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Old 10-14-2013, 04:17 AM   #76
Darel
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Too bad it was raining in Slovenia and shame you missed Ljubljana. Because you missed one of the most beautiful urban centers. I live in a very diverse environment with a variety of different places so you can believe that I know what I'm saying. Also you missed night life in the center by the river, cheap beer and beautiful girls
Also, you missed the whole Istria with lots of side roads and towns on hilltops ...

Yet I really enjoy in your travelogue
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:59 AM   #77
mka OP
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Yo Darel

i have been reading your reports about Slovenia and loving it all...........................amazing country...................really special..................!!!
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I will be back and spend real time there..............just scooted through this time................and the scenery was just awesome...........!!!
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cheap beer and pretty ladies................yes yes yes....................what scenery...........!!!
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problem with me is it takes a while to get to the bike then long shitty autostrada ride before i get to the good stuff.........julian alps and rivers and valleys and all that mighty outdoors life..............must make plans to just stop, sit and relax..............too often i just want to be moving.......................must get a travel partner too.
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my friend H is talking about going on a trip so might just do that.
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Anyway Darel....................mega country you have there................and so much within reach...................good riding to you.........!!
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this be a pic of my home area............no trees.................no people......................no rabbits.................no nothing.................!!!
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adijo............!!
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Old 10-14-2013, 08:37 AM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mka View Post
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.....and where pray does Shooby ride to when not in solitary confinement............is it the desert perhaps...??

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Quite astute and foretelling, Agent MKA. Matter 'o fact, heading here (Death Valley) on Wednesday as the desert is now a bit more welcoming than in the dog days of summer.

http://advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=897659

(photo from last year's ride report)


Of course, the road (Hwy 774), ends here.
What good is a ghosttown without a Saloon?
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Old 10-15-2013, 02:05 AM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mka View Post
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this be a pic of my home area............no trees.................no people......................no rabbits.................no nothing.................!!!


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Ahoy Agent Mka!!
Still here, and getting as much fun out of your reports as ever mate. Thanks for the effort!

Maybe its not always easy to spot the beauty in our local area (I spose we get used to it), but that pic there looks like a damn fine piece of tarmac to me.... I'd love to get my bike (and waterproofs!) to have a play. Looks a lot like the top of Scotland, and I suppose it would... hehe.

Cheers again, keep up the good work!
__________________
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Old 10-15-2013, 04:21 AM   #80
Darel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by windmills View Post
Ahoy Agent Mka!!
Still here, and getting as much fun out of your reports as ever mate. Thanks for the effort!

Maybe its not always easy to spot the beauty in our local area (I spose we get used to it), but that pic there looks like a damn fine piece of tarmac to me.... I'd love to get my bike (and waterproofs!) to have a play. Looks a lot like the top of Scotland, and I suppose it would... hehe.

Cheers again, keep up the good work!
I agree and I bet that those bunnies are there somewhere
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Old 10-17-2013, 05:07 AM   #81
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guzzi

