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Old 12-16-2013, 09:41 AM   #106
mka OP
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Joined: Oct 2012
Location: Ireland
Oddometer: 168
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i had a mission to make contact with another who had jumped ship from a sub just off the north coast of ireland................he was supposedly disguised as a local
country singer and would be passing himself off as such. all i knew is his handle was 'dod'

so early october last i set out to make contact from my base high in the sligo hills...................the intel was sparse on this mission but i've been sent on worser and
badderer ones !

first stop was to get a drink....................i know i'm off it and all that but sometimes, well sometimes it just helps................so i stopped here
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rat a tat tat and hey presto, in you go........................just a quick one gets the cold outta the body..........................and off up the road
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roundabouts here, well anything goes on them.........(traffic circles to you muricans) and this one was no dafter than any other
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wtf...............a dancing wave with arms and a boat on top.............!!!

and some dumbfu*k probably got a fortune to come up with this totally bollixed idea.
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two scoops later (quick as a flash) i was in donegal town and contemplating 'dod's disguise...................this part of the country is crammed full of wannabee
country singers...............and most have not a single note in their fu*kin heads................so he'd surely blend in................but how would i find him ?
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castle in donegal........................bastard crow/bird got in my pic.................no manners these birds, none, eat anything.............shit anywhere birds
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a little education here 'as gaeilge'................and no, it's not 'ulster scots' - although a galloping horse would have a hard time separating them.
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this be a great eating house 'la bella donna'.................genuine local italian fare..............seriously it's is brilliant. but at this hour it was still closed. next time.
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onwards up the quiet road.........i was contemplating again, this time i was thinking on the seasons, how spring and summer boil the blood in the veins, short skirts and long looks causing vexatious thoughts to unravel in the head and other places.............how autumn and winter it's much the same but not quite as often..........how you end up with distractions as harvest time, hallo'ween, christmas and new year.................and then the whole mad festival kicks off again !
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stopped to get a pic looking back at the sligo hills in the background
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beautiful slippy slidy smooth roads guided me onwards
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and the occasional cottage to admire on the way....................today was going to be a good good day, i could feel it in my trousers, it could be a great day..........the sap was rising and the mood was doing the same thing.............hmmmmmmmmmmmmm !
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sometimes i get asked
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what does go on in your head, what does go on in there............often i get asked this and it is difficult to explain..........it is lovely in there sometimes, really really happy..............and then it can be so so dark................the dark never disappears, i see it always and if i can concentrate away from it things are fine.............think of bikes, girls, drink, food and repeat three times daily !
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and rat a tat tat again........open sesame
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no country and western singers in here, at least not right now.
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so i finish up and move on out.................i'll soon be in gaeltacht country, wild, beautiful and moody, and that's just the ladies.
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and before you ask, no it's still not 'ulster scots'
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this be the toon of 'dungloe' or as we call it 'an clochan liath'......................hmmmmmmmmmmm!
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so, now we are getting remoter and remoter.

the pic below shows what we call 'turf' before stuff turns to coal, even before it turns to lignite it is rotten decomposed vegetation and if cut out and dried
we can burn it, smoke it and rub it all over to get all kinds of cures from ailments you can't even imagine.
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no sign of stetsons or horses or cowboy boots yet, in fact so sign of very much at all, just the land all around.
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'keep her country '............. be back in a flash ......
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:09 AM   #107
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
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flash over......................it was good for me...........hmm.............not so good for others
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so, soon i was entering a very built up area and stopped to admire the beautiful houses and mansions which pervade (?) the area
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some of these 'ranches' have magnificient views
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the mood was good indeed and it felt like i was on day release from the mental...............a bit like a giddy freedom i was not accustomed to but really liked the
taste of nontheless...................it was like being at my first dance/disco/rave (delete as appropriate) and seeing stuff/bits/skirt that i'd only previously dreamed of..........the memories flood back !
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each of the wee houses/tighins must have such history of long forgotten families and love and all that manifests itself between four walls............it freaks me that
all of it is lost or has slipped away or has emigrated to other lands and fades in mists of time.

