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Old 08-26-2013, 01:07 PM   #1
Walrus Oilsworth OP
Joined: Aug 2013
Oddometer: 19
Criss Crossing North America on a $500 C70

The Ride:

Walrus "Coon Tail" Oilsworth

1981 Honda Passport C70


Top Speed: 40MPH (pray no wind, no hill)
Fuel Economy: 80 MPG on a bad day.
Range: 160 miles (1 gallon tank, 1 gallon jerry can)
Slow Moving Vehicle Sign
Custom luggage racks front and rear.
Drinking 1 quart of oil every 1000 miles.
Rarely a day on the road the tools don't come out to fix something.

The Rider:

Paul Birrittella
Aspiring Mechanic
Running from the real world since graduating in 2012.


Free form roaming of the continent to see its people and places.
Intent to travel slow and get to know said people and places.
An experiment to see how far Walrus wants to go while challenging and practicing my mechanical aptitude.


Heading to the northeast at the moment.
Feel free to contact me if you're nearby!

Route completed so far:

Leg #1:

View Larger Map

Leg #2:

View Larger Map

Leg #3:

View Larger Map


NOW!! Still riding. Goal to ride at least 10,000 miles or as long as Walrus will have me.

Trip Report:

Quarts of Oil Used(1/2 qt capacity): 9
Rear Tire: 3rd
Drive Chain: 2nd

For the first 3500 miles I am joined by my best friend riding an identical passport. Here we are just before departure. Someone brings out a flag and we oblige. I tricked Yellow Belly(partner) into thinking this trip was a good idea. The passports are 70cc and technically motorcycles so he got his learners permit a week before we leave. No mechanical experience, just a thirst for adventure. Later on the first day Yellow Belly lays the bike down at a routine stop. I tell him it's not a god damn bicycle so don't treat it like one.

Man are the bikes clean. We left July 6th, 2013. Yellow belly would join me for almost 2 months time before surrendering to prior commitments. We leave the driveway with no route planned, no map, and barely any preparation. I have a plethora of spare parts, a tool kit that could do just about anything to these rudimentary bikes and bag of quick fix supplies(epoxy, duct tape, zip ties, etc). Mostly we're excited to plunge into the unknown, get lost and ask for directions, meet people, and waste our savings.

We have an easy time across western Wisconsin, Minnesota, and South Dakota. It was pretty much a straight shot to the Badlands. We wear in our saddles and probably lose a bit of height from our backs being compressed. Do these things even have suspension? The worst of it was the sun. Both of us burn badly around the knee caps.

Outside the Badlands my headlight burns out. Somethings wrong with the battery. Because of the broken terminal I believe it overheated. I had a spare electrical connector in the kit so an easy fix. Found a battery the same day in Rapid City, SD.

I've never paid for lodging on this trip. I aim for National Forests but end up "stealth camping" most of the time. "cough" tresspassing "cough". I have about as much impact as a wild animal, no fire, just set up tent, pass out, wake up and move on.

Below is an example of yellow belly booking it out of a beautiful campsite in western Wyoming outside Newcastle.

Mechanical trouble is scarce. Most notable is probably the clogging of Walrus's fuel lines. The previous owner botched a KREEM job and little chunks keep peeling off and clogging the petcock.

We surpass our 1000 miles maintenance check and do a routine valve clearance check, oil change, ignition timing reset, and cam chain tension. We get a sort of satisfaction of doing maintenance in remote areas.

Here we begin to feel the effects of altitude as we approach 5000ft. Should've planned for this, oh well. We begin to scrounge WY for the rare small round Keihin jets.

In Casper, WY we score a couple jets that may work. On the way out of town Walrus overheats and loses power. I check and find a white spark plug. The jet we switched were excessively lean. We end up finding the jets we need at a kawasaki dealer in Lander and learn that the jet I got in Casper was mislabeled. Back to running rich till Lander.

After Lander marks the first test of the bikes. Togwotee Pass, a 9600ft traverse. We're scared. We throw in our leanest jets and pin it.

Of course the scooters shatter our worries and we reach the peak almost anti climatically. Here I am celebrating as I realize ol Walrus loves to run and will take me anywhere.

And now, the riding got damn good. This is what I signed up for. Mountain views all the way to Vancouver.

Just another beautiful day in North America.

We enjoy Yellowstone.

In Bozeman, MT I break my valve cover while doing a routine valve adjustment.

I figure we're stuck in Bozeman till I can order one. Our host lets us join her to run errands into town. We stop at the first bike shop we see. The Bike Shack in Bozeman, MT hands over this one seconds after I explain what's happened and won't accept payment. Can't thank you guys enough.

Can't get over the beauty of British Columbia. Here is a routine stop on a pass just east of Hope, BC where we change back to low altitude jets.

Campsite outside Osoyoos, BC.

We spend almost a month taking it easy in Vancouver where I enjoy a couple camping trips to Vancouver Island. Both bikes get extensive tune-ups and run into too many stoplights in the city. It's plain to see these bikes like to be run at wide open throttle. We hate the stop and go traffic of the city and long for the open road once again. I order more spare parts and replenish the "oh shit" tool box.

Yellow belly's commitments begin to sneak up on him. He finds a buyer for the bike in Portland. We set off down the coast.

The riding remains spectacular. Mt Baker, Rainier, St. Helens, Hood. And man is it easy to camp in the west. Between National Forests and old logging roads we have no trouble making camp. Damn those burn bans though.