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just to keep you interested in this useless written warble crap of predigested cat food
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saw this in a window in Bellano, italia...................like the style.............the gearing........the springs
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and from the other
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now get this done (talking to myselves)
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so i slide down to Sistiana with a hunger not even rabid sex could distract me from (well..............maybe..................but i was fookin hungry for sure)
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drank 3 cappuccinos, ate 2 big buns with custardy crema (tasted like runny sex) and a spremuta arancia to replenish lost vitamins.........!!!
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sat there watching the world go by and the caffeine and sugar were hitting all the right veins now..........................and relax, recharge, re whatever.
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parked here on pier, lots of ladies around taking pics, nearly went in the drink, couldnt get it out in time for the ladies (the camera that is !) so all you get is this stupid pic. sorry
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right so................i headed off up the road, next stop back to the little (!) lake d'Iseo.........had idea of going up the west side of the lake this time................so i kept her lit bypassing everywhere and on boring autostrada until i get to this town.
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yeah it was cloudy and dull and muggy and my spirits were as low too as my veins needed some suuuggggggaaa.
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so i crossed road and into 'bar sport' and ordered same shit again................excellent only thing is if you order cappuccino after 10 am in Italy you are only a lighweight prick with no culture or sense of fashion, timing or anything else and people look sideways at you as if you were some kind of perverted redneck co*ksucker out on day release from the mental.................so you can only imagine the looks i get when i order 3 capppuucccooo's................!!!!
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hahahahahahaha.......................for badness i then ordered a cafe americano when i had all finished.................i think they're still staring at me...!!
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i know, i'm easily entertained............but this is my movie we're in now.................hahahahahaha.
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so i make tracks up the side of the lake.........veins all firing nicely now.................must get a place to stay................stop in on way to Prodere.......empty looking place.............but clean..................so in i go......................lots of stuff on walls..............i guess you would call it art...........v nice.
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so now you stinky, leathery, oily, slovenly, heathens i unveil some stuff they call 'modern art' for your perusal and delight.............feel free to mingle and enjoy the wine and nibbles......................hahahahaha........... .!!
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it's like this...............i took the photos and now they're here.........up to you...........not strictly bike related but in time i will come up with a distinct correlation to this shit and bikes....................just give me some time.
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this one had small balls........but i've heard hitler 'had no balls at all'..................!!
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this buck had a face only a mother could love
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thus endeth the lesson in fine arts and such....................please leave donations on your way out.
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yeah, it was crap wasn't it........
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so now get rid of gear...............clean up...............go get fed and watered............so on up into Prodere proper...............i asked one tourist where to go and he sent me here...........f*ckin bollix..........if i ever catch up with him
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so i put my nose to the ground and eventually (not long) i came across this place
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i ordered the proverbial scabby horse, rare, chips and sauce - bistecca ai pepa verde con patatte fritte con uno litro vino rosso per favore............or summat like dat...............!!!
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shitty picture....but i tell you this......it was the best scabby horse i ate that day, for sure.
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the feelings were returning into my ould loins now and another drop of da vino and i got this to sweeten things up.
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is it me or was there a lot of powder on this tiramisu...................i didn't notice at the time as at another table near me a fine thing had dropped her napkin and was bending down to show me here assets ( i mean to pick it up).................and of course my brain headed off to where it could be happy in a fondling sort of dream.................hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............. !
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all this talk of fondling and food means i have to go and do something..................you do understand............. i'll be right back
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Old 10-17-2013, 08:21 AM   #82
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well, that didn't take too long........!!!
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so full as a butchers dog i sturggled out of the restaurant still dreaming of the lady and her napkin.
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i wandered about like a lost soul in search of some mischief to get up to but i ended up back at this spot
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did i mention that i had been here before courtesy of a tourist................oh yeah, i did.................sorry.
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it always puts me in mind of the simpsons when i see a church....................you know the episode where it is the end of the world and all the loopers in the church run out of it screaming and into Moe's tavern....................and all the loopers in Moe's run out screaming and into the church..................then comes the announcement that it was a false alarm and all the loopers go back slowly into where they had come out of in the first place...............absolutely spot on brilliant..........!!
