Why are most men so emasculated?

[Craneguy]

I went to look at guns when I moved to Tennessee. I was drooling over the display case when the owner came over.
"what can I show you"
"that's ok, the wife won't let me have one anyway"
"why not?" he asks
"she's scared it'll get taken from me by a burglar and he'll kill me with it"
"well, he'd have to beat you to death with it" he replies
"why?" I ask, confused
"coz it'd be empty by then, wouldn't it?"

I bought my first 9mm a week later.

Same deal with bikes. I put off buying one after getting married as the wife was certain I'd kill myself. She was so upset I really didn't want to do that to her.

10 years later she insisted on moving back to Mexico to be near her family. I wasn't pleased so I made getting a new bike a condition. She still hates them, but respects my only hobby. $1 mil in life insurance helped too ;)

In those 10 years though I never once blamed her in public for not getting one.

[hooliken]

Originally Posted by '05Train

This.

I was nearly killed in a wreck last November, and was barely able to walk until mid-January. Since then I've ridden close to 20,000 miles with easily 10,000 of that with either my wife or my daughter on the back with me. There was never any question or discussion about whether or not I (or we) would ride again. Anyone who knows me knows that riding is an integral part of who I am. Not as important as being a husband or father, but it's up there.

Had my wife not understood and accepted who I am (a rider), we would never have gotten married.

Exactly,

There are times when riding does have to take a back seat to certain things. But there have been more times than I can count when after not riding for a couple days or a week, or two, that my lovely wife will look at me and tell me that I need to go out for a ride. She can tell when it is "time"!

[Disco Stu]

Originally Posted by d.burbach

This has got to be the saddest thread in all of ADV. Clearly, very few people have any idea what marriage truly is anymore, and clearly have no value for it. ....

Being man has nothing to do with telling your woman what you will and won't do, it's about being strong enough to love well, to lay your life down for your wife and family, even if that means motorcycles, and to confront your problems head on instead of hopping on your bike and pretending they don't exist.

Then these men should be man enough to tell other people 'I enjoyed riding a bike back i the other day, but other priorities took over.'

My categorization of guys being emasculated has two prongs: 1) those that let their wife tell them what they can and can't do and 2) those that choose to blame their wife for their own choices.

[DAKEZ]

Originally Posted by Shoganai

Best post I think I've ever read here.

I read it as deceptive and pathetic. (good points masked the cowardice)

[Tepi]

Originally Posted by d.burbach

This has got to be the saddest thread in all of ADV. Clearly, very few people have any idea what marriage truly is anymore, and clearly have no value for it. It seems like a lot of the guys on here use motorcycling as a way of running from their problems and god forbid their wives call them on it! Riding a motorcycle is great, it's a blast and I love it, but at the end of the day it's just a hobby and it's not what's most important in life, do you think your GS or whatever's coming with you when you go? Being man has nothing to do with telling your woman what you will and won't do, it's about being strong enough to love well, to lay your life down for your wife and family, even if that means motorcycles, and to confront your problems head on instead of hopping on your bike and pretending they don't exist.

This has gotta be the saddest post in ADV. Who is someone else saying what you can or cant do? Its not like I'd be asking permission to buy a bike or a gun and I sure as hell arent going to get rid of either, also I wouldnt expect my partner to be asking permission from me to go get her hair done or whatever. I need my time, I ride because, when I ride I am with my thoughts, I can think things over in my mind. Sure call it a hobby, maybe thats the only thing it is for you. I call it meditation and a nice way to ride to work. Women paint their nails, go shopping, gym, whatever with their girlfriends to release their stress, why cant men be allowed to get rid of stress their own way.

Is it better to be in a relationship where your partner is happy that you're abiding to her needs/thoughts/preferences, whilst you yourself are miserable? It takes two to tango, which your partner isnt doing if they only give demands on what you can or cant do.

I really dont understand the hopping on your bike to pretend problems dont exist, can you elaborate?

[JimVonBaden]

Originally Posted by DAKEZ

I read it as deceptive and pathetic. (good points masked the cowardice)

Me too! Sorry Gwen.

I don't think most of us are advocating putting a woman "in her place", or telling them it is none of their business, or even ignoring thier opinion.

Most of us are disgusted at the man not having the decency to just tell the truth, but instead making his wife the scapegoat. It is insulting to her, and unfair to portray her as somehow insensitive to her husband's wants and desires.

On the other hand, there are some women who do exercise iron control over their men, which is equally pathetic!

Jim

[Fe Man]

Marry well and this is a moot point!

Fe Woman had a bike before me; well actually she stated that we should get bikes and "I want this one" at which point I stroked the check.

I have no idea what all the fuss is about.

[Human Ills]

Nah, the boss had it out for him.

[Bill Harris]

Originally Posted by Shoganai

Best post I think I've ever read here.

Well, maybe one of the better.

What Gewn and d.burbach are sayiing is that you have to prioritize. Motorcycling is good, but you have to get the career on line and in line, and you have to get all those other necessities of life taken care of.

In a relationship, one partner controlling is a bummer.

--Bill

[larryboy]

Originally Posted by Shoganai

Best post I think I've ever read here.

Originally Posted by Shoganai

I wouldn't have a husband that didn't either ride or not stand in the way of my riding. It's that important to me.

I ain't got no dog in this fight Gwen, but I noticed that the best post you liked also says that motorcycles are just a hobby and don't matter, then you go and say it's the only thing that matters...you lost me there.

[tijuana]

She said no, out of fear.
I brought home the plated XR650R anyway.
Now she wants me to get a Ducati or cafe racer type, because my bike is old and noisy.

Problem fixed itself.
So, which cafe racer takes knobbies easily?

[Human Ills]

Originally Posted by Bill Harris

Well, maybe one of the better.

What Gewn and d.burbach are sayiing is that you have to prioritize. Motorcycling is good, but you have to get the career on line and in line, and you have to get all those other necessities of life taken care of.

In a relationship, one partner controlling is a bummer.

--Bill

That's just your trip.

[larryboy]

Originally Posted by Shoganai

Sorry, what I was trying to express it that people and more directly the people closest to us are or at least should be more important than 'things'.

In this case it's motorcycles, but might as well be cars, ink pens, or furniture.

Because motorcycling is so important to me I made sure that I married a man who also valued them as much. We do not agree on money or religion but we found we could manage those w/o excessive angst.

If on the other hand, it's a hobby that's one could pick up or drop at will then that person may be content to marry someone that doesn't support that hobby and they both may be ok with that.

Right and those people need to realize that motorcycles aren't 'things' to people like us, they're air, we die without them.

[SilkMoneyLove]

Ok, so we punch these weenie guys in the face when they give us the old "wife won't let me" line? :-)

We could always bore them with talk of oil, tires and dynabeads....

Or do we punch their old ladies in the face to show them how to keep a Ho in check?

I am so confused about how to handle this situation...

[SilkMoneyLove]

Can't. I am at work.

We just want to be free. Free to ride our machines and not get hassled by the woman! :-)