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Old 09-27-2012, 03:06 PM   #1
DualSport650 OP
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Gifford Pinchot NF - Entering a Vortex of Chaos

OK, so here's the low-down on our weekend of (mis)ADVentures.
"NEFFR", "WOOKIE" and I decided to slay the GIFF for a 3-day weekend.

So, we loaded up the toy hauler and headed north in the
big red Ford at about 5 PM on Thursday evening.

Little did we know, we where entering a VORTEX of CHAOS!!!

You ready for this? Here we GO!!! >>>



Cool shots of the sun-set in the smokey air on the way there >>>





We get to Olallie Lake at the GIFF at about 10.
NEFFR goes Night-Night at 11 and WOOK and I stay
up til 1:45 talking mad-smack.

DAY 1 - We're DOOMED from the Start!

Check out WOOKIE'S new attire. LOL! WTF? >>>



Geared up and ready to Go! >>>





We rip up the trail near camp >>>







We get to the TOP and I notice that WOOKIE's "Rim-Pillow" (trials tire)
is coming off the rim's BEAD! Uh-oh. WTF WOOK!!!??? >>>



So, we decide to be safe and ride back down to camp
to fix it. On the way down the tube gets a pinch-flat.

Wookie's ANGRY! >>>



We figure the BEAD on the tire is thrashed, so
WOOK tries to poach a tire from the neighbors.
No luck, so he drives back down to Hood River in
the FORD to get a new tire mounted.

NEFFR and I decide to JUKE the WOOK and ride! >>>













NEFFR's new $500 Titanium header starts turning colors - blue and purple >>>





On the way back down from the top we come across some horsey people >>>





And then continue to SHRED >>>





We come to the creek-crossing. It's frickin' DEEP! >>>







NEFFR decides to try a new route down the way >>>











Then we ride another area and find this super-sick SingleTrack >>>




I hit a rock with my boot and crash! >>>





We take a RIGHT and ride back to camp.
This is the spot where StihlRigg and
WOOKIE took a LEFT last year and ended
up running out of GAS way out in PACKWOOD. LOL! >>>



DINNER TIME!!!

NEFFR can't figure out how to use a can-opener and shreds the can open. WTF? >>>



Wookie gets back to camp and is all GRUMPY
because he didn't get to ride much.

NEFFR figured out how to get the WOOK in a better mood >>>





WOOKIE slams a PABST >>>



Next thing you know, WOOKIE's stoked again.

DualSport650 screwed with this post 09-27-2012 at 09:26 PM
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:09 PM   #2
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DAY 2 - The BIG ride

We start off the day with some coffee made
on the JetBoil AFTER-BURNER stove >>>



NEFFR cooks up some grubbin' breakfast burritos >>>



We shred up "DARK MEADOW" trail >>>











This switchback was INSANE. There's a BIG rock face to
climb right before the rocky switchback. WOOKIE slays it,
then NEFFR, then I top it without dabbing (lucky) >>>



We make it to the top >>>



Now we're going up to SHARK ROCK!!! >>>



Now we're getting up into the cliffs. This is SKETCHY!!! >>>



Then we slay the BOUNDRY TRAIL that's all muddy and
full of slippery wet roots. WOOKIE shreds up to the top.
NEFFR and I get stuck once because our rim-pillows are
packed with MUD >>>



We're getting close to SHARK ROCK and it starts getting
all MISTY and WEIRD up there >>>



Looking UP the cliff >>>





Now we're at SHARK ROCK and it starts getting HAIRY!!!
We're on a GNARLY CLIFF and we have to navigate around
some crazy switchbacks. Who made these insane trails???!!! >>>



Looking down the cliff >>>



Let's GET SOME!!! >>>



NEFFR scouts it out >>>





WOOKIE goes first >>>





And roosts up to the top >>>





Now it's NEFFR's turn. I'm taking the pic from the top looking straight down >>>







NEFFR makes it to the top >>>





Gitty Up Monkey, now it's YOUR turn! >>>





I walk it. No need to show off and DIE!!! >>>









BrrAAAAPPPPP!!! >>>













I get to the TOP. Time for lunch!!! >>>





Then head DOWN the mountain >>>





These trails are AWESOME! >>>



This tree falls over and almost squashes NEFFR >>>



Then we get a little lost and find this blown-out old bridge >>>





WOOKIE's on a mission and decides to cross the creek
looking for the trail >>>



He bush-whacks up this NASTY hill, but didn't find any trail >>>









Somehow we end up WAY OVER to the North-West of the
trail system and have to ride all the way back to camp >>>


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Old 09-27-2012, 03:20 PM   #3
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DAY 3

NEFFR and I take the WOOK on the Green Mountain Trail.