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round the back or to the side of the church some of this was going on.........late into the night...............and it was ferocious enough but i got bored as there were no fillies about anywhere.
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and no sign of the tourist with the maggoty sense of direction either.
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then this thing started going ding f**kin dong and would not stop.......................clock on bleedin steroids..............must have been a holyish day or something.
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this house was in a sorry state, you'd think they'd either fix the bastard up or knock it down, just saying.
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i wandered about in search of life or cats or anything but all must have gone to bed............so i went back to mine.
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spotted this big yoke in the hall.............i think it was set up in Lira's.....................but i was too wrecked to look or care............
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watched some german channel............bit of porn on it but otherwise it was ok..................fell asleep mit meinen handen hochen und meinen fraulein in mir bett unter der linten...............the vino was well through me by then...................guten nacht.
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next morning i awoke stiffly......................(cover must have fallen off me in the night and i was cold)(meinen fraulein had gone back to her people and i was all alone)..............except for him (not now)
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so i got on the road..................nice looking day................no one about
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couple of lake pictures to follow..................i had to get off the bleedin bike to take them so i would appreciate some fe*ckin appreciation.
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and a couple more seeing as i bothered to take them too.
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and a couple of happy men doing their thing.
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i was to go to bottom of lake (not the bottom bottom, the south bottom) and go right or west making my way back to the beginning again..........so i pondered stopping somewheres on the way.................was thinking maybe Bergamo old city......................so mind made up i headed this way.............on the back roads only as i was fed up of the big road and stopping for tolls etc etc..............i just wanted a quiet time this day at least.
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saw this way way up side of a mountain....................how and why, mostly why build a church up there........?? i dont get it.................but i'm beginning to think i have a bit of a preoccupation with churches and such.....................believe me there's good reason, but another day perhaps.
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i also stopped further along at this site, i thought it might be a war memorial or something like that, no, it was a graveyard or cemetary, very fancy.........i thought you would like to see how the other half lie (for eternity !)
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on to Bergamo............big city................how do i get to the old centre, way up that big hill...............traffic going like ninety............all one ways...................bugger this..........i just aimed her in the right direction................horns blaring...............fists raised................usual friendly drivers......................and in no time at all there i was.
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i parked here only to get a pic for you to see..........and got a right bollicking for my efforts.............i pleaded the fifth, the sixth and almost but not quite the seventh before telling the ould fu*ker to stick it up his ass.........turns out - he was a big of a vagrant with a bad attitude, and mother of god, in a city of millions i can attract them like bees to fu*kin honey.
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and this wee house was just across the road.................i knocked but i could probably still be knocking.............i wasn't going to get tea in that place i'm thinking.
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me nuts were like acorns and me arse was killing me cos i went into the old city part and it's all cobblestones and slippery.............not used to this at all
but i persevered until all parts south had been numbed to the point of no return...............then i stopped............got off and walked about.............well, walk is too definite a term for what i was at...............more a hobble and a swing of the good leg...........the quasimodo kind of walking if you get my drift.........and eventually i was really walking.............if you had seen it you would have laughed your holes at me and then you would have gasped at the miracle appearing right in front of your eyes...........he was walking upright...............!! alleluia
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possible site of the miracle at Bergamo
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the now famous city gates of the city of miracles
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i signed a few autographs and made my way through the crowds waving at the cheering masses, it was a sight to behold atop this beautiful city in the bright morning sunlight. few who witnessed the scene realised then what significance this moment would have in their lives and in the lives of future generations who would roam the earth searching for answers, searching for redemption. and it came to pass, i needed a drink, so i left the crowds and meandered the city streets in search of peace and coffee and maybe a wee shot of something.............and lo i found it...............and it was good.
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after this i walked about unknown and saw many bikes..........some very nice indeed and some a bit battered.
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daytona
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and old bessie the tractor herself..............by the old city walls....god she has a big arse doesn't she............but then, if you're into that, you know.
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gotta go now and shoot leaves...............next up is a small bit of a history lesson related to life in an Italian town in the long long ago.
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ciao
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Old 10-19-2013, 04:38 AM   #83
mka OP
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Bergamo......city of miracles.