As if Yellow Belly's bike didn't want to go, it repeatedly broke down during it's final three days. Here a carburetor float bowl screw vibrated loose. Fuel began to poor out but miraculously the screw was just lying on top of the engine stuck between some cooling fins.

Standard OR coast campsite. I'm currently running with no lights till the next day in Portland. My battery exploded on me. Sure was loud, had my ears ringing as I originally thought both mine and yellow belly's tires exploded at the same time. Aparantly there are only 30 of these weird 6v batteries in the US. I've been lucky enough to find one in Rapid City, SD and Portland, OR.

On the morning of yellow belly's last day he has to repair a flat rear tire and clean the bike for sale. It is a beautiful ride followed by a terrible goodbye.

Walrus gets a makeover and confiscates Yellow Belly's awesome saddle bags and dry bags. Here just south of Mt. Hood switching to larger rear tire. Got 4000 miles out of the original.

Opt to stay away from the forest fires of California. Ran right by Burning Man where everyone appeared to be dead or dying and suffered through "America's Loneliest Road" which runs straight across nowhere Nevada. Easily the hardest ride of the trip, 35mph, high altitude, mundane landscape, and lonely with the recent absence of Yellow Belly.

I bolt for the Bonneville Salt Flats. Walrus gets a salt baptism which I hope will get her a couple more MPH.

But they're flooded! Recent rain rendered the track unable to be ridden. Some disappointed people who traveled a long way to participate in races that weekend.

Standard NV campsite.

I head to Lander to visit friends and recoup. For my style of riding, I'll take WY or NV any day. At least there is some features like this Red Canyon.

Yesterday Walrus gets a new drive chain. Will have to look for new sprockets before this one gets stretched out too.

Next update end of September. Thanks so much for the read. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions about my trip. Would love to hear from other riders.

Continued now on page 2.

Walrus Oilsworth screwed with this post 11-19-2013 at 03:16 PM
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:41 AM   #2
Beastly Adventurer
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Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Binghamton, NY
Oddometer: 2,058
Welcome to the Asylum Walrus. This must have slipped past everyone, we all love small bike reports. Keep up the report and post up some pics.

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just God when he's drunk.
Tom Waits
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Old 09-09-2013, 02:28 PM   #3
Walrus Oilsworth OP
Joined: Aug 2013
Oddometer: 19
Updated September 9th, 2013
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Old 09-10-2013, 01:11 PM   #4
Walrus Oilsworth OP
Joined: Aug 2013
Oddometer: 19
Updated September, 10th 2013
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Old 09-10-2013, 01:31 PM   #5
Studly Adventurer
Joined: Aug 2012
Location: Southeast Lower Carolina
Oddometer: 733
Some people type out the word "adventure" and post it.
You define "adventure" with your actions.
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Old 09-10-2013, 02:28 PM   #6
Dirt Road Cowboy
Sometimes I'm A Jerk
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Joined: Feb 2011
Location: Tyler, Texas
Oddometer: 499

Originally Posted by Ginger Beard View Post
Motorcycling has become something where a bunch of terrified cunts wont so much as ride to the corner store without wearing a Storm Trooper helmet and covering themselves in dayglow Nancy suits.
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:40 AM   #7
Walrus Oilsworth OP
Joined: Aug 2013
Oddometer: 19
Originally Posted by Rutabaga View Post
Some people type out the word "adventure" and post it.
You define "adventure" with your actions.
Thanks for the kind words!
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Old 09-11-2013, 08:41 AM   #8
Walrus Oilsworth OP
Joined: Aug 2013
Oddometer: 19
Originally Posted by Dirt Road Cowboy View Post

Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh and interest.
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:39 AM   #9
Studly Adventurer
Joined: Jan 2013
Oddometer: 965
Subscribed. When I was your age I quit my job and used my $1500 in savings to look for another job. I should have gone riding!
2007 Yamaha Royal Star Tour Deluxe, 2011 Suzuki V-Strom 650, 2005 Yamaha XT225, 1998 Ural Deco Classic
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Old 09-12-2013, 09:45 AM   #10
One Lucky Dude
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Joined: Nov 2010
Location: Rolling on the RTW
Oddometer: 326
Love the Adventure

Fantastic stuff!

Done a fair bit of riding and not sure that I would be up to the challenge of riding the Walrus. Great pictures, keep it coming.
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Old 09-12-2013, 10:25 AM   #11
Scruffy Adventurer
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Joined: Sep 2010
Location: Deep East Texas
Oddometer: 5,612
Originally Posted by ride4321 View Post
... This must have slipped past everyone, we all love small bike reports. Keep up the report and post up some pics.

Tiddler trips are cool and I don't know how this one snuck by me but I've got it in my sights now.
Keep on puttin' and let us know how it's going when you have time.
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Old 09-12-2013, 11:42 AM   #12
Studly Adventurer
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Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Northern Virginia
Oddometer: 625
I dig it. Makes me feel overindulgent on a 250
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Old 09-12-2013, 01:18 PM   #13
Pretentious Fukwit!!
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Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Moran Nation
Oddometer: 18,742
Subscribed, awesome stuff so far!!!
Fuck Cancer!!!
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Old 09-12-2013, 01:39 PM   #14
Scary Jerry
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Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Louisville, Tn
Oddometer: 4,769
Have a great time.


X the DY.

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Old 09-12-2013, 02:31 PM   #15
Joined: Jun 2012
Location: Good Ol' London Town
Oddometer: 24
Small bike adventures always impressive and right up my street.

Keep posting
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