Why are most men so emasculated?

[SkiFastBadly]

Let me go ask my wife.

[ttpete]

A friend owns a new and used tool store, and every once in awhile we see a guy bring his wife in and try to justify a purchase to her........

[opmike]

I'd never marry into a "let" relationship. I'm not going to "let" them doing anything and they aren't going to "let" me do anything either. We're both goddamned adults, and a relationship isn't the place to put all your pre-existing passions and interests on hold or to have their continuation or cessation dependent entirely upon someone's irrational little biases. Should there be compromises? Sure. But things like, "Well, guns are bad. They scare me!" isn't the same kind of argument as, "Well, we can't really afford that LaRue upper or Nightforce right now because of X, Y, and Z." Objective financial issues can be a clear and present problem. Something like fear is often borne out of misconceptions and can often be cured with a few trips to the range. Why would I yield a passion of mine so quickly to something so potentially transient?

I have interest in science (including evolutionary biology), motorcycles, guns, cars, airplanes, and motorsports. I don't expect to hear any complaining from anyone else regarding these interests unless they are somehow becoming overly intrusive upon the relationship, financially, etc...

Luckily, I've been able to find women with similar views. She buys her shit, watches her shit, reads her shit, and goes to her shit...I do the same on my end. Most often there's some overlap, sometimes not, and it's never turned into an issue. I respect a person who will make a real effort to become interested or otherwise supportive of someone else's interests, and I always make an effort to do the same. I see a relationship as being a place for growth, not a prison.

Life's too short to start changing and molding who you as a person just to keep someone else happy. Maybe I'm a selfish bastard, but for me, if it came down to the wire and I HAD to choose, a happy life means more than a happy spouse if said spouse will only be appeased if I change who I am. It ain't gonna happen and I wouldn't dare ask her to do the same. So far, I've been able to keep both the life and spouse at comparable levels of happiness. YMMV.

[FotoTEX]

On our 1st wedding anniversary a friend called and said he knew of a nice used BMW for sale, I cancelled lunch at the Fairmount in Dallas and went and bought it. She is happy I have a passion for riding. That was 34 years ago. You keep the good ones and skip on the others...

[treeguy]

"Everybody's funny............. now you're funny too."

[swimmer]

Originally Posted by Rob.G

This makes a lot of sense. And the current political state of affairs in the US is a perfect example. We have one side trying to create a culture of dependency, where everybody is reliant upon government, and the other side, that advocates self-sufficiency.

Rob

Exactly like the current state of political affairs. We have one side that wants people to be able to choose who they have sex with and the other side that wants to control your personal decisions.

[Human Ills]

Originally Posted by treeguy

"Everybody's funny............. now you're funny too."

yup

[Iwantabikesobad]

I'm thinking Opmike nailed this one.
When we talked about motorcycles, the first thing my wife said was, I aint riding on the back. I need one of my own.
She is on her second bike and eyeing a new BMW now.
Financial responsibility is very important in a marriage but,Squeezing the life out of someone wont fly here.
She does her stuff, I do mine. Works great for us.

[DiabloADV]

Originally Posted by Grreatdog

But to me it is an easy enough compromise because I don't actually care about it. Same with bikes.

This. Guys say they wish they had a bike, but they don't.

I used to pour a lot of time into endurance sports, and the wife hated it. Then my interest level waned a little bit, and I gave it up. The tension wasn't worth it any more.

But she actually doesn't gripe about the motorbike. She figures it's safer for me to ride 3-4 hours a week on a motorbike than 12-14 hours a week on a bicycle.

[wmax351]

Originally Posted by gmk999

Could be she is right. Riding is dangerous. ya' know.. "it's not if you go down it's when"... etc.
May be she didn't sign on to be an early widow, or for her kids to have to visit their dad in the hospital.
It may have nothing to do with turning in your Man-card, but more with respect to your partners opinion and the fact that she may know you better then you think.
I am of the age now where I can almost keep to the speed limit, but there was a time when the throttle might as well have been an on/off switch..Needless to say I ride a whole lot more now.

Family friend had something along those lines. Used to work on a bike racing team. (Engineer)

Gets married, and has to sell the bike till the kids are in college. One is, other is a junior. He's already shopping. The wife is adopting more Dachshunds. I suggested a Ural with a sidecar for the Dachshunds (you could probably fit a dozen or so).

Although, he got the "Meet half way" option: Sports Cars. He has a perfect '75 Porsche 914 and a '83 928. Hell, the 914 weighs about the same as some bikes. He's also been allowed to ride, just not own one.

[Contevita]

A friend of mines says he want's a bike, says if he were to divorce the current wife a bike would be one of his first purchases. When I brought over my bike to his house the first time, the first words out of his wife's mouth was "no, don't even ask". Just this past weekend I was over there and asked he like to join us in a ride for a while, he declined. I don't get it, this dude will drive his BMW auto to the limit, 150mph, but won't ride pillion? I guess his wife doesn't know he drives that fast, or maybe she does and will think he'll take a motorbike faster. Maybe he's avoiding confrontation, etc. I don't get it, I just don't.

[eakins]

Originally Posted by Bucho

I fragging love that movie.

nut up or shut up...
you fucking love that movie!

[DC2wheels]

the first words out of his wife's mouth was "no, don't even ask".

So......... if she wants something, does she have to ask him??


I thought that marriage (or similar arrangement) was a partnership, not a master/servant relationship. WTF.

Kind of one of the biggest things to get straight before tying the knot, don't cha think?

We did- 31 years ago.

[Mambo Dave]

I think that "The wife won't let me" is more of a way of saying, or not saying/admitting, "The wife convinced me that while our children are under 18, I should do my best to stay safe and alive to be there for them, and I agree."

That, or change that argument to be for financial reasons instead of children. Either way, a lot of guys won't admit they were convinced.

Sure, the wives argued against it, but they made sense and the men you've met agreed.

The numbers of guys who do finally buy bikes, or buy bikes again, after their children are grown attest to that.

[O.C.F.RIDER]

My first ex-wife say's to me 8 months into the, uh, "marriage", I want you to sell your bikes and quit riding so we can have kids. Mind you that we had known each other since I was 13 and she was 9,(married at 25 & 21) and I started riding at 8 years old, so it's not like my being addicted to motorcycles was some sort of a surprise to her.
My reply to her was, "Well Kathy, bitches like you are a dime a dozen, and I'll never find anything I enjoy quite as much as riding. So, if that's the way you feel I guess you're going to have to leave."
She left shortly thereafter.
I kept happily riding
On the first date with the 2nd ex-wife she was hearing about how much I like to ride and I said, "yeah, I like to ride most Sunday's but there's other things to do other than ride." 13 years later she'd say...."years ago I remember him saying that there are other things to do other than ride, but that's the only thing the asshole wants to do on the week-end." My reply would always be, "There ARE other things to do, I just don't feel like doing any of them with you."
Current, hopefully never 3rd ex, wife actually likes the fact that I have such passion for SOMETHING, as her 1st ex-husband (my ex best friend ) had passion for NOTHING. 7 bikes downstairs right now and figuring out what bike to get with the money from selling the 'Vette. She even had the dis-pleasure of falling off with me when we hit a patch of anti-freeze on my 950...................and she stills likes going riding! A great cook also! YUP! She's a keeper! I just hope she doesn't come to her senses one day and give my ass the boot.

Ride On!
Chris