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"history history history" as my old history teacher used to say at the start of every lesson.....................anything he said after this is lost to me cos i would fall almost instantly to sleep.....................i'm afraid to say i never outgrew this little problem....................in the past at conference or lecture or any of that kind of thing I would be the life and soul until I had to sit down and someone started to talk/teach/lecture......................instantly asleep.........drooling...........slipping off chair..or head on desk...............just as if i was hypnotised.....................that and some other things is why i'm as thick as a plank................so there you go..........!
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ok.............i'll give this a rattle anyway.................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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the Visconti family/famaiglia/people ruled in Bergamo from roughly 1333 to 1428 a.d. but they were toppled/beat/kicked out eventually by the Venetians and their republic (these guys were the biggies and would be for a while, they had a kind of democracy of sorts and were controlled by a 'doge' who in some ways was as powerful as the papa in Roma.
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anyways...........one of the Visconti's built the 'citadel' here, begun in 1379, but it was used as a barracks for troops etc.............it was known as
'Hospitium Magnum'.............!
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the above is called the Visconteo portico and has 'ogee' arches.
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above we see
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and
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these towers face inwards onto the piazza della citta...........!!
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the citadel now houses the museum of natural science (museo di scienze naturali enrico caffi) and the museum of archaeology (museo archeologico)...!!
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so that's your lot...............end of history lesson.................wake the f*ck up please...................it's over.
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i'm thinkin' that you're thinkin' 'this must be a fairly clever bastard'.........you would be wrong on that one i'm afraid..............quite wrong..............in facto you couldo beo no moro wrongo if you tried................o.
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there's always an explanation, isn't there, always............
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mine involved a bus full of young ladies mid twenties up - to my educated eyes - it was an incredible sight, it was quite literally the second miracle of Bergamo that very day............and i had witnessed both.
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these girls were Italian.........my god they were Italian in every way you could be Italian................you get the drift..........
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they wandered round the area looking like a batch of gods finest creations done up in different styles, just laughing and smiling and being.............i was 'agog'..!!
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not sure of the meaning of 'agog' but it seemed to me an appropriate word.
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oh god to be the bus driver...........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...!!
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anyway with my deep and keen interest in history I had to read all the historical information many many times.......absorbing it thru a haze of perfume, love, lust and total happiness..............hmmm.......history had never been like this before................i remember very little of the day to day stuff of life......but i remember every detail of that perfect moment in time, when everything combined to create that scene of perfectness, every curve, every bump, every scent, every smile and every other thing about this historical miracle............
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these old old city walls had witnessed many things over many centuries i'm sure.......but this scene, well, it was for all of time, for it was only perfect, it was truly a magnificient happening................................and it was just a group of girls, alive and vital and full of joy and fun.
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i was smitten, repeatedly and brutally smitten................and i can guarantee there is not a red blooded male who would not have been.
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sorry about that diatribe but it needed airing as it was fairly festering in my head..............i feel better.........thank you again ADV for releasing this from within.
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so, at some stage I found myself wandering about and finally coming to..................i had to move on from this amazing morning.....so i departed but looked back at those beautiful city gates and the miracles it contained.
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I headed west.......following a star in the western sky.................and soon I had arrived at another shrine
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the shrine of..................the shrine of the GUZZI
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Old 10-25-2013, 07:23 AM   #84
mka OP
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(man, i have a bug up my ass about moving on the 1200gs for a tiger explorer or ducati multistrada.................tried to do deal in norn ireland but royal pain as it is different country, different everything and yet much the same................so i'll have to wait and see......................and calm the f*ck down too)
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(it's a bit like that with the women too.........the one you've got you don't see...............the one you want is going to be perfect............she'll fit you better, she'll go faster, she'll roar louder, she'll be easier handled at speed and she'll look f*ckin great when you are on top of her...............!!!)
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sorry, about the slowness of this thread..............the ould brain seems to need more and more guinness/oil/lubrication these days.
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soooooo, Guzziland was where I was headed and on a high I was with it.....thinkin' about the history of it all (more knowledge picked up while hanging round street corners staring at curvy things)
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this be in piazza Leonardo da Vinci in Mandello del Lario.......................statue is not long put there........couple of years tops i think............bust of the main man
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Carlo and his flying buddy Giorgio Parodi along with another mate agreed to set up a bike company after finishing flying duties in WWI...............ended up it was only Carlo and Giorgio..................they got all started with loan from Giorgio's pop...............and in between chasing skirt round lake como they got her up and running...............the other friend was killed near end of the war in flying accident...................his name was Giovanni......and the lads honoured him by putting the eagle's wings on their logo.........!!!
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truth be told, Carlo Guzzi actually never owned any part of the company......................he got commission etc for every bike sold.....and their main interst it seems was racing..............why not...........!! and it was called after Carlo cos Giorgio's dad didn't want anyone to know he was bank rolling it cos the Parodi's were very wealthy and secretive too...........!!!
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picked up this info form a big chested local girl in a back alley near the piazza..................jesus, she was a mine of information and such.............i could hardly shut her up until I showed her my interest was really in her assets not moto guzzis assets...........then we came to an understanding as such..stripping assets and all
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sorry, be back in a blink
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:14 AM   #85
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so, Mandello del Lario..........................this be high on the list of places for the guzzi'ista's and damn fine place it is too.
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this is the dealership of the town and they have some beauties here.................there was a big drool stain down the front of my jacket last time i walked outta here..................some sweet motors indeed.
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climbing back upon my tractor really did hit home this time but someday it will be remedied...........and anyway looking isn't a crime.................is it ?