WOOKIE's so FAST, it's hard to catch him on camera sometimes >>>



NEFFR >>>









WOOK >>>











Wookie CRASHES and TACOs his pipe and SMASHES
it into the engine. It's DONE. >>>



ME >>>











We get back to camp and check out the hippy-bus next door >>>









NEFFR takes a bunch of RANDOM shots >>>



WOOKIE illustrating how you "WHIP" a bike sideways on jumps >>>



WOOKIE illustrating his sick "NINJA moves" >>>



OK, time to pack up and roll on HOME!!! >>>





WOOK: "WTF? Why won't your GHETTO truck go
faster than 20 MPH DOWN-HILL???!!! What a POS!!!" >>>



ME: "Hell I don't know DUDE, you tell me! Something's JACKED!" >>>



WOOK: "I got a set of tools that will fix ANYTHING! "



HAKKA the DOG: "How the HELL did I get suckered into going on this GHETTO-ASS trip. WTF???"



WOOK: "What a pile of CRAP. Why can't you buy a decent truck MOFO???!!!"



WOOK: "Hey, I got an idea. Git me that HAMMER!" >>>



Me: "I don't think that worked dude. Let's just try to get back to town" >>>



TRUCK DIES and we pull off to the side of the road...



WOOK: "Dude, I knew I shouldn't have gone to the GIFF with these guys."



WOOK: "Dude, I heard if you WHACK the fuel pump with a HAMMER it will work."



ME: "Yeah, great idea!"



It doesn't work, so we limp back and almost make it to TROUT LAKE.

Truck dies AGAIN!

There's a BIG forest fire on the next ridge over.
We see burning trees, there's smoke everywhere.
Looked kinda like this >>>



The place is crawling with 1000 fire fighters and
helicopters flying everywhere.
Kind of reminded me of DA-NANG back in the NAM!!! >>>









Then guy in another FORD truck stop by to help >>>







This corn-fed dude's name is "Sawyer" - He's from DUFUR, OREGON >>>



He's checking the fuel filter and pump >>>



WOOKIE: "I think the fuel filter is right here, bro." >>>



SAWYER: "Damn, that thing is JACKED. WTF??? I'm OUTTA here! >>>



ME: "Now what?"



WOOK: "Dudes. I gotta work tomorrow. My wife's in Portland. I'll have her swing by and pick me up!"



NEFFR rips into town to get a mechanic >>>





Then this guy "PARKER" shows up >>>



WOOK: "Let's see if we can get this guy to TOW the rig into TROUT LAKE. LOL!" >>>



PARKER: "Damn Skippy, I'll give you a tow! Hook it up!!!" >>>













RANDOM BLONDE: "WTF are these guys up to???!!!" >>>



It gets dark. WOOKIE's wife picks him up and leaves HIS
DOG with NEFFR and I stuck at the local Chevron station >>>





We camp out at the gas station and have some sodas >>>





That night we almost got jacked by a couple METH-HEDZ,
and only got about 3 hours of sleep because fire fighters
where everywhere in their diesel trucks.

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Old 09-27-2012, 03:22 PM   #4
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DAY 4

ANDY the gas station owner tries to help us fix the truck >>>





He's pulling parts off another CLAPPED-OUT Ford 460 in the lot >>>



NEFFR and I get breakfast and feed the DOG sausages >>>



We get the truck started and drive towards HOOD RIVER.

