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Old 02-04-2014, 07:55 PM   #1
ccmickelson OP
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Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Fanta Se
Oddometer: 375
These creeps hijacked my RS!

There I was tinkering in my garage, minding my own beans, when along came these two little deviants. I should have just sent them on their way and closed the garage door but...hindsight, etc.. Right away they began nosing into my business, getting into my tools, asking all sorts of unintelligible and nonsensical questions and generally disturbing the peaceful harmony of my man cave. They quickly became so maddeningly distracting I could no longer concentrate on whatever the hell it was I had been working on. After one of them overturned a can full of fasteners and the other began using my torque wrench as a hammer on the concrete slab I knew I could take it no longer. Thinking quickly, I fired up my compressor and chased them off with well aimed blasts of air, shouting, "Beat it you little miscreants!", as they ran screaming back to whatever dark place from whence they had emerged.

Their unexpected visit had left my nerves rattled, so I stepped into the house to grab a beer. By the time I returned, beer in hand, the two were not only back, they had climbed aboard my beloved RS. This was too much. Their complete lack of regard for another’s property was simply galling. This was a fine motorcycle, not a jungle gym! Just as I was about to blow a vein, it occurred to me that this would at least keep their sticky little fingers out of reach of my tools. So I snapped a picture of them in the name of posterity and went about my project, doing my best to tune out their mindless banter and make believe motorcycle sounds.

At some point, the call of nature led me back into the house. I was in the hallway bathroom for only a moment when I was jolted back to reality by the familiar sound of the RS's starter motor and the ensuing putaputaputa of the ignited, perfectly tuned, boxer engine. I burst from the bathroom, fumbling with my zipper and stumbling down the hallway toward the garage. By the time I reached the door to the garage both the perpetrators and my long coveted ride were gone. Noooooo!!!!!

I am reaching out to the airhead community in hopes that one of you might help me recover this fine example of the BMW air cooled twin. I implore anyone who might read this, if you have any information as to where this bike or these thieving vermin (Let's call them Bonny and Clyde) might be, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Thankfully I had the presence of mind to snap this photo of the two runts astride my two-wheeled steed.

The Bike:

model: 1993 R100RS
mileage: 20K
color: blue/silver

The Perps:

Boy, 3, blonde, snotty nose, talks non-stop, shifty
Girl, 2, brunette, poopy diaper, dangerous, fantastic taste in motorcycles

Here is an older shot of the bike prior to a few subtle and tasteful changes.

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Old 02-04-2014, 08:05 PM   #2
Joined: Jan 2014
Location: KC
Oddometer: 8
I to have a beloved RS It's 78 owned since new. Good luck.\, How would you punish the perpetrators?
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:09 PM   #3
Beastly Adventurer
Joined: Sep 2010
Location: Middle GA.....Aparently....
Oddometer: 2,567
lol Nice.
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
Originally Posted by POLLOCK28 (
From what I understand from frequenting various forums you are handling this critisim completely wrong. You are supposed to get bent out of shape and start turning towards personal attacks. Get with the program!
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:40 PM   #4
Bill Harris
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Joined: Sep 2008
Location: backwoods Alabama
Oddometer: 8,502

'73 R60/5 Toaster
Luddite. Not just a philosophy, a way of life...
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Old 02-04-2014, 11:03 PM   #5
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Nelson New Zealand
Oddometer: 3,758
Yeah I've seen them before - go by the name of Knuckles & Babyface round here.
Good luck trying to find your bike- it'll be sold already & they'll be on an M&M fueled crime spree.

We're here for you brother...
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Old 02-05-2014, 04:10 AM   #6
Studly Adventurer
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Joined: Nov 2013
Location: Milford, CT
Oddometer: 839
Honestly that's the cutest thing I have seen in a long time. Little crooks..
Jim Gregory, Southern CT USA
92 R100RS, 98 VFR
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Old 02-05-2014, 04:40 AM   #7
The Bavarian Butcher
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Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Oddometer: 3,574
I have a couple of those. I thought I could teach them what a 'spanner' was and then they could help. Help they did. Disassembly became their specialty.

Fred <|> Need an Airhead Part? .... I May Have It!
'85 BMW R80RT G/Sified <|> '73 BMW R75/5 LWB <|> '94 MZ Silver Star Hack
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Old 02-05-2014, 04:42 AM   #8
52 Weeks of warm
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Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Miami, FL.
Oddometer: 1,261
Modern day Bonnie & Clyde

Sweet Jesus man !

Now they are mobil…..I can read the Gazette headlines now;

Modern Day B&C Amuck in America on an RS !

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Mae West
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Old 02-05-2014, 05:58 AM   #9
Service Monkey
Joined: Jul 2013
Location: N. Colo
Oddometer: 914
They go by Trett and Abbey in my neighborhood.
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Old 02-05-2014, 06:15 AM   #10
Beastly Adventurer
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Joined: Dec 2012
Location: North Alabama - World's Rockiest Trails
Oddometer: 1,250
This happened to me not long ago with my beloved R100GS! I followed the perp (white, male, 18 years old) for miles before finally getting him to pull over. Harrowing to say the least. He then had the gall to ask me if I would consider selling him the bike!!! (With the promise that he would pay when he came into some money.)

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Old 02-05-2014, 07:29 AM   #11
Scottish Transplant
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Joined: Mar 2010
Location: Desert Southwest - Arizona
Oddometer: 491
I had one (4 years old) wanting to help me "fix my bike". When I was finished, I could not find my 10mm wrench until i stuck a magnet down the exhaust pipe. There it was along with feeler gauges and a small screwdriver.
Cheers...John - 2004 BMW R1150GS, 1978 R100 (G/S Frankenbike)

Bikes That have Moved On:
1978 Suzuki GS550E, 1978 Kawasaki KZ1000P, 1982 Honda XL500R, 1995 BMW R1100RSL
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:11 AM   #12
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Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Road Island
Oddometer: 6,053


XS650 becomes a VT BackRoadRunner
Loving the 80ST
I love projects that take twice as much effort as should be needed. Should be an Airhead motto. (disston)
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:21 AM   #13
Just plain Pokie.
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Joined: Apr 2013
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Oddometer: 1,064
I feel your pain, I once had a two year old "help" me put in a dish washer. The tools kept disappearing. When asked where said tools were, all I got was a look of "what's a tool?" I don't know how I ever got the job done!
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:34 AM   #14
Beastly Adventurer
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Joined: Jun 2012
Location: ((kg*m)/s^2), IA, USA
Oddometer: 1,644
Originally Posted by picinisco View Post
I had one (4 years old) wanting to help me "fix my bike". When I was finished, I could not find my 10mm wrench until i stuck a magnet down the exhaust pipe. There it was along with feeler gauges and a small screwdriver.

Not sure what the draw to exhaust pipes are, but I had "help" from my 2 year old when I was working on my XR650. Thankfully the baffles in an FMF Q4 pipe won't allow a socket extension to go far enough in to lose it. But, he sure was trying!
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Old 02-05-2014, 08:50 AM   #15
Horizontally Opposed
Joined: May 2008
Location: U-puku-ipi-sing
Oddometer: 6,772
Caught In The Act

Caught this would be felon trying to figure out how to kickstart his Uncles' 69S.

After much discussion, we decided that Vruuuuuuuummmmmm, vrooooom...... worked just as well!
54' R51/3, 65' R60/2, 68' R60US, 74' Moto Guzzi Eldorado, 95' Mystic, '78 Honda Hawk...... the Axles of Evil!
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