but still no sign of the man in cowboy boots...........hmmm
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and a wee hoose not yet abandoned..............there might be a fine thing in there who might have the kettle on for to give a passing stranger a wee cup o tae ! and maybe a chat a biscuit or even a bit of some sweet cake............well, of course i did the usual rat a tat tat.............and, oh but thats another story !
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i now enclose some signs for your perusal (just filler really but someone somewhere might have a fetish for a sign, so this one's for you bud !)
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now, fetish sign man, you owe me ! and before any of you numpties ask, no, it's not 'ulster scots' !
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after the very nice cup of tea and such i went on my way and soon, too soon i had to stop..............the itch was at me.....wtf
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so i pulled up, got off and 'strained the spuds' 'drained the lizard (?) ...had to admire the view as it snaked in front of/behind me. hahahahahaha
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with my mission in mind it was imperative (!) i scan the coastal areas first in hope of finding some clues as to the whereabouts of my quarry . with that i made my way to the sea, to the sea, to the sea.
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first 'port of call'
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nothing much shaking here, at least from what i could see
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stetson man might be in among all this...........so i did my secret whistle.................only thing i ris was a couple of sleepy seals, time to mosey
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thought to myself to make some kind of inquiries in order to assertain the whereabouts of 'boots' so i tentatively plied a few polite words here 'in san oifig an phoist'.

the wee cailin/girl inside was ag caint gaeilge/speaking the mother tongue and after a few pleasantries/cupla focal i came away out thinking.......thats another other story too !
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the upshot of our chat was that the place would be covered in stetsons come sundown, after all this was the wild west, and most fancy themselves as country singers...........! mother of god, how would i find him now.
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on out along the wild coast goes i, in search of gods knows who in god knows where..................and there's a fair bit of coast to search.
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zooming in and zooming out all along the way
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and zooming in again................no, nothing, nothing at all
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when, all of a sudden, in my sights i see something....................mighty stuff...............except................except it looks female..................man, what a disguise...............smart thinking 'boots'....................
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so i slip down to 'boots' and introduce myself, talking away, then i notice she/he can't hear me cos of the headphones.............i think to myself stupidly, why not try the old crocodile dundee introduction method...............no sooner had i dropped my hand than i got a punch in the kisser..............smack............i fell back a little and slowly, ever so slowly it dawned on me maybe this wasn't 'boots' at all, maybe it was a female afterall, and maybe i better beat a retreat from this ever so slightly embarrassing situation.
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i explained myself as best i could to the nice lady as gaeilge and soon it became apparent to her that yes, i must be on day release indeed !
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going to have a cup of tea now to warm up, perhaps a biscuit/cookie also. me hands are going numb from writing this drivel.
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Old 12-21-2013, 02:41 AM   #108
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
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well, after extricating myself from that situation in the best possible manner i had to move on quickly as the nice lady was having none of it.
no excuses and she was off as fast as her legs could carry her to the local garda to lodge a complaint of harassment !
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another fine mess was brewing. i was hoping the said garda would be sleeping off a hangover someplace where he shouldn't be, but i
had no time to waste, i was on a mission, so i gathered up all my thoughts and slipped out of the village.
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much coastline awaited me, i had assumed 'dod' would not have gone inland as it was a bit like 'injun' territory and he might have met
with an untimely end or gone mad with drink or ended up smoking pipes or some other untrue depiction of said peoples !
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the day was turning out fine and despite my australian handshake backfire i was in fine fettle.
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i was actually coming to the conclusion about the slight misdeamenor , to 'misquuote' shakespeare, "methinks perhaps the lady doth protesteth too much"...............but i wasn't that sure and didn't want to return to find a big, thick, red necked, semi sober, grumpy, fat, overgrown, bolshy guard looking for me !....................so i carried on regardless !
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soon i would be approaching a wildish place called 'bloody foreland' so named for all the foreign blood we spilt there on the wild rocks overlooking the atlantic.......................actually not really, just a bit of oirish romantic nonsense there.
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it was needle in the haystack time
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and of course, the obligatory bike pic
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i know youse are all thinkin' jaysus that's lovely countryside there isn't it just beautiful...................well, listen here, four words i give you.
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..................the four words.................."you can't fu*kin' eat it"
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one or two of you geniuses will maybe have noticed an error in the count of words, if so keep it to your fu*kin self..!
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now for the weekly competition.
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this week i want you to count the number of stones in the following picture. first prize this week is an all expenses paid night out with
the guard mentioned above, second prize is two nights with him and third is three nights, no fourth prize as he's not that kind of guard !
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good luck to you all, here goes
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answers on a postcard please to: 16b upper main street, down the same street, inner outer london town, hingland we11 p1ss.
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while travelling round bloody foreskin i couldn't help but notice so many houses littering the luvly inedible landscape. some say it is a
blight on the area, i would say mind your own fu*kin business, but then not many ask me. i present an argument for and against the
motion.
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now
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this is what it used to be like...................nice too i suppose
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i carried on further, still no sign of a stetson, so i stopped often to breathe in and out and got to wondering how did some arch genius
scientist ever think up what we now call a motorbike, how did he foresee the pleasures such a thing would bring. how indeed. anycase i salute and
thank you sir.
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onwards
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this was a likely hideout i was thinkin' but nope, he's not here. couldn't help but notice the varying roofing styles incorporated here on
the dwelling......hmmmmmmmmmmm !
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it's cold here right now..............me hands............me hands they just seize/cease up...........gotta go get tea...........
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last pic for today of warmer times................i've gotta try write me letter to santy now
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if you don't know who 'santy' is, well, he's a big, round, german buck who, if he wants, can give you lots of nice things, depending on if
you've been a nice little europeeon or a naughty europeeon (that's us paddies)..............you'll know him when you see him, he always wears red and
white and slopes about in black wellies with a big fu*kin arrogant grin on him like he won the fu*kin' war (well, i suppose he did really
or it sure feels like he did) ! ho ho ho muggerfugger !
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Old 12-21-2013, 03:53 AM   #109
windmills
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Location: London
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Still here!