It will only go 20 MPH and DIES 5 miles down the road >>>



Frickin' FORD! We call a tow truck >>>







Hakka the dog takes a GIANT DUMP in the woods. >>>



Tow truck shows up in an hour >>>



















LOL!!! >>>



We drive back to TROUT LAKE and pick up the toy hauler >>>



ANDY: "You dumb-asses are back already???" >>>











We get to the tow service and mechanic station in HOOD RIVER
and take pics of the wrecked vehicles. Bimmer GS >>>



The story here is this punk-ass in a HONDA CIVIC was
going 100 MPH and hit a PICK-UP TRUCK on the rear side.
The Honda left a 300 yard trail of debris when it crashed. >>>







BEER. Don't drink and drive! >>>



Miraculously, everyone walked away from this wreck!

They park the rig and work on it >>>



NEFFR and I go to DOUBLE MOUNTAIN brewery for nachos >>>



The tow company calls me and tells me the CATALYTIC CONVERTER is BLOWN-OUT
and clogging the motor like a POTATO stuffed in the exhaust pipe and will
need a new one. EXPENSIVE!!! I need a BEER >>>






Later we get dinner at this place>>>





Then we grab a cab back to the toy hauler to get some Z's...
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Old 09-27-2012, 03:27 PM   #5
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DAY 5

Here it is. All nice and shiney! Wow. Truck runs STRONG now. >>>



Here's the OLD catalytic converter >>>



Here's the honeycomb stuff that torches the exhaust gases >>>



Here's the side with the BLOWN-OUT honeycomb stuff.
Looks like gravel in there! >>>



WEIRD >>>



We figure we all spent about $2000 this weekend on truck towing,
repairs, a moto tire, a wrecked Husky pipe, gas, food, etc.

BUT, it was THE funnest weekend I've had in a LONG time.
Just absolutely NUTS!!! We all got caught in a VORTEX of CHAOS
and made it out alive!!!

We're outta here! >>>













THE END

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Old 09-27-2012, 09:52 PM   #6
Vincenthdfan
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Holy crap!! That was an exhausting trip and I wasnt even there!!

But...I grew up riding those trails and have VERY vivid memories of those switchbacks on Shark Rock!

I remember sacrificing my leg under the rear wheel of my dads Suzuki when it was sliding backwards off that cliff cause it couldnt get traction.

Tore my leg up pretty good, but the bike got going fwd again.

I havent been up there in years and years, sure brought back a lot of memories. Its a whole different world up there.
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Old 09-28-2012, 12:28 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vincenthdfan View Post

I remember sacrificing my leg under the rear wheel of my dads Suzuki when it was sliding backwards off that cliff cause it couldnt get traction.

Tore my leg up pretty good, but the bike got going fwd again.
Yeah, good idea. Better than going off the CLIFF!!!

Who even THINKS of making trails up there like that???

They're insane!!!
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Old 09-28-2012, 06:16 PM   #8
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Hey guys that was one of the best and funniest RRs I've read in awhile. Thanks for the story and laughs!
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Old 09-29-2012, 01:21 AM   #9
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Great read Monkey!! I was wanting to bring my hacksaw and get you on the road myself!! Thanks for journaling your misadventures!
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Old 09-29-2012, 10:35 AM   #10
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That was a fun ride!

A person can't make this stuff up. . . not in one adventure outing anyway. . . and you got it all in one!

This is a fun ride report to read.
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Old 10-01-2012, 01:26 PM   #11
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Great report ! I wish it wasn't so dang far to get down there , those trails look like a blast . Hadn't thought about a cat going bad for years . I remember trying to troubleshoot my brother in law's F-150 in 75' or so , drove me nuts . Everything checked out great but after maybe 15 minutes it would die , wait 15 minutes and go another 10 miles . Truck was a 74' , but he ran it on farm gas (leaded) . Back then , NAPA had a "test" pipe to put in where the cat went . Of course we never put a new cat in , lifetime testing . Have had fishing trips go almost as good as this trip . But I think you beat me . Thanks for the laughs !
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Old 10-01-2012, 09:35 PM   #12
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braaaaaappppppppp!!!!
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:17 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAdmiral View Post
A person can't make this stuff up. . . not in one adventure outing anyway. . . and you got it all in one!

This is a fun ride report to read.
Funny thing is...

We didn't care about the truck breaking down.

It just meant more days OFF WORK!!! Ha ha!!!
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Old 08-30-2014, 11:58 AM   #14
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HA! Thanks for sending the link - forgot all about this VORTEX!
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