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Old 07-19-2013, 04:26 PM   #46
Blader54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by selkins View Post
Wow! Cleanest windscreen I have ever seen!
Windscreen? Oh hey, I had to go back and look again.....that's how clean it is.
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Old 07-19-2013, 08:04 PM   #47
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Back at Motel 666, all I wanted to do was crash for the night. I already knew that the room wouldn't stand up to any sort of scrutiny...it smelled of angst and desperation...the towels were thin and yellowed...the carpet had a wet spot...and the bedspread had been used during the production of a scat film. I stripped back the covers to take a look at the sheets before getting into bed...

hairs that do not belong to me...check
little black flecks that may or may not have been bed bugs...check
blood stain...check
weird water stain that looks like Jesus...check
moth holes...check

Mike was cracking up. He committed to stripping his entire bed and sleeping in his rain suit. He mistakenly pulled a sheet a little too far and caught sight of the mattress...HOLY CRAP! There were so many stains on the mattress...it was almost comical. I'm absolutely sure that at least one baby had been born on that mattress and at least 2 more people had died. I cranked up the AC and snuggled up with my filthy pillows. We laughed and laughed. Mike was absolutely sure he wouldn't sleep one minute of the night. I was out cold inside of 5 minutes.

Thunderstorms and high winds throughout the night...checked on the bikes once...no issues.

I woke bright and early...well rested and recharged...I layed there for a while...not even remotely cognizant of where I was...blankets and bedspread wrapped around me like swaddling clothes...that filthy bedspread wrapped around my face like I was starring in a fabric softener commercial...

After a few minutes, I remembered the horrors of the previous evening and jumped out of bed. Mike was still out cold so I commenced to getting ready. Oddly enough, he started to stir right around the time that I turned on the electric razor...LOL...he'll hate me today for sure.

A continental breakfast wasn't in the cards at this place so we agreed to get ready, hit the road, and look for a restaurant somewhere to the west. We geared up and headed out into the grey morning. Once outside, we saw something that wasn't there the night before...a mattress lying in the parking lot. Now considering the horrors the mattressws in our room had seen in their 30 years of service, I can't even begin to imagine what type of event would cause one to actually be thrown out of this establishment, but here it was. I assume there was a murder last night and the bottom of it is covered in blood and guts...it had been out in the rain for hours...it was probably clean enough to be reinstalled in a room now...maybe this is the cleaning process...we stood before it...pondering the possibilities...considering the frailty of life...dying to know the backstory. That's when I offered up today's first challenge...



That Mike...he's no coward.
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Old 07-19-2013, 09:34 PM   #48
furbis
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Holy sh$t you have me laughing so hard my wife can't sleep.

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Old 07-19-2013, 10:54 PM   #49
wasabi_peas
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Location: Central Oregon, USA
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Bedbugs FTW + laminated packing list bonus points.

Why am I such a sucker for stories that involve a sketchy motel stop? Glued to this thread for the rest of the story. Kudos on your writing and sense of adventure. My wife would have totally pulled the hall pass after the meth motel story. You win!
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Old 07-20-2013, 04:15 AM   #50
hippiebrian
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In. Dude, you have me cracking up! You's hate traveling with me! I ride sometimes 6-700 miles one day and maybe 200 the next day depending on what I find or how I feel. Great writing!
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:07 PM   #51
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Today's my first day of family vacation in Lake George, NY. No computer and a weak cell signal. I don't think I'll have much opportunity to post and I can't get the words out quick enough on the iPhone. I lose my flow of thoughts when working this tiny keyboard. I'll get back to it as soon as I can. I'll be busy posting stories about vacation on the "Adventure Nappers" forum.
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Old 07-20-2013, 04:42 PM   #52
Spinalcracker
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This is great I'm waiting for more .
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:02 AM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hippiebrian View Post
In. Dude, you have me cracking up! You's hate traveling with me! I ride sometimes 6-700 miles one day and maybe 200 the next day depending on what I find or how I feel. Great writing!

That's exactly how I always want to travel...just wandering the countryside and seeing whatever comes my way...changing direction at a moments notice based on the weather or an interesting road I've never seen before...stopping for roadside attractions for 5 minutes or 5 hours depending on what I see. I always start off that way...or, at least I start off imagining myself as the kind of person who can be that way. Hell, I changed the destination of this journey from Florida to Colorado just a few hours before leaving. I congratulated myself for my flexibility and easy going nature. In reality, however, I'm obsessive and once I've got a destination in my mind, I can't appreciate anything that doesn't get me closer to said destination. I would skip meals and ride to exhaustion if it were up to me. That was part of the draw in bringing Mike along. He's my polar opposite in this regard (and a few others), so I thought he might rub off on me little. His life seems much more relaxed than my own.
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Old 07-21-2013, 12:43 PM   #54
Marc LaDue
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Location: Hancock Township, Plymouth County, Iowa
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Let's broaden your horizons!