Bloody hell, your neck of the woods looks beautiful.
Thanks for keeping up the words and pictures thing, as enjoyable as always. I think your photography may even be getting better. Great stuff.

Happy Christmas to you and yours, and a big old "Yo, Ho Ho" from your London correspondent.
__________________
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Old 12-21-2013, 04:03 AM   #110
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
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santy !

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the following is a picture of aforementioned buck called santy
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do not be fooled, he is armed and dangerous, he creeps into houses and childrens rooms with the promise of nice things to lure you
into a sense of happiness. he will then shaft you financially and go laughing all the way home to the bank.
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he wears a red and white hoodie suit and his footwear being the black nazi jackboots or wellies
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with his smile and soft eyes and gold rimmed glasses, his gentle accent, this man will crush and bankrupt your country in a hearbeat, he is corrupt to
his core, his only care is money and power and he aims to control europe and eventually the world.
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you have been warned, this individual is as mad as a box of frogs - do not engage
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Old 12-21-2013, 04:48 AM   #111
mka OP
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to windmills

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this neck of the woods is mad bad and wild windmills
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took/taken last weekish in a blinding storm..............mega !
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the very best of christmas cheer to you and yours ! looking forward to longer evenings already and it's the shortest day.
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i'm afraid this drivelly snivelly rant must continue in order to keep my drug bills down, so i beg your perseverance.
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these pics are of a wee place way, way out there on the west coast, a harbour and an abandoned famine village from mid 1800's, a very sad
and melancholy place, it is literally miles from any place.
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seasons greetings, deck the halls, and all good cheer, hark the herald and glory to the new born king !
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Old 12-21-2013, 01:03 PM   #112
Bendernz
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Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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And the best of Christmas cheer to you and yours. The short two weeks I spent in your fine country were among the most memorable of my life, well remembered they are.
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Old 12-22-2013, 05:06 AM   #113
mka OP
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letter to santy written and sent up the chimney...............hmmmmmmmmmmmmm !
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anyways hands a bit warmer now so onward with this wandering minstrel show.
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i passed through a small valley with pinkish rock (pic does not do it justice) and here was this ould buck on the roadside and he was dancing !
he must have been eighty or ninety and all scraggly unshaven hippy look goin' on, dancing away a wee jig on the side of the road.
all alone here he was lost in the music inside his head.............it was quite something to witness, i felt i was intruding on some very
private scenario, so i kept my head down and passed him by ever so slowly...............he never looked up, he was just lost in the beauty of
his dance.
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i couldn't bring myself to actually stop and take a pic of this surreal going on, it would have broken the spell so i just moseyed on.
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back out on the bleak coast nothing was stirring, not even a mousie, nothing to eat here even for a mousie.
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i was making my way towards 'horn head' - i know what you are all thinking, first bloody foreskin and now horn head - it's a paddy thing
i suppose, catholic guilt all mixed up with base desires and something has to give !
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Old 12-22-2013, 08:34 AM   #114
henderson
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to be continued?

rave on.....it's good for both of us
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Old 12-22-2013, 11:27 AM   #115
Chris K
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Location: Northumberland, UK.
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Just caught up.
Yer cracked man, in a good way.