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there is a very nice lady who works in a bank here and it was time for me to do a withdrawl.........................hmmmmmmmmmmm.... ......!!!
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there were plenty of Guzzi's around the area at this time................i think the previous week there was a big get together for anniversary or such
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after my withdrawl i figured i'd head on up to the wee town/villagio of Varenna as i now had a bit of a hunger on me.................the heat, the bikes, the bank, the lust, the whole lot contrived to give me such a bloody headache..................wanted for caffeine/ibuprofen/sugar buns(my bankers real name)/vino - in any order at all.
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so............stopped at a bar sport to ingest all of the above...............mixing the drugs is sometimes a real good thing, sometimes not...........on this occasion it was fine.
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made my way along shore for bit to eat.........sure beats the drive up to the micky d's drive thru, don't ya think !
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round the corner...............and soon the golden arches came into sight................!!!
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so i settled myself in to a seat taking in a view of the big shopping mall across the way
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pretty soon i was tucking into my 'royale with cheese' / 'mac and fries', you get the drift dude........................!!!
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i was feeling a bit flush so said to masself what the heck.................i'll go all in and have a mc flurry and a cup of jo...................!!!
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while waiting on my mc flurry to appear i could not help overhearing the next table chit chat..............!!
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now it is time to go off on one, i am asking you to bear with me cos this was a fu**kin' unbelievable conversation i was hearin'..................truth is i don't give a dump
what people talk about, who people talk about or even the why or the how...............i just want some fu*kin' peace and quiet.
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i'm digesting my happy meal, as you do, quietly, and anticipating the forthcoming flurry thing when this crowd sits down next table over................i f*ckin knew before a word was uttered that i'd be gettin' an earful.
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there was 4 of them................2 gay men and another man and a woman.................now, people can wear whatever, none of my beeswax, but this was
like circus dickless maximus..........!!! stay cool..............yeah...............ignore it all....................chill man.................so i do, stay cool and ignore it...........but
no...........these fu*ks wanted to entertain the world they were so loud.................sounded like one was irish (the only gay in the village, and he would have to be on his f*ckin holidays here.........!!) the others definitely english................!! see, i'm setting it up like a poirot novel (nancy drew to the americans here)
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the dress code was definitely WHITE................and TIGHT..................my big mac was starting to resurface..........!!
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the talk was loud, brash, snobby, arrogant, harsh, rude, and it totally fu*ked me up..................it was not possible to ignore..............a german couple got up and moved away...........and i don't think they could even understand the chat.........!!
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talk of private hospitals..........sexual ills and dieases..........big bank accounts..........dollars............turkey (the country, i think, if not god knows what they had done to the poultry).............goin' to the toilet/having a crap etc etc..............it was loud and it was disgusting................the fries could again see daylight at the back of my mouth.............!!
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they discussed men, their wants, needs and even warts...............toilet talk..........even how one had the strength to open a jar of jam/jelly.........!!!
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i was at this stage in a bit of a rage...................but i kept cool............speaking of which the owner of the cafe was taking down one of the sun umbrellas as it was a bit cold and windy..........to give some sun heat.................when baldy fuck shouts in his best upper crust, public school, camp voice............'stop, stop, you silly little man...............stop it at once'
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((the following picture is just to keep the bike thing front and centre in your mind while your senses are being assaulted by this shit))
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((think manly man things................engines........petrol....... ..grease, no not grease...............oil, no not oil either.............maps, yes maps are good)) (( and carburettors...........yes, they are good too.....................))
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the cool red blooded Italian gives a shrug as if saying.......................fu*k you, you freakin pervert..................and continues with his task.
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baldy says 'i say you awful man................stop this at once..................i do not want to get sun on my face...........i've just had a peel (?) for gods sake...........!!'
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by now the others joined in gleefully..............shouting up in their excitement at this rude uncaring man who was so shockingly obnoxious...........could he not see that our friend just had a peel (?)
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i'm trying to keep calm but really i want to 'peel' that fu*kers face off his head and stuff it up his oily hole..................but instead............i breathe slowly and quietly.........and calmly.
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the owner has had a bagful by now and storms off up through the cafe and off to the bar i guess.............man but he was pissed off.
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the table of whiteness, having won the battle of the umbrella, sat and stroked each other at the ghastliness of foreigners and how so very difficult it was to get
good waiters and staff these days.........how little manners were valued anymore.................how they would redecorate their apartment in the new shade of beige everyone was talking about.......and how their friend 'tarquin' had bought a little bolthole on the fu*kin' bosphorus in which he could unwind after the strains of fashion week..................!!!
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i stood up and had projectile vomit swoosh forth from my mouth all over their white D & G 'ness......................i then wiped my mouth with a lovely clean linen napkin..................asked for the 'il conto'/bill/check...................paid up and exited stage right...................!!
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such a f*ckin' handlin' that was....................and dear reader...........it's all true (well, except for the very last bit, perhaps)................after all...............you just couldn't make that shit up...............!!
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soon those 'beastly rotters' up and left and took their big fu*kin notions with them all the while driving all within earshot to total distraction..........so i figured i would take a few pics of the said restaurant.......for you reader..............just so that you will know it when you are in the area..........as it is really the best of the best........c for uself..!
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i just hope that when you visit, if you are sat next to a table of 4 all dressed in white, that you just smile and wave, just smile and wave.............!!
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as this is not just a fashion forum/blog thing i thought i better put something manly in like a bike or such
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gotta run................i was about to explain that i have to iron my newly washed white linen jacket and matching cravat............all the while trying to get a stain out of my pink chinos.........................but i know that you would probably believe me................hahahahahahahaha................ .!!
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"..................it will get better man, i'm sure it will get better....................but until it does..........i'm just gonna itch it man"
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Old 10-25-2013, 09:38 AM   #86
Shooby
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Quote:
...............i just want some fu*kin' peace and quiet.
.......
but this was
like circus dickless maximus..........!!!