You're just the kind of fellow that could benefit from a trip with my group friends, the NUTS! It stands for "Not Usually This Stupid", but we're actually a nice group of mild-mannered misfits, from Iowa no less (home to such places as Adair), who travel west every summer on our dual-purpose 650's. Include your mailing address sometime and I'll send you this year's itinerary,

LaDue

P.S. Sorry about "Jeff", I never saw Fast Times. If you should reference something from Seinfeld or Ishtar, however, I won't miss a beat.
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Old 07-21-2013, 01:02 PM   #55
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"That's gold, Jerry! Gold!"

I don't think I can do much with Ishtar though. I wonder if anyone could.

I just happen to have a 650 dual sport that loves to travel. PM sent.

And please don't take my review of the Motel 666 in Adair as a critique of the state or the residents therein, I'm prone to taking liberties with the poetic license from time to time. (Not this time though...that place was SKETCHY)

BTW...what's up with all the windmills out in that area of the country? Those things are massive and plentiful.
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Old 07-21-2013, 02:34 PM   #56
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This is gold! Day 2 had me laughing the whole time. Thanks for taking the time to write this up. Waiting for more
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Old 07-22-2013, 01:58 PM   #57
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DAY3 broke grey and crappy, but the storm was moving east and we were headed west. We survived the night in Motel 666 and we were up and gone before the rest of the inhabitants. Apparently human sacrifice doesn't really let up until the wee hours of the morning and the mutants need their beauty sleep. I was beyond surprised to see our bikes sitting where we left them...I guess I jacked up my motorcycle insurance before I left home for nothing.

We decided not to prolong our stay in the beautiful Adair area, and immediately hit the highway; we'd look for breakfast in Council Bluffs. An hour or two later, we pulled into a Village Inn. The skies were still bleak, but Accuweather assured me that it was clear to the west and enthusiasm was high because we would be hitting Colorado today. Spirits were lifted further by an enormous breakfast and a pleasant waitress. We pulled out of Council Bluffs, still sporting our super suits, and motored toward Nebraska.

Somewhere near Omaha, we saw the sun. I was ecstatic. It started in small cracks and holes...promises of something better...and eventually we found ourselves happily motoring at 70 mph under a big beautiful prairie sky with big puffy white cumulus clouds. I was sure that Mike had never experienced this before so I silently congratulated myself for expanding his cumulative life experience. I'm really quite a fantastic guy for sharing this experience with him...someone should build a monument to celebrate me...I'm truly friend to every man...

Somewhere around now, amidst my silent celebration of all things me inside my helmet, the winds came.

I can't tell you exactly when and where it happened...somewhere around North Platte maybe...but the wind came like nothing I've experienced on a motorcycle before. The orange wind socks in the median should have been a clue, but I never picked up on it. All of a sudden, there was a right to left crosswind that pushed me right into the left lane and a passing truck. I fought my way back to the right, but I was riding with the bike leaned way over just to go in a straight line. Mike was cursing through the headset. From this point on, we were in a wrestling match with Mother Nature and she was kicking ass. Trucks and RVs were wagging all over the road, and were struggling to maintain highway speeds. On the occasion when I'd overcome a semi, I would get a brief reprieve from the wind as I passed on the left, but just as I cleared the cab of the truck, the wind would smack me so hard I nearly landed in the median. We stopped at the very next rest stop to ditch the super suits and regain our composure. I was working hard and sweating profusely just trying to stay upright.



Despite the seemingly beautiful weather, this was the hardest riding of the entire trip.
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Old 07-22-2013, 02:10 PM   #58
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If you've been following along up until now, thank you for hanging in there. These first three days were truly boring by AdvRider standards and I apologize. Much like you, we were anxious for Colorado and anything that could be loosely construed as an adventure. Rest assured that we'll be making questionable decisions, eating batter-fried testicles, and having close calls with wild animals in no time. Thank you for your patience.
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Old 07-22-2013, 02:18 PM   #59
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It's about time you put some miles on those bikes
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Old 07-22-2013, 04:14 PM   #60
Trl Rdr
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You can tell the wind is blowing strong when the tumbleweeds blow across the interstate before touchdown! I have first hand experience.

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