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Old 12-23-2013, 02:23 AM   #116
mka OP
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come aboard

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welcome 'Chris K' and 'Henderson'
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"come aboard the good ship muggerfugger............'all the way up....................to caledonia' 'come aboard' in the days before rock and roll
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telefunken, telefunken, down on my knees with those wireless knobs..................AFN stars of jazz..........and we let the goldfish go
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come back paddy reilly
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !"
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so there i was having witnessed the magic of 'michael flateley' doin' his thang and looking around seeing how lonely a place this was........how we live here and you there and all that crap..............when i spotted out in the sea an island, see below
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i mean this must be a handlin, livin out there, no point in having a bike out there, the only thing you'd be riding out ther would be a sheep and that would probably get fairly boring after a couple of years (i'm guessing on this one !)
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next stop was to be a place called, yes, it's called Dunfanaghy..............!!! it means fort of the blonde warrior as gaeilge............i would have liked to meet this blonde warrior, i'm sure she would have been a fine thing too, then again she might have been a he, and that would
have put a different gloss on it altogether. and no, still no sign of bootsie yet.
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on the way into 'blonde warriors fort' you pass an old building called 'the workhouse', this was a fine idea crafted by the 'noblemen' of the day to create a place where families could go on a holiday to get away from it all during our famine times.
these holiday resorts were built
all over this fair land and were very successful akin to the Thomas Cook of today. families were split up and segregated as part of the holiday atmosphere, one of the most popular activities for the men was 'rock breaking', something like todays 'spinning' and there was a graveyard
close by for the ones who just wouldn't play ball. all in all these places did very well and were always full but since the advent of the package holiday they really have just gone the way of butlins and mosney etc..............but the memories linger nonetheless.
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as you can see in picture above, the architecture was, in its day, remarkable. After this tour down memory lane i saddled up and rode on towards horny head passing some nice vistas indeed.
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not many out and about, but this was normal enough, more sheeps than peoples thesehereparts.
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there are a few dogs though but they walk many a weary mile before they find a tree to pish against, it's a tough life for a dog here.
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little bump on the hill in the distance..............'blondie warrior' buried up there !?
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and eventually the horn...............note the fine artistic work upon the beautiful building............this remains, to this day, one of our great national treasures.
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feel free to write in on the meaning of these hieroglyphics (!)
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some say it should be read upside down, others back to front, and even more say there are letters missing !
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whatever, just like the ancient egyptians, the history may be lost through the long passage of time.
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i'm away for tea, no, coffee, no, tea, no, coffee...........................aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................!!!!
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Old 12-23-2013, 04:11 AM   #117
mka OP
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arais aris...back again
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ended up having a hot whiskey as it's so cold and bloody damp. this country is fu*ked up. it can be 7 degrees celsius and feel like 17 below.
point of fact, i have polish friends who, used to minus 20, were so cold in this country ended up moving back to Poland cos they couldn't stand the cold !! it's cos of the damp/humidity, it's almost 100% at all times, even in the summer...........like i said f****d up !
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as you can see there is very little horny on horn head.........i throw in a few pics to prove the point.
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and the obligatory one with bike included.
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by now i was getting a bit of a hunger on me but no shops or cafes or pubs nearby..............says i to myself i'll scoot round the bend and on back into blonde warriorville.............twere a nice scoot.
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looking northish
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and downish
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and westish
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finally things were looking uppish
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i slightly overdid the job in here.............let's just say the goonness was gooodish ! and the other food was fine too !
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after a bit of a walk up and down the 'town' i climbed aboard once more, having inquired inside about singing cowboys. bike was a slight bit wobbly, now i mean only a slight bit wobbly, but soon it settled itself. i would head for the next pier/fishing port along the way. the mood was
good i have to say, and the odd burp of gooness satisfaction cropped up now and again to remind me how lucky i am !
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scanning the roadside nothing seemed out of place, maybe this was really a wild goose chase, treadstone......
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nothing unusual here
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and here looked pretty normal also, so what to do ?
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in this country of ours (actually now owned by germany and euroooope), so i state 'ours' in the loosest possible terms, well in this place, if we can't find something we pray, we pray like mad (some of us, some of us don't, no disrespect to either party, no puns, innuendos or nothing)