I give this rant a 9.5! Would've hit a perfect 10 with pics of regurgitated McFlurry in their white Linened laps!
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Old 11-05-2013, 08:48 PM   #87
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spins, trips, rants, raves, fotos, messin around and all that kinda stuff....

Maybe it's just me......................
But it seems every time I make a(nother) smartass post here.....................,,,
..........there's a looooooiong delay before Agent MKA's next report.....,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,..
.........,,,,,,,,,,, gathering intel ? Delving deeper into the underground? ..,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Come on Man!.........,. Throw us a bone here!
Even if it's just another image of one of your beautiful, brainless*, lumbering bovine............,
.........,..starting to develop a complex here...,,.....

* - I worked on a dairy for awhile. Sorry, but......,,,,...... Cow's is dumb.............
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Old 11-07-2013, 01:22 AM   #88
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 200
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undercover......................

southern germany......................

mid size industrial city.......................

backstreets.............

on trail of known counter espionage mastermind.................................

links to arms dealing.............................

and sometimes even legs dealing...........................

has been known to bureau for some time............................

good friend JB put me on high alert of his whereabouts...................

moved to bavarian forests at 0800.....................

hot on his trail...........................

have voice recognition monitors from f-16s.......................

he is here........................

heat sensors put him third tree from left of visual below.................

superb disguise.......................

awaiting go ahead for kill.................................




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..............'treadstone'.................?
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Old 11-07-2013, 04:50 AM   #89
windmills
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Oooooh, now you have gone and done it Shooby...
__________________
... michael
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Old 11-07-2013, 08:03 AM   #90
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