find another route that was actually doable. A river crossing provided much entertainment as everyone did their best to drench everyone else.




And then the lads were off at speed playing silly buggers. Cameron and james tried to roost Joe but landed up roosting each other in an explosive mudbath.


We stopped at the first roadside market for beers and so the lads could compare mud-bath notes. Beers were compulsory.




I just flapped over both of you


I have no idea why Blian is always in the Beer pics…



Joe likes to fondle an eel from time to time. Reminds him of his temple. James looks on longingly.


The Real Slim Shady dreaming of pork


Market beuaty


I kill you

[DesertSweeper]

We get onto some blacktop for a bit and then it’s fast hard gravel roads.



We head up towards the Thai border and pass this little gem:



What more could you ask for!


The Thai border

[DesertSweeper]

Petrol is measured out by the litre


Yes, that's being pulled by a scooter


A reminder of Cambodia's crazy past - mine-free fields cleared of ordinance

We arrive at a medium sized town where the annual festival is under full swing. People come from far and wide and even neighbouring Thailand. Massive crowds throng the streets and there is a playground-fair with rusty old rides. There are open-air disco's that are pumping a mix of Cambodian pop and western tunes. Whenever a Cambodian number comes on the crowd starts shuffling around a central post in anti-clockwise fashion. Then a western number comes on and the crowd instantly disintegrates into frenzied boogy. There are boat races, food and all maner of entertainment …. Sadly I leave my camera at the hotel and so miss out on some unbelievable footage. Fortunatley Mr Blian took his along so here are some of his contributions:




Your humble scribe in action at the X-Games




Cambodian open-air disco in full swing

[DesertSweeper]

Beer is a very important substance. It ensures the liveliness and indeed coontiued existence of bikers everywhere. As far as Cambodian beer goes my personal opinion is as follows: Anchor Smooth is top notch and my favourite. If u can get your hands on Beer Lao u will b a happy camper. It's low acidity allows u to drink large volumes.

Angkor in the little bottle is good but average in the can. Cambodia is also not bad Crown is crap and Leo is not far behind. Then u get the lesser known brands like Klang and Bayon that are fortunately not widely available What does a beer cost? U can get draft Anchor in the bars off the main "Pub Street" for 50c so take two and make it a round dollar!

Blian on the other hand recons so long as it says "beer" on it it's gotta b good right!


Is that not the face of a happy camper

[DesertSweeper]

We return to the hotel and sit outside to watch the fireworks and damage the best part of a bottle of Vodka while kamikaze insects dive-bomb us into eventual submission. We turn in reluctantly - tomorrow will be our final day as we turn back towards Siem Reep.


The fact that Blian consumed a vast quantity of beer has nothing to do with the tilted horizon in this pic – they build that way in Cambodia – Blian says it lets the rain run off easier.