and the prayers are sent directly to the house of saint anthony, yes big tony is THE man regarding lost things (once when i lost my sanity
i prayed heartily to tony and eventually he sent me sanity, unfortunately it wasn't my sanity he sent me, but thats another story)
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so, while atop me horsie and burping merrily along the way i started to pray, to pray to tony, to help me find what i was looking for...............many deckets (?) of the rosary were mumbled out into me helmet.....the odd time i'd spot a fine thing in a car i'd have to
start off again, but i was surely putting them deckets together..............and as they say the more deckets the more prizes.
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well, this buck tony/anthony/saint anto, whatever his name, well he must have a good sense of humour, cos i found myself stopped and when the vision cleared within me helmet..........what do you think i was looking at.
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this buck, with his arms outstretched, and the placard underneath reading "will ya look at the fu*kin size of me fu*kin sleeves !"
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well, i had to hand it to tony, he got me good, but i was laughing and that's always a good thing
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Old 12-24-2013, 01:40 PM   #118
Shooby
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Location: San Diego
Oddometer: 566
Agent MKA...............

Thanks for Spinning Trips ...........
Your Raving Rants, ...............
And your Gaelic quips.............

Nollaig Shona Duit!


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Old 12-28-2013, 02:38 PM   #119
bastchild
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Laugh

great cumulative ride report and photos! had me laughing quite a bit!
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Old 12-29-2013, 05:45 AM   #120
mka OP
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Location: Ireland
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burn, baby, burn

...just like the slow boat to china......this is taking forever.........apologies...........much to say......not sure how.........keepin' on...!!
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well shooby dooby do.............nollaig freisin duit dude !...............and good to meet, bastchild........buenos dias senor e senorita !
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i started to smell a smoky kinda smell as i stood there, bike between my legs, and thought...........the bike..........tyres....??
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so i hopped off and took me lid/helmet off, nope bike looks ok, but the smell was much worse now, acrid smoke, not good.
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looking around i could only see some buildings but no smoke............what is going on ?
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then i noticed some people pointing at the bike and backing away ?
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so i check it again, nothing, but the smell was putrid by now ?
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then i realised, the smell was from me, i was the one smoking, my ass was almost alight, so i run into the grass, roll around, and it does the trick...........!!
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then the penny dropped as the smoke cleared and i could see round me.................the buildings.........aaahhhhhh........i was on holy ground.........!!!
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up like frig, and away like a mad thing, fast as i could go, out through the gates and finally the acrid smell relinquished its grip of my nostrils, soon i was breathing clear air and the pulse slowed.
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this is what caused the whole thing to kick off...............hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm !
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i was so caught up in the hunt for boots and then seeing the buck in the toooo big onesie that i hadn't realised i had stepped upon
hallowed sacred ground, and well, that's another story altogether.
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i made my way back to safety and things started to ease.
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i stopped again further on my trail, searching near and far, but nothing was rising.....this was turning out to be some sort of false expedition.
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i hummed along to ......."in the month of may, in the city of paris, i heard the bells ring, in the month of may and i called out your
name"........"just to pass the time, just to pass the time"
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got close to this place............kind of holy graveyard............not too close though............had enough of that for one day.
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asked around only to be told he had been this way alright and had used a boat to get to the other side so i followed the directions and eventually came upon this
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no sign of anything else, by now i was fed up, tired, and pissed off as i had had no caffeine for at least thirty minutes.........so i said bollox to this and headed on home................i had had a good day out but had failed again in my search...........met some nice people..........saw some fine things and sights too...........almost combusted..........but it was time, yes it was time to go.
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i hared outta there and opened her up to the good time revs, just dug in, lay down, and listened to the sweet sweet duet, that is, the triple and the arrow pipe playing together on a sunny evening in the way way back of beyonds........i was ravin' on.
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as i neared the homeplace i pulled in, blood racing thru me, stopped, just to hear the cooling engine and smell the rubber....i was happy !
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i had to clean the visor a bit